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Math and science jokes -- GO!

A-ManESL

A-ManESL

Well-Known Member
Well, there was a long flight from Frankfurt to New York. Two guys - mathematician (M) and computer scientist (CS) - were flighing on a conference and sitting together. (M) was quite tired, he had had a quarrel with his girlfriend about devoting most of the time to math and now wanted to relax before his talk on the conference, i.e. to sleep. (CS) was in contrast much more active, his girlfriend was (CS) as him, and thus they almost never had conflicts. So, (CS) wanted to spend time doing something, and not sleeping.

- Hey, MAN! - he said to (M) - let's play a game!
- Listen, I'd love, but I have a headache, and I'd rather sleep.- answered (M).
- Ohhh! Come on buddy! You'll sleep enough in the grave! Let's play, I'll make very attractive rules for you. So, listen. The game is very simple:
. In your turn, you give me a question and I need to answer it. If I don't answer than I'll pay you $50. Otherwise, you'll pay me only $10. See?
. Now, in my turn I'll ask you a question. And if you answer I'll give $50, if not you again pay me ONLY $10.
So, understand?

It was pretty clear that it was impossible to get rid of (CS)'s game, and poor (M) agreed.

The first question was from (CS):
- What is the distance from Earth to Moon?

(M) without any words took out his wallet, Took $10 and gave them to (CS). Now it was turn of (M):
- What is something, which goes upstairs on two feet, and downstairs on three feet?

After giving the question, (M) turned to the window, and tried to fall asleep. (CS) was very puzzled. He thought for 10 minutes and no idea came into his mind about what the hell this could be. He threw a look at (M) and when he saw that (M) was asleep he took his laptop and started to search all his databases. But he found nothing. Then, using the mobile connection in the Aircraft, he went to the internet and searched it, but without success. Finally he sent e-mails to all his friends but no one knew what that could be. So, he sadly took his $50 and started to wake up (M).

(M) was firstly so sleepy that he didn't know where he was, but then seeing $50 he took them, and went to asleep again. But (CS) cried out:
- HEY, MAN!!! What is the answer?!!!

(M) without any words took out his wallet, took out $10, gave them to (CS), and fell asleep again.
 
PolyHedral

PolyHedral

Superabacus Mystic
There are 10 kinds of people in the world; Those who understand trinary, those who don't, and those who mistake it for the binary joke.
 
Wirey

Wirey

Fartist
A 40 year old mathemetician leaves his 40 year old wife to run off with a 20 year old bimbo. A few weeks later he sees his ex with a 20 year old man.

"Well," he said, "It looks like we're even."

"You have to be kidding," she replies.

"No," he said, "We each have a 20 year old partner. How could we not be even?"

"Some math nerd you are," she said, "Even I know 20 goes into 40 a lot more than 40 goes into 20."
 
M

Mercy Not Sacrifice

Well-Known Member
This is funnier if you've ever had integral calculus.

sex-fun.jpg
 
Gunfingers

Gunfingers

Happiness Incarnate
I sat here for five minutes thinking "The integral of e to the x equals fun? How is that funny?" NOW i get it.
 
sandy whitelinger

sandy whitelinger

Veteran Member
Four mathematicians and four biologists were travelling to a conference by train. The biologists stopped at the ticket office and bought four tickets for the outward journey. They were most surprised to see that the mathematicians only bough one ticket between them The biologists didn't say anything to the mathematicians (for fear of looking stupid) and the eight delegates got on the train. The biologists noticed the ticket inspector coming down the train and one whispered to another, "ah they're for it now". But the mathematicians calmly got up form their seats and squashed themselves into the toilet. The inspector (who was wise to people hiding in the toilet) knocked on the door. One of the mathematicians pushed their only ticket under the door. It was promptly stamped and returned, and the inspector continued on his way.
After two interesting conferences, the eight delegates met up at the station for the return journey. The biologists thought that they would take advantage of the trick the mathematicians had pulled on the way there, and only bough one ticket between them. They were completely perplexed when the mathematicians bought no tickets. The eight got on the train, and as the ticket inspector approached their carriage, the biologists piled into the toilet. There was a knock at the door, and they pushed their ticket underneath. They then heard the sound of muffled laughter as the mathematicians hurried away to the toilet at the other end of the carriage.
 
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