My friend is a Born Again and keeps trying to convert me saying I have NO free will

[Nada]

A few weeks ago I announced an upcoming surgery. My Christian friends came out of the woodwork to announce all the prayers they were saying for me. Two weeks ago I announced my wife would be out of town for the weekend and I would be home. The day after she came home I asked all the friends who were praying for me to stop because when I was home alone no one called or came over. They all said they didn't know my wife was gone. I said ok but stop praying for me anyhow. They got mad, why? I guess they cant bragg on FB that they are praying for me any more. Now they don't even ask about up coming surgery. Some good intentions just aren't needed sometimes.

So you got made because no one came to see you? How did they show they got mad?

 

[Nada]

No free will, that is laughable. Ask the new born how doing gods will is doing ones individual free will. Freedom is the left hand path, lol.

A baby has no concept of free will or many other things.That is why baptism at birth is ridiculous.

 

[willowgirl50]

A few weeks ago I announced an upcoming surgery. My Christian friends came out of the woodwork to announce all the prayers they were saying for me. Two weeks ago I announced my wife would be out of town for the weekend and I would be home. The day after she came home I asked all the friends who were praying for me to stop because when I was home alone no one called or came over. They all said they didn't know my wife was gone. I said ok but stop praying for me anyhow. They got mad, why? I guess they cant bragg on FB that they are praying for me any more. Now they don't even ask about up coming surgery. Some good intentions just aren't needed sometimes.

WOW! oh yes she said that she prayed for me every day. When I found myself really really strapped for assistance, I asked her for one small favor to drive me to the local grocery store to grap just two things..and was conveniently ignored-two days later I get a reply that she was busy with "church things". Hmmmmmm

 

[willowgirl50]

No offense to the OP, but this person doesn't strike me as a particularly good friend...

I am coming to that conclusion. We had such a long history since 1987. we disconnected about the time I was going through my divorce as she just didn't want to be bothered being a support system for me. She's been married 3 times going on her 4th soon. We reconnected just three years ago and I was devastated to learn about her MD. I have been there for her taking any opportunity to help when she asks (to make trips to Sams club because she can't load the stuff in her car) etc..I have comforted her when she is upset at the man she lives with and plans on marrying (not until 4 years when he stops paying spousal support because he is still married and has not got a divorce yet).
When I think about it...shes a walking contraction.

 

[Nada]

I am coming to that conclusion. We had such a long history since 1987. we disconnected about the time I was going through my divorce as she just didn't want to be bothered being a support system for me. She's been married 3 times going on her 4th soon. We reconnected just three years ago and I was devastated to learn about her MD. I have been there for her taking any opportunity to help when she asks (to make trips to Sams club because she can't load the stuff in her car) etc..I have comforted her when she is upset at the man she lives with and plans on marrying (not until 4 years when he stops paying spousal support because he is still married and has not got a divorce yet).
When I think about it...shes a walking contraction.

Everyone makes mistakes but it's good idea not be harsh on our friends and loved ones.We should try not to concentrate so much on the bad one does.If one cares for another then they could lovingly point out some wrongs in a helpful way to help correct the matter.We must not ponder on these things and always be thinking about them in our mind.

 

[Draka]

So, not only is she evangelizing you, but she appears to be the classic definition of a "summatime friend". I've had my share of those and each one of them had to go. They will use you up. If you don't know the expression, she's your friend only "some-of-the-time" and those times are only times that are beneficial to her or as she feels fit to deign you with her presence..."for your own good" as she sees it (but of course those times she is still getting something out of it somehow, be it a favor or just a "I tried to help her I'm a good person" feeling). "Summatime" friends will drag on you, use you when they see fit and not give anything back. They will drain you. You either put your foot down and force a change in the dynamic of the relationship...or it needs to end, or you just suffer.

 

[willowgirl50]

Thank you all. Your feedback has enlightened me greatly however I will not base my decision purely on our discussion here. It will be based on what I feel in my heart. I truly appreciate this!

 

[Awoon]

So you got made because no one came to see you? How did they show they got mad?

They are mad because I don't want their prayers.

 

[Awoon]

WOW! oh yes she said that she prayed for me every day. When I found myself really really strapped for assistance, I asked her for one small favor to drive me to the local grocery store to grap just two things..and was conveniently ignored-two days later I get a reply that she was busy with "church things". Hmmmmmm

With friends like that, who needs enemies.

 

[Nada]

They are mad because I don't want their prayers.

They actually said this?

 

[Draka]

Thank you all. Your feedback has enlightened me greatly however I will not base my decision purely on our discussion here. It will be based on what I feel in my heart. I truly appreciate this!

Of course, you do what you feel you need to. I just kicked in based upon my own experience. My two cents as it were. Take it with a grain of salt I'm sure. Good luck.

 

[Nada]

Thank you all. Your feedback has enlightened me greatly however I will not base my decision purely on our discussion here. It will be based on what I feel in my heart. I truly appreciate this!

Even though we might think that doing what our own heart says to do is the way to go, we need to realize that our own natural inclinations are to do what is bad all the time.Sometimes we can use our own reasoning to decide what is best and not do the right thing.Everyone makes their own decisions,you have free will, but if you are truly seeking out guidance from God, then maybe you just might want to see how God views such things.Just a thought.

 

[roger1440]

I have a friend who used to try to convert me to a nonsmoker. I had told him the only thing nagging someone to stop smoking accomplishes is losing a friend.

 

[Scott C.]

.Then she proceeds to tell me that BY GOING TO HER CHURCH I HAVE NOW ACCEPTED THE LORD JESUS INTO MY LIFE AND I NOW HAVE ETERNAL LIFE AND THAT I AM A HEIRESS TO JESUS!!!!! I looked at her and was quite puzzled by that statement. I asked her how can that be? She said by being there I agreed to accept him into my life. I did no such thing. I did NOT accept any "communion" nor did I "drink any wine". I didn't bow my head and pray as I didn't feel comfortable in joining any prayer. I just sat there as a spectator.

HOW is this possible? I had to sit through her preaching about how I will now be able to go to heaven and so on.
This to me is NOT a good example of practicing what you preach. I think the only reason she came to visit was to tell me this crap.

Any ideas on this would be very helpful!!

Christians vary in their view on what it takes and means to be "born again". But I'm not aware of any that would agree with your friend that you were born again simply by showing up to church. Since I haven't met her, I don't have the full picture. But she sounds like a well meaning person who is under a lot of emotional stress and has some misunderstandings regarding her own faith.

 

[BSM1]

Please advise.
A dear friend of mine was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy a few years ago (she walks with the help of a cane and is not wheel chair bound). Now she is Born Again. She has been trying desperately to convert me to her religion. I am of no one faith. I was never baptized and was raised in a NON religions household (I am 49). She is relentless and I fear she is not using her belief wisely. She has income from her disablity and she has a man that she has been seeing for three years help pay all of her bills as well. She has money to spend on fine clothes and go to estate sales every weekend to buy things that she says "i don't need but buy anyway". She also goes out to good restaurants weekly for dinner. What bothers me is that she takes advantage of the Food Banks for her groceries...when I know she also pays for a Sams club membership and buys LOTS of food from there as well.
She takes when she doesn't need...

Also she preaches to me when I go to visit her and when she comes to my house. She BEGGED me to come to her church on her birthday as it would mean alot to her..So I did. I went with NO inclination of joining but honored her requests and went as I knew it would make her happy. I sat through it all and she was so happy that I was there.
Now fast forward a couple of weeks. I am recovering from a major surgery and have been home for 4 weeks. My partner works out of town and I have been trying to get by on my own with many physical restrictions. NOT ONE word from my religious friend except for a text the day of my surgery stating "May you find healing in our Lord Jesus Christ"...For three weeks no checking to see how I was doing or if I needed anything. Then out of the blue she says she would like to come over and visit (three weeks after surgery). I say sure I would love to see you. She visits and during her visit gives me a "get well card" with some reference to some Psalm in the bible. I thank her for the card and ignore the reference to the Psalm thing. She made reference to it and then asked if I still had the copy of the new testament that she asked me to read. I said yes its on my bookshelf. She retrieved it and proceeded to then READ to me the passage she was referring to. This went on for about 20 minutes. Then she proceeds to tell me that BY GOING TO HER CHURCH I HAVE NOW ACCEPTED THE LORD JESUS INTO MY LIFE AND I NOW HAVE ETERNAL LIFE AND THAT I AM A HEIRESS TO JESUS!!!!! I looked at her and was quite puzzled by that statement. I asked her how can that be? She said by being there I agreed to accept him into my life. I did no such thing. I did NOT accept any "communion" nor did I "drink any wine". I didn't bow my head and pray as I didn't feel comfortable in joining any prayer. I just sat there as a spectator.

HOW is this possible? I had to sit through her preaching about how I will now be able to go to heaven and so on.
This to me is NOT a good example of practicing what you preach. I think the only reason she came to visit was to tell me this crap.

Any ideas on this would be very helpful!!

Try smiling sweetly and tell your friend that we all have to find our own truth. Then relax and take her out for a beer.

 

[Skwim]

HOW is this possible? I had to sit through her preaching about how I will now be able to go to heaven and so on.

No you didn't. You are an enabler.

By allowing her to bend your ear you are reinforcing her sense of duty (to convert you). If she was a true friend she would recognize your right peace and comfort in her presence. But she doesn't. She refuses to accept your decision not to do as she wishes, and instead insists that you do. This is not friendship, it's outright bullying. In effect, she is laying down the ground rules on which your friendship will exist: "I get to try to convert you, and you listen." I suggest that the next time she pulls this crap that you tell her to "Shut up. We'll talk about something else now" and in just those words. If she persists, just keep telling her to "Shut up. We'll talk about something else now" This is no more rude than her persistent haranguing. If she can't acquiesce then you haven't really lost anything, because the friend you once had has turned herself into some kind of religious monster.

 

[Nada]

I have a friend who used to try to convert me to a nonsmoker. I had told him the only thing nagging someone to stop smoking accomplishes is losing a friend.

If someone tries to convince you to stop smoking that shows they care about you.That is a real friend.

 

[Scott C.]

No you didn't. You are an enabler.

By allowing her to bend your ear you are reinforcing her sense of duty (to convert you). If she was a true friend she would recognize your right peace and comfort in her presence. But she doesn't. She refuses to accept your decision not to do as she wishes, and instead insists that you do. This is not friendship, it's outright bullying. In effect, she is laying down the ground rules on which your friendship will exist: "I get to try to convert you, and you listen." I suggest that the next time she pulls this crap that you tell her to "Shut up. We'll talk about something else now" and in just those words. If she persists, just keep telling her to "Shut up. We'll talk about something else now" This is no more rude than her persistent haranguing. If she can't acquiesce then you haven't really lost anything, because the friend you once had has turned herself into some kind of religious monster.

That may be harsh as we don't know her. Calling her out on her "crap" might be exactly what she does not need to adjust her approach. A gentle explanation of how you feel, while respecting her sincerity may be in order.

 

[Skwim]

That may be harsh as we don't know her. Calling her out on her "crap" might be exactly what she does not need to adjust her approach. A gentle explanation of how you feel, while respecting her sincerity may be in order.

I might agree if willowgirl150 hadn't said.

". . . she is Born Again. She has been trying desperately to convert me to her religion. . . .She is relentless."

 

[roger1440]

If someone tries to convince you to stop smoking that shows they care about you.That is a real friend.

I guess it’s better to be nagged in this life rather than die and spend eternity without cigarettes.