Naked pictures of your wife/girlfriend

[VoidCat]

We really do need to snip out ideas of ownership and posession of another human in all ways we can. Even married neither person belongs to their spouse.

That is to say cheating aint ok. But like to me the idea that the person isn't owned should make things better. It mean that the person could've chosen to be with anyone and they chose you. If they chose to only be with you and no one else should be taken as even more special. Their body is theirs and they chose to share it only with you? That's sweet.

Note: im neither polyamorous or monogamous. Im just sayin if someone choses to share their body with you it's much more special cuz of the lack of ownership. Polyamory ain't cheating by the way. I'll say polyamory is amazing too. The idea you can love more then one person is beautiful.

 

[ChristineM]

Artist and i see nothing wrong with pictures naked bodies, the body is beautiful... That said to show a pic of another without permission shows the character of the person showing the pic is untrustworthy and they should be treated as such.

 

[Brickjectivity]

My question... if you took pictures of them, why would you show your buddies? To me that's disrespectful and degrading to the woman, maybe even broke her trust of you.

I think he is hoping you will swing, and I think she is in on it. There is no correct way to invite a friend to swing. Some trust is involved and some unspoken understanding.

 

[VoidCat]

There is no correct way to invite a friend to swing.

Isn't there tho? Like you know upfront open communication?

 

[Brickjectivity]

Isn't there tho? Like you know upfront open communication?

I have never heard of anyone doing it that way outside of porn. People use signals -- hidden signals. They try to only communicate to those who are open to the idea. There is a cost and a risk to forming a friendship, and so there is risk in exposing hidden aspects of your life which might surprise people. Now what happens if you have invested time and effort into making a friend, and then you suddenly suggest that they swing with you and your other friend? It is a bit like asking them if they can get you some cocaine. They might, but if you do ask you risk alienating them. Its a definite change in the kind of friends you are and a sudden one. Now they have to say 'No' or 'Yes'. Rather than doing this, smart people will use signals. They will use feelers. They will try to send a signal that only a swinger will recognize. They will get you into a situation in which they can detect how you feel about this kind of thing.

Icehorse is obviously not a swinger. Notice Icehorse is asking "Why the heck is my friend showing me his girlfriend's picture?" But a swinger might react differently.

 

[VoidCat]

I have never heard of anyone doing it that way outside of porn. People use signals -- hidden signals. They try to only communicate to those who are open to the idea. There is a cost and a risk to forming a friendship, and so there is risk in exposing hidden aspects of your life which might surprise people. Now what happens if you have invested time and effort into making a friend, and then you suddenly suggest that they swing with you and your other friend? It is a bit like asking them if they can get you some cocaine. They might, but if you do ask you risk alienating them. Its a definite change in the kind of friends you are and a sudden one. Now they have to say 'No' or 'Yes'. Rather than doing this, smart people will use signals. They will use feelers. They will try to send a signal that only a swinger will recognize. They will get you into a situation in which they can detect how you feel about this kind of thing.

Icehorse is obviously not a swinger. Notice Icehorse is asking "Why the heck is my friend showing me his girlfriend's picture?" But a swinger might react differently.

Well why not check to see if they ok with swinging before trying to get them to swing?

Then again im not a swinger. Im just confused why you can't form a friendship see what their views are without outting yourself and them openly communicate with them that's what you want to do if they ok with it. Seems hidden signials might not get picked up on

 

[Brickjectivity]

Well why not check to see if they ok with swinging before trying to get them to swing?

Then again im not a swinger. Im just confused why you can't form a friendship see what their views are without putting yourself and them openly communicate with them that's what you want to do if they ok with it. Seems hidden signials might not get picked up on

True, they often aren't picked up on. For example Icehorse didn't respond by whipping out a pic of his girlfriend or in some other way returning the signal; but this way his friend doesn't have to admit being interested in swinging. In fact we aren't sure. It remains an ambiguous, uncertain thing. Icehorse does not even have to deal with it as a possibility and can ignore it.

It is true the friend could, instead, bring up the subject and ask what Icehorse's opinion is on swinging. That would be different, but then Icehorse would have concrete knowledge that his friend had inquired about it.

 

[VoidCat]

True, they often aren't picked up on. For example Icehorse didn't respond by whipping out a pic of his girlfriend or in some other way returning the signal; but this way his friend doesn't have to admit being interested in swinging. In fact we aren't sure. It remains an ambiguous, uncertain thing. Icehorse does not even have to deal with it as a possibility and can ignore it.

It is true the friend could, instead, bring up the subject and ask what Icehorse's opinion is on swinging. That would be different, but then Icehorse would have concrete knowledge that his friend had inquired about it.

Good point. Maybe it's cuz im autistic I didn't think about how it may look if they inquired about it. To me direct communcarion is best with anything. I just don't pick up on hints regarding any kind of social situation doesn't matter what it is. A few nights ago a staff member at the group home told me that I could turn off the TV if I wanted to if it bothered me. I said I didnt have a problem with it on and didn't turn it off. Staff member was said I see reverse psychology don't work on you. Me: huh? Her: I wanted you to turn off the TV. Me: then why didnt you say that? Her: I forgot I have to be direct with you.

 

[VoidCat]

@Brickjectivity it's @We Never Know who posted this thread not icehorse

 

[Vitality]

Yeah… that is not ok. Probably safe to assume they’ve shown others as well. I’m rather forthright, so I tend to call people out on their BS.

I’m curious, is there any reason you didn’t respond with A: the fact that you don’t want to see that, B: how utterly unethical it is to do something like that?

 

[Father Heathen]

But if guys see your wife's muffin, it isnt your own anymore...so to say.

Ladies, pm me your muffins and I'll mint them into NFTs, and then we'll pool and split the profits.

 

[We Never Know]

We really do need to snip out ideas of ownership and posession of another human in all ways we can. Even married neither person belongs to their spouse.

Its not about ownership. When I say "your" wife it doesn't mean you own her.

 

[We Never Know]

Yeah… that is not ok. Probably safe to assume they’ve shown others as well. I’m rather forthright, so I tend to call people out on their BS.

I’m curious, is there any reason you didn’t respond with A: the fact that you don’t want to see that, B: how utterly unethical it is to do something like that?

I didn't look at them. Told him I thought it was a stupid degrading thing to do.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

Candaulism is the sexual fetish for exposing your partner.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

But if guys see your wife's muffin, it isnt your own anymore...so to say.

No way ANYONE is getting my wife's muffins! She adds blueberries from our backyard and semisweet chocolate chips, and uses coarse sea salt to get that delicious salty crunch mixing in with the chocolate.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

My question... if you took pictures of them, why would you show your buddies?

I wouldn't answer this outside of Eros...

 

[VoidCat]

Ill add cuz @Guitar's Cry does have a point some people are ok with photos being shown. But you should have consent from both the person who sent it and from the person you are showing it to. To me showing a photo of someone like that even if you have the person who sent it to you's consent but not having the person you are showing it to's consent its like sending someone an unsolicited dick pic online. No one likes that. Most folk don't want to see a nude pic without having given consent to see said pic even if it's of someone else.

Me personally im not ok with my photos being posted on the Internet or sent to someone else. I dont really want mine shown to people. Tho the girl I sent mine to she asked if it was ok to print it off and put it on her bedroom wall. That I was ok with.

Consent is key.

 

[Guitar's Cry]

Ill add cuz @Guitar's Cry does have a point some people are ok with photos being shown. But you should have consent from both the person who sent it and from the person you are showing it to. To me showing a photo of someone like that even if you have the person who sent it to you's consent but not having the person you are showing it to's consent its like sending someone an unsolicited dick pic online. No one likes that. Most folk don't want to see a nude pic without having given consent to see said pic even if it's of someone else.

Me personally im not ok with my photos being posted on the Internet or sent to someone else. I dont really want mine shown to people. Tho the girl I sent mine to she asked if it was ok to print it off and put it on her bedroom wall. That I was ok with.

Consent is key.

Yes, consent is always key. Otherwise you are betraying trust.

 

[It Aint Necessarily So]

I have humor for those who like it baudy. If you don't, don't look at either video. Apologies to anybody offended, but this is some of the funniest material I've seen on the subject:

if guys see your wife's muffin

Spoiler

No way ANYONE is getting my wife's muffins!

This is from SNL with Betty White discussing her dusty muffin on an colorless NPR cooking show. If you don't want to see the hosts first, skip ahead to 1:40

Spoiler

 

[Revoltingest]

I've never taken naked pictures of my wife and no one has ever offered to show me naked pictures of their significant other. I guess I lead a dull life

I prefer the dull life, & not knowing such people.