• Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Access to private conversations with other members.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

Need advice... Clashing feelings about faiths!

Huey09

He who struggles with God
Perhaps you could try what I'm doing focus only on Abraham like relationship with God or abrahamism. I can't really explain a lot of it on a reply(and I'm kinda still working on the idea of it) but I did have a lot of insight from some people on my post in the theist section under "Abrahamism"
 

illykitty

RF's pet cat
Bow to idols and stone.:shrug:
which points that had pulled you to Paganism ?

They don't always mean to bow to idols, maybe I don't understand it well, but Neo-Paganism to me can mean simply someone who follows nature's cycles and celebrates them. I've never believed in multiple gods, only one God that is the source of everything.

I think it's a natural way to live... We are bound to nature, we can't control it... We live in it. We live with it. We are part of it.

Islam had too many things that felt wrong to me on many ways. Conscience, intelligence and feelings. If every single thing about me said it's wrong, how can I still follow it? Doesn't work, it makes me dishonest. God knows what's in my heart what do you think would happen if I lie?
 

FearGod

Freedom Of Mind
They don't always mean to bow to idols, maybe I don't understand it well, but Neo-Paganism to me can mean simply someone who follows nature's cycles and celebrates them. I've never believed in multiple gods, only one God that is the source of everything.

I think it's a natural way to live... We are bound to nature, we can't control it... We live in it. We live with it. We are part of it.

Islam had too many things that felt wrong to me on many ways. Conscience, intelligence and feelings. If every single thing about me said it's wrong, how can I still follow it? Doesn't work, it makes me dishonest. God knows what's in my heart what do you think would happen if I lie?

Islam means to submit oneself to the creator and not to the nature,nature as us is planned by God.

i think God is the most gracious,the most merciful and he knows better what each of us deserves.

Adam & Eve did disobey God but god didn't torture them.

You can't understand how God will treat each of us at the judgement day,no one knows and we don't have to think about his judgement because he is the most merciful and the most kind.

Nowadays is Ramadan which we are forced to fast and God said to us that fasting will be good for us,if just we know and i think today we can know that fasting is good for our health and God had exempted the sick and the travellers ..etc,so God is in knowledge for what is good and what is bad for us.


2:184 (Fasting) for a fixed number of days; but if any of you is ill, or on a journey, the prescribed number (Should be made up) from days later. For those who can do it (With hardship), is a ransom, the feeding of one that is indigent. But he that will give more, of his own free will,- it is better for him. And it is better for you that ye fast, if ye only knew.
 
Last edited:

illykitty

RF's pet cat
Islam means to submit oneself to the creator and not to the nature,nature as us is planned by God.

Of course nature is planned by God, I believe in evolution as well with the Deity being behind it, as the one who made the mechanisms.

Observing and celebrating nature doesn't mean to worship it... By being in awe of the Deity's artistry and power, we are in effect praising the Deity!

That's the way I see it. I can't believe in mainstream Islam anymore. If I don't find what I'm looking for in other religions, I might settle with Quran alone Islam, as it makes more sense to me.

But of course that is looked down upon by some as well, but I'm not looking for approval from anyone but the Deity and feel comfortable with my choices. I know it's there and brings comfort to have something if all else fails.
 

idea

Question Everything
What if my conscience tells me something that, for example, monotheistic faiths are against? For example, I have nothing against LGBTs and because of that, it was something that bothered me deep inside about Islam.

Another example, eternal hell is another thing that bothers my conscience. It's not logical, not merciful, not fair or just (even a lifetime of crimes doesn't deserve eternal torture).

Is this conscience the truth if it tells someone something different from another's?

Not all Christians believe in hell, and I think everyone holds more similar beliefs than we all admit too - consider this for example:
Illustrations of the Tao

I believe that we all hold to pretty much the same morals, because we all have the same voice of God within us - our conscience.

This vid explains some of my beliefs about our conscience if you are interested in it all.
[youtube]fycvkAhYz1I[/youtube]
Patterns of Light: The Light of Christ - YouTube
 

illykitty

RF's pet cat
Islam means to submit oneself to the creator and not to the nature,nature as us is planned by God.

Well don't worry about it anyway, I'm not feeling it with Neo-Paganism. I just don't connect with the beliefs... Don't know why. It's fascinating but not for me it seems.

I feel horrible though... I've had signs of Islam now and then but I don't feel like I can follow it. It's against my beliefs and I don't fit anywhere. I find mainstream Islam too strict and Quran only... Meh, don't connect to it.

This is so hard! I envy people who just find their faiths easily and it fits with their world view. It's easy for someone to be a Muslim if they already believe in Hell or something... What is someone who feels it's wrong to do? :help:
 

FearGod

Freedom Of Mind
Well don't worry about it anyway, I'm not feeling it with Neo-Paganism. I just don't connect with the beliefs... Don't know why. It's fascinating but not for me it seems.

I feel horrible though... I've had signs of Islam now and then but I don't feel like I can follow it. It's against my beliefs and I don't fit anywhere. I find mainstream Islam too strict and Quran only... Meh, don't connect to it.

This is so hard! I envy people who just find their faiths easily and it fits with their world view. It's easy for someone to be a Muslim if they already believe in Hell or something... What is someone who feels it's wrong to do? :help:

i think that is due to skepticism.

if we know for sure that one path will lead to hell and the other path will lead to paradise,then it will be a stupid choice to go through the hell road.

For example, if you are driving a car through one road which is divaricated to 2 routes and then one stranger stopped you and warned you not to go to the left way but to the right way because the left way is very dangerous and at one point you'll lose your life and the stranger gave you signs which you'll see through your journey in order to trust his words but if you did insist to go through the left road even though that you can see those signs then who is to blame.:shrug:
 

Treks

Well-Known Member
What about Amahdiya?
Or Sikhi :p
But seriously, there is an echo of Islam in Sikhi, including references to Allah in SGGSJ, and bani included by Muslim saints. It may offer the bridge you're seeking.
Or Baha'i maybe?
 

Monotheist 101

Well-Known Member
Hey illykitty... seems like you keep jumping off the Islam bandwagon everytime your tested.. Oh well hope God gives you strength and fills your heart with his light.

[youtube]aTIBC80cBAQ[/youtube]
Hardships After My Shahadah - True Life Story of Sh.Yusuf Estes - YouTube

The links about hardships after accepting Islam..Yusuf Estes is one of my favorites, he's got a great sense of humor and being an ex Christian Pastor..he's biblical knowledge is up there with the best.

Good luck with your search.

P.S Ramadan isnt so bad, at the end of the month I feel a sense of spiritual empowerment. Thinking about why I'm fasting helps me through it. I am sacrificing something that I love for God, one of the highest forms of worship.
 
Last edited:

Monotheist 101

Well-Known Member
I envy people who just find their faiths easily and it fits with their world view.
I think its the other way around..I dont think your going to find a religion that fits perfectly with your world view..unless you make a new one up :)..

IMO you have to alter your world view to fit whatever religion you choose.

I also feel a great deal of sympathy for you..because you've "sniffed around" Islam but fail to understand the basics..or appreciate what youve found..or lack of IMO.. Islam is easy..and once you understand the relationship Muslims want to have with Allah..you will want to do things for him which are alot harder than fasting. People have given up their livelihoods and wealth in the process to be closer to Allah..you cant even give up your hunger.

After following your thread for a few months.. Ive reached a conclusion that your conflict is an internal one, a state of denial. I think you realize how to truly follow the teachings of Muhammad and Islam you will have to alter your worldview..but at the same time you really don't want to. I had that dillema myself..I realized that if I wanted to be a proper Muslim, I had to give up certain things..I kept falling off the bandwagon but that never stopped me from trying to get back on it.

If your faith is something you can give up every week. I am afraid its not too strong to begin with.

Not trying to be judgmental..just my honest observation.
 
Last edited:

illykitty

RF's pet cat
i think that is due to skepticism.

if we know for sure that one path will lead to hell and the other path will lead to paradise,then it will be a stupid choice to go through the hell road.

IMO you have to alter your world view to fit whatever religion you choose.

After following your thread for a few months.. Ive reached a conclusion that your conflict is an internal one, a state of denial.(...)

If your faith is something you can give up every week. I am afraid its not too strong to begin with.

Not trying to be judgmental..just my honest observation.

No worries, I agree with you both... My faith isn't strong and I keep coming back and forth because of the signs.

I am not used to being challenged. How can I, for instance, leave my husband because he is non-Muslim. I love him so much and can't imagine my life without him (not to mention I don't want to break his heart). He would convert but it wouldn't be sincere, it would be to stay with me. He would eat pork and not pray - and I'm fairly sure that wouldn't "qualify" as a Muslim.

Why would Allāh ask me to do that? I'd also be more than just in trouble, no where to go, no money, in a foreign country... Essentially Allah asks me to do all you said people give up, combined.

What about Amahdiya?
Or Sikhi :p
But seriously, there is an echo of Islam in Sikhi, including references to Allah in SGGSJ, and bani included by Muslim saints. It may offer the bridge you're seeking.
Or Baha'i maybe?

I don't believe in Amahdiya. Long story short, I think they seem nice but that man claimed to be the Mahdi and I see no evidence for that.

I love Sikhi but is it weird if I say it's a little too egalitarian? I love to be feminine and have an issue with not cutting Kesh (and I'm sure my husband would oppose it as well! :eek: ) I feel it's a little unfair to women with a lot of excess hair. Also I am shy and felt a little awkward at the Gurdwara. I don't know how to get over it. Maybe you can help me on that! ;)

Baha'i is a nice sentiment but for some reason I can't take it seriously. :sorry1:
 

FearGod

Freedom Of Mind
No worries, I agree with you both... My faith isn't strong and I keep coming back and forth because of the signs.

I am not used to being challenged. How can I, for instance, leave my husband because he is non-Muslim. I love him so much and can't imagine my life without him (not to mention I don't want to break his heart). He would convert but it wouldn't be sincere, it would be to stay with me. He would eat pork and not pray - and I'm fairly sure that wouldn't "qualify" as a Muslim.

Why would Allāh ask me to do that? I'd also be more than just in trouble, no where to go, no money, in a foreign country... Essentially Allah asks me to do all you said people give up, combined.

i don't know where did God say that if you believed and have faith on God then you should be separated from your husband if in a case that he insisted not to believe on God.

Please quote the verse from the quran which confirm that you aren't allowed to be with your husband if he is not a muslim.
 

illykitty

RF's pet cat
i don't know where did God say that if you believed and have faith on God then you should be separated from your husband if in a case that he insisted not to believe on God.

Please quote the verse from the quran which confirm that you aren't allowed to be with your husband if he is not a muslim.

There's a part in 60:10 [...] And if you know them to be believers, then do not return them to the disbelievers; they are not lawful [wives] for them, nor are they lawful [husbands] for them [...]

I think there might be a few more but they're talking about polytheists and one is for men, saying that they can marry people of the book. Doesn't sound like it applies to women.

My husband believes in God but dislikes religion, I don't know what that is in Islam... A disbeliever?
 

Treks

Well-Known Member
i don't know where did God say that if you believed and have faith on God then you should be separated from your husband if in a case that he insisted not to believe on God.

Please quote the verse from the quran which confirm that you aren't allowed to be with your husband if he is not a muslim.

It's not from the Quran but here's a fatwa issued by the European Council for Fatwa and Research I Want to Embrace Islam: But Can I Keep My Marriage? - Da`wah to Non- & New Muslims - counsels - OnIslam.net

Fourth: According to the four main schools of jurisprudence, it is forbidden for the wife to remain with her husband, or indeed to allow him conjugal rights, once her period of waiting has expired. However, some scholars see that it is for her to remain with him, allowing him to enjoy full conjugal rights, if he does not prevent her from exercising her religion and she has hope in him to revert to Islam.


So maybe this isn't such a barrier for you after all Illykitty ji. NEXT! :D
 
Last edited:

Monotheist 101

Well-Known Member
There's a part in 60:10 [...] And if you know them to be believers, then do not return them to the disbelievers; they are not lawful [wives] for them, nor are they lawful [husbands] for them [...]

I think there might be a few more but they're talking about polytheists and one is for men, saying that they can marry people of the book. Doesn't sound like it applies to women.

My husband believes in God but dislikes religion, I don't know what that is in Islam... A disbeliever?

You need to take baby steps..My advice is focus inside..not outside (your husband).. Nobody can become a perfect Muslim in one day..Islam is more about intentions..I believe if your intentions are good..God knows that and he will judge you for your individual test/hardships..not every finger on the hand is equal..

If I were you these would be my baby steps.

1. Bear Witness that their is no God but Allah and Muhammad is his messenger.(This being the most important, something so ingrained in me that I would not give it up for my Mother..and I love my Mom) Thus forming the foundations of my faith..This has to be the strongest IMO.

2. Remain in a clean state as much as possible..the Islamic Ghusl and Wudhu..Cleanliness is half the faith.

3. Control my ego..even when someone deserves a mouthful of insults..for the sake of Allah.

4. Make silent dhikr...consciously remember/invoke God and ask for his help/mercy. Have an awareness of his attributes.

5. Give charity in the name of Allah..this one actually feels really good for some reason.. Try giving up things which have real value..not just the trash that I was gonna chuck out anyways.

6.Pray as much as possible...start off with two prayers a day and work my way up.. I have seen the best of Muslims struggle to make 5 prayers..This also leaves me with a sense of relaxation.

7. Read the Quran in whatever language and try and understand Gods words. Dont get caught up in things that dont make sense..get proper help from a scholar..IMO not everyone has the means or knowledge to interpret the Quran..completely at least.

8. Try fasting a few time a week..in Ramadan..if i feel like i wont be able to..its better not to start..rather than break it mid way.. I have also heard the fasts have crazy hours in england..so I dont really blame you..Id struggle with 17 hours myself..but Ive learnt a trick or two:yes:..if I get too hungry Ill take a nap...worst thing you can do is think about food..keep yourself cool at all times..you are allowed to rinse your mouth with water..without swallowing it.

9. Think about the secondary issues after Ive become comfortable with the above..You were married before you accepted Islam..the rules are different for you...IMO if you had a strong faith in no.1 inshallah God will forgive number 9 and whatever is troubling you.


You remind me of a new born bird jumping out of the tree without actually even learning to flap your wings..you will hit the ground everytime..and I notice it happening over and over..I dont mean to intrude on your search..but sometimes people need an extra push..or tough love.
 
Last edited:

FearGod

Freedom Of Mind
There's a part in 60:10 [...] And if you know them to be believers, then do not return them to the disbelievers; they are not lawful [wives] for them, nor are they lawful [husbands] for them [...]

I think there might be a few more but they're talking about polytheists and one is for men, saying that they can marry people of the book. Doesn't sound like it applies to women.

My husband believes in God but dislikes religion, I don't know what that is in Islam... A disbeliever?

The verse you mentioned isn't applied to your case

(60:10) O believers, when believing women come to you as emigrants, test them. God knows very well their belief. Then, if you know them to be believers, return them not to the unbelievers. They are not permitted to the unbelievers, nor are the unbelievers permitted to them. Give the unbelievers what they have expended; and there is no fault in you to marry them when you have given them their wages. Do not hold fast to the ties of unbelieving women, and ask what you have expended, and let them ask what they have expended. That is Gods judgment; He judges between you; and God is All-knowing, All-wise.

You aren't emigrant in other words you don't want to leave your husband and the verse is about a woman leaving her community and her husband by her own choice and of course it is very normal to keep them with the believers otherwise they'll be killed if returned back to the disbelievers in those times (the 7th century).
 
Last edited:

Maija

Active Member
You may be with your husband so long as he doesn't dissaude you to not practice, there are fatwas that say this. If he would be willing to learn this is good-just do not pressure him. Make sure that you have his support to raise your kid/s muslim if that time comes (if you have them), wear hijab if you believe in it.

just make sure to do one step at a time, this is mistake ive made many times. remember God is kind and will never lead us astray. I've been in your shoes, lol
 

illykitty

RF's pet cat
Well, I decided to try Sanatana Dharma (Hinduism) and, I suppose, Vaishnava path since I am attracted to Krishna (although Kali kind of fascinates me and I've seen her name around a lot this year). But I don't know what to do nor what to read. I only know some of the beliefs, not the practice and the Bhagavad Gita is the only text I read...

I don't know where to go from here.
 

Maija

Active Member
Well, I decided to try Sanatana Dharma (Hinduism) and, I suppose, Vaishnava path since I am attracted to Krishna (although Kali kind of fascinates me and I've seen her name around a lot this year). But I don't know what to do nor what to read. I only know some of the beliefs, not the practice and the Bhagavad Gita is the only text I read...

I don't know where to go from here.

I feel so close to monotheistic SD like the Gaudiya Vaishnava path, it is especially sweet to me filled with bhakti, a strong community/fellowship atmosphere and reminscing on the love of Sri Krishna. While all paths have these elements, this path I felt most strong about.

I really believe that God has seleced this path for me, like cupids arrow.

At first i was fearful, thinking how do i know this is my path? but, then ive been praying for years for God to bring me close to Him, to show me the way. now that i feel such closeness, joy and inspiration. Life is golden, i am much more positive, i now feel complete. i am a better mother, wife and friend becuase of my practice. Why should i fear that God would mislead me? Why would He expose me to mantras and bhajans that cause me to weep and my heart to melt if this were not my path?

have an open heart, keep your dialogue with God open and you will never go astray. if in the end you do not make SD your spiritual home, you will have gained friends and insight and lost nothing at all.
 
Top