Mercy Not Sacrifice
Well-Known Member
What's your take on open relationships--intimate relationships where the couple (or group, perhaps) is allowed to seek other partners at will and without fault?
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Open Relationships
- Thread starter Mercy Not Sacrifice
- Start date
opensoul7
Active Member
I voted , like everything they have many pros and cons.
And also like everything the morality is for the individual to decide .That kind of "open" relationship is not for me personally , but may work well for someone else. My idea of "open" is more along the lines of being completely honest with my significant other about all aspects of my life and beliefs. I do however know a few people who swing and are happy and secure in their relationships.
And also like everything the morality is for the individual to decide .That kind of "open" relationship is not for me personally , but may work well for someone else. My idea of "open" is more along the lines of being completely honest with my significant other about all aspects of my life and beliefs. I do however know a few people who swing and are happy and secure in their relationships.
I think you are right here. It's easy to decide in advance that it would be fun to try but then, when practicing, human instincts kick in and one get's annoyed at that person that makes out with "your" partner. There is also the risk that one person in a coulpe have this as a fantasy and the other person admit it just to be kind but in reality suffer for it. So my personal opion is that partner swapping and similar activities are perfectly ok, in theory, in practice, it's a minefield.Ðanisty said:
indecisive cookies!!!
Member
lol, was i the only person who voted sexual liberation at its finest? lol
Like everything, they have pros and cons.
We've known couples who've had open relationships for decades, and they're as happy as clams. I was in a relationship before I was first married where we were open, and it was sheer disaster.
I've seen both sides of it.
Peace,
Mystic
We've known couples who've had open relationships for decades, and they're as happy as clams. I was in a relationship before I was first married where we were open, and it was sheer disaster.
I've seen both sides of it.
Peace,
Mystic
Booko
Deviled Hen
I watched my local friends on SOBnet from years ago in their open relationships.
Score:
Divorce lawyers: 14
Intact relationships: 0
Things followed two common patterns:
1. Couple's children had left home...but then grandchildren appeared. Grandma wanted kids around without all the er visitors. Grandpa wouldn't consent. Grandma tossed him out in favor of grandkids.
The more frequent occurence:
2. Husband pressures wife into taking part in swinging (as it was then called). Husband thinks he's going to get a LOT of extra nookie that way. Husband never stops to think that women are in much higher demand than men, and that he isn't quite the prize catch he thought he was. Wife gets all the action. Husband gets ticked. Divorce ensues. (On 2 occasions, the couple mutually agreed they had made a mistake, saw a marriage counselor, and got back on track.)
That's not what I'd call a stellar record for open relationships.
I think very very few people in relationships are so very detached that they can handle the extra stress on a relationship. Marriage is work enough as it is (though ultimately worthwhile work.)
Oh, and did I mention? This was before HIV, before antibiotic resistant strains of STDs, etc etc. The worst that could happen was an unintended pregnancy when the birth control method failed. But these were all *married* people, so at least they were in decent positions to care for any children they ended up having.
Score:
Divorce lawyers: 14
Intact relationships: 0
Things followed two common patterns:
1. Couple's children had left home...but then grandchildren appeared. Grandma wanted kids around without all the er visitors. Grandpa wouldn't consent. Grandma tossed him out in favor of grandkids.
The more frequent occurence:
2. Husband pressures wife into taking part in swinging (as it was then called). Husband thinks he's going to get a LOT of extra nookie that way. Husband never stops to think that women are in much higher demand than men, and that he isn't quite the prize catch he thought he was. Wife gets all the action. Husband gets ticked. Divorce ensues. (On 2 occasions, the couple mutually agreed they had made a mistake, saw a marriage counselor, and got back on track.)
That's not what I'd call a stellar record for open relationships.
I think very very few people in relationships are so very detached that they can handle the extra stress on a relationship. Marriage is work enough as it is (though ultimately worthwhile work.)
Oh, and did I mention? This was before HIV, before antibiotic resistant strains of STDs, etc etc. The worst that could happen was an unintended pregnancy when the birth control method failed. But these were all *married* people, so at least they were in decent positions to care for any children they ended up having.
dawny0826
Mother Heathen
Mercy Not Sacrifice said:
This kind of a deal wouldn't fit my personality at all.
It seems potentially painful to me.
It's one thing if you have a buddy that you just like to sleep with. If there's no emotional attachment that's a different story but I couldn't see myself being in that position.
I couldn't share and wouldn't want to. That's not me.
Shadow Wolf
Certified People sTabber & Business Owner
I guess I'll say they have pros and cons.
I suppose they could be good if both individuals are completly open, honest, and ok with it.
I suppose they could be good if both individuals are completly open, honest, and ok with it.
