"Patriarchy"

[MysticSang'ha]

Nah, no harm was done there. I should have run after the guy, but I was just too flabbergasted; and later I bragged about it. It was testament for how well done a job my friend had done with the make-up haha.

I see it as a testament to how sexual assaults are viewed in society. It wasn't a compliment. You were assaulted, and he was a perpetrator.

It's sad that our societies and the people in it are that way. And I think the more horrible such assaults are, the less likely for people to even talk about them.

I don't disagree with that.

 

[Alceste]

Of course it's a choice. Like the choice of not wanting to starve. So?

Try again. I asked for evidence.

 

[WyattDerp]

Try again. I asked for evidence.

Well here's one bit; it may not be much, but then again all you offered was one random person. So here's another random person

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/27/opinion/27herbert.html

Those who think that most of the women in prostitution want to be there are deluded. Surveys consistently show that a majority wants very much to leave. Apologists love to spread the fantasy of the happy hooker. But the world of the prostitute is typically filled with pimps, sadists, psychopaths, drug addicts, violent criminals and disease.

Jody Williams is a former prostitute who runs a support group called Sex Workers Anonymous. Few women want to become prostitutes, she told me, and nearly all would like to get out.

“They want to quit for the obvious reasons,” she said. “The danger. The physical and emotional distress. The toll that it takes. The shame.”

Now, if you give me stats on the total volume of sex workers, maybe we can combine it with stuff like this and see what comes out:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forced_prostitution
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survival_sex

 

[WyattDerp]

I see it as a testament to how sexual assaults are viewed in society. It wasn't a compliment. You were assaulted, and he was a perpetrator.

I was assaulted as a sexy girl, not as guy. I'm sorry but you just have to believe me I didn't feel assaulted. I was 15 and the place was packed with awkward teenagers having a blast, nobody but me could even have seen it; so if you want to tell me that *I* don't take sexual assault seriously, then why not say so directly? Me and my best female friend spent like two hours on her doing makeup and making my boobs and whatnot, we even thought of putty for the nipples; we were rather innocent and yes, in that situation it was funny to us, we basically high fived later. I didn't deny I was assaulted, or at least that that's what he had in mind; but if I say no harm was done, who are you to tell me otherwise? That's silly. You don't know either of us, you weren't there either, so lol. And I'm glad it happened, because it gave me a new perspective to put it mildly.

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

IAnd I'm glad it happened, because it gave me a new perspective to put it mildly.

And it gave the perpetrator positive reinforcement. How special for his peers and next victim.

 

[WyattDerp]

And it gave the perpetrator positive reinforcement. How special for his peers and next victim.

What did? That if you grab an *** for 0.5 seconds while walking fast in when hundreds of people are standing around tightly packed, there is nothing they can do if they don't react within 3 seconds? Sure, but how exactly is that my fault? And how would it have been better if he had grabbed the butt of a girl instead of mine? I just don't get any of this, heh...

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

I just don't get any of this, heh...

True.

 

[WyattDerp]

So you have nothing to respond to the part you conveniently didn't quote. Well then, there is nothing to get I safely presume.

 

[WyattDerp]

Maybe I should try to spell it out more slowly: How does my being glad that perv grabbed the one and only dude in drag, without knowing, instead of a girl, give said perv "positive reinforcement"? Does he read RF?

If you make such an accusation, you better well ******* have something to back it up. Just making a cute quote turd doesn't cut it bro. **** or get off the pot.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Maybe I should try to spell it out more slowly: How does my being glad that perv grabbed the one and only dude in drag, without knowing, instead of a girl, give said perv "positive reinforcement"? Does he read RF?

If you make such an accusation, you better well ******* have something to back it up. Just making a cute quote turd doesn't cut it bro. **** or get off the pot.

You can stop being so abrasive and try to understand what is being said here, for one.

Personally, I don't think you're taking the assault happening to you seriously.

 

[WyattDerp]

You can stop being so abrasive and try to understand what is being said here, for one.

How is asking a straightforward question not trying to understand what is being said, and how is it my fault it was ignored? Or is this some kind of ironic in joke about blaming the victim - wtf??

Personally, I don't think you're taking the assault happening to you seriously.

No, it's just I like women. I take the assaults it stands for, in my mind, very seriously indeed. But that was just funny. I was surrounded by like 10 friends ffs. It was no dark scary scene, it was a split second. But it was very telling for me exactly because of that. If it happens to me in the 4 hours I'm a girl, I can only imagine what is going on. That's why I related the anecdote; to then get accused to have given positive affirmation to that guy by having it found funny at the time, is just ****** up, and frankly, if the poster can't speak for themselves you're doing nothing a service by interrupting. They can speak for themselves or shut the **** up. I'm not kidding around with this stuff and I don't accept funays or derpy accusations. If I can't get the guy to correct it I will at least make a point of calling it out; what others do is their thing.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

How is asking a straightforward question not trying to understand what is being said, and how is it my fault it was ignored? Or is this some kind of ironic in joke about blaming the victim - wtf??



No, it's just I like women. I take the assaults it stands for, in my mind, very seriously indeed. But that was just funny. I was surrounded by like 10 friends ffs. It was no dark scary scene, it was a split second. But it was very telling for me exactly because of that. If it happens to me in the 4 hours I'm a girl, I can only imagine what is going on. That's why I related the anecdote; to then get accused to have given positive affirmation to that guy by having it found funny at the time, is just ****** up, and frankly, if the poster can't speak for themselves you're doing nothing a service by interrupting. They can speak for themselves or shut the **** up. I'm not kidding around with this stuff and I don't accept funays or derpy accusations. If I can't get the guy to correct it I will at least make a point of calling it out; what others do is their thing.

While I commend your shift in perspective on what women go through on any given day, the fact remains that you were assaulted. I'm not trying to shame you, to embarrass you, or to single you out here WD. I'm stating a simple fact. Trying to pass it off the way you have been, I think, is disregarding how you yourself were attacked.

FWIW, I'm not kidding around with this stuff either.

 

[WyattDerp]

At this point I feel I should just nod to get this over with. For me it was like he assaulted the person he took me for, not me. I remember when I was a kid and playing with a friend when a random dude walked past, hugged me saying "mi amigo" and walked on. That kinda creeped me out (mostly because it was summer and he had rather warm clothes on, not to mention hugging me out of nowhere), that was a billion times scarier for me personally than having my sexy man butt grabbed by a old pathetic fart who fell for my disguise, on an evening that was mostly marked by having a great time with girls ^^ I still would find it funny, if there was not the background of the things that are not funny at all.

 

[Mathematician]

I was assaulted as a sexy girl, not as guy. I'm sorry but you just have to believe me I didn't feel assaulted. I was 15 and the place was packed with awkward teenagers having a blast, nobody but me could even have seen it; so if you want to tell me that *I* don't take sexual assault seriously, then why not say so directly? Me and my best female friend spent like two hours on her doing makeup and making my boobs and whatnot, we even thought of putty for the nipples; we were rather innocent and yes, in that situation it was funny to us, we basically high fived later. I didn't deny I was assaulted, or at least that that's what he had in mind; but if I say no harm was done, who are you to tell me otherwise? That's silly. You don't know either of us, you weren't there either, so lol. And I'm glad it happened, because it gave me a new perspective to put it mildly.

Plenty of guys are sexually assaulted by drunken females they're not interested in; it's just not perceived by either parties as such even though it qualifies as violence in the feminist and legal lexicon. Not that I think it should be blown out of proportion because if it's minimal it's really not that big of a deal regardless of what gender the victim is.

Drunk female grabs your crotch? Tell her to bug off.
Drunk male grabs your butt? Tell him to bug off.

It doesn't need to escalate.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Plenty of guys are sexually assaulted by drunken females they're not interested in; it's just not perceived by either parties as such even though it qualifies as violence in the feminist and legal lexicon. Not that I think it should be blown out of proportion because if it's minimal it's really not that big of a deal regardless of what gender the victim is.

Drunk female grabs your crotch? Tell her to bug off.
Drunk male grabs your butt? Tell him to bug off.

It doesn't need to escalate.

yeah you haven't got a clue

 

[Me Myself]

Plenty of guys are sexually assaulted by drunken females they're not interested in; it's just not perceived by either parties as such even though it qualifies as violence in the feminist and legal lexicon. Not that I think it should be blown out of proportion because if it's minimal it's really not that big of a deal regardless of what gender the victim is.

Drunk female grabs your crotch? Tell her to bug off.
Drunk male grabs your butt? Tell him to bug off.

It doesn't need to escalate.

Agreed.

It just becomes problematic when the oer party doesnt understand a very clear and emphatic "no"

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Agreed.

It just becomes problematic when the oer party doesnt understand a very clear and emphatic "no"

I think it becomes problematic as soon as someone sexually assaults you

 

[Alceste]

Well here's one bit; it may not be much, but then again all you offered was one random person. So here's another random person

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/27/opinion/27herbert.html



Now, if you give me stats on the total volume of sex workers, maybe we can combine it with stuff like this and see what comes out:

Forced prostitution - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Survival sex - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

You said "most" are not in the sex industry by choice. That has nothing to do with whether it's a smart choice, or a choice they may come to regret. The implication of that comment was that most prostitutes / strippers / porn stars are human slaves without free will. That's the implication I was responding to. I have known a few prostitutes, strippers, escorts and so forth, and they all had a choice.

Yes, there is a slave trade and that is a terrible crime, and should be tackled with the full force of the law and eliminated. The slave trade, however, does not represent the majority of women employed in the sex industry.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Agreed.

It just becomes problematic when the oer party doesnt understand a very clear and emphatic "no"

I was assaulted in a dance club once. Some guy thought it was okay when he came up behind me while I was dancing to pull me against him, reach around and shove his hand between my legs. I stepped on his toe with my heel, turned around and back handed him. Security came over to pull me off him. He was easily 6'3" tall, and I'm 4"11", but I didn't care at that point about height difference or how risky hitting him was after the incident. What he did was a legitimate assault, and I was doing what I could to defend myself.

I was wondering if I was going to be thrown out of the club, but security thought I wasn't a threat. They didn't think he was, either, since he was allowed to stay.

Somebody just walking up and grabs me between my legs? That isn't a scenario that only requires a polite but emphatic "no". That's a clear assault, and I treat it as such. We don't tell children that if somebody touches them that all they need to do is tell the perpetrator to stop and THEN it becomes problematic. It's an attack.

 

[Alceste]

I was assaulted in a dance club once. Some guy thought it was okay when he came up behind me while I was dancing to pull me against him, reach around and shove his hand between my legs. I stepped on his toe with my heel, turned around and back handed him. Security came over to pull me off him. He was easily 6'3" tall, and I'm 4"11", but I didn't care at that point about height difference or how risky hitting him was after the incident. What he did was a legitimate assault, and I was doing what I could to defend myself.

I was wondering if I was going to be thrown out of the club, but security thought I wasn't a threat. They didn't think he was, either, since he was allowed to stay.

Somebody just walking up and grabs me between my legs? That isn't a scenario that only requires a polite but emphatic "no". That's a clear assault, and I treat it as such. We don't tell children that if somebody touches them that all they need to do is tell the perpetrator to stop and THEN it becomes problematic. It's an attack.

I was doing a theatrical thing where I was tied up and being menaced with a chain saw for a Halloween haunted house. It was a mad doctor scenario. The guy playing the doctor had been drinking and got carried away - he groped my crotch so I kicked him in the junk. He was petty ****** off but I've got no regrets. He wasn't even straight.