Polyamory or Monogamy?

[MD]

I picked monogamy by accident, it's neither. I am a pretty monogamous person and most of my friends are very promiscuous. Even in long distance relationships i've been faithful.

 

[CynthiaCypher]

Yeah, the poly people I've met have often impressed me with their integrity and communication skills. I waffle a little on the subject myself, and go through phases, but my husband and I regularly talk about our boundaries as we grow and change together, and as our relationship evolves.

As it sits, it's quite nice to know he has no desire to restrict me from anything I might enjoy in life, even if that's a bit of romance with someone else. I admire that, and most of my reservations about returning the favor are rooted in my own insecurity, which I'm working on.

Yeah the polyamorous are all saints, they exceed us mere mortals in integrity and communication skills.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Yes there are a wealth of medical studies out there that tell us that having multiple partners increases risk of STD's. And not just having concurrent or simultaneous multiple partners but having multiple partners period increases risk.

Which doesn't matter when you're practicing safe sex and not sleeping with random people.

Wow, you people really don't get what polyamory is.

 

[Alceste]

Yes there are a wealth of medical studies out there that tell us that having multiple partners increases risk of STD's. And not just having concurrent or simultaneous multiple partners but having multiple partners period increases risk.

Going out the door increases your risk of catching some kind of communicable disease . Guess we'd all better stay in forever.

 

[Alceste]

Yeah the polyamorous are all saints, they exceed us mere mortals in integrity and communication skills.

That's very kind of you to say, Cynthia. I'm flattered. :flirt:

 

[columbus]

Personal anecdotes are not evidence.

Sure they are.

Personal anecdotes are really weak evidence.

Really really weak evidence. Almost a total lack of evidence. But not quite, or else there wouldn't be so much religion in the human situation.

Tom

 

[Nymphs]

You are mistaken, trusting one person to not cheat is more logical than trusting 15 people to not cheat, specially when 15 people like to have all kinds of partners.
15 partners will never fill the desires of new adventures that extra partners demands.

you logic is flawed, because man is flawed to begin with and is far from perfection.
as CC said, Polyamory is not superpowers

adding more coals to the fire does not put the fire out, it only makes the fire hotter

If you are interested in learning more about polyamory, here is an additional link:

More Than Two: More Than Two | Polyamory Resources and Guidelines by Franklin Veaux

 

[HexBomb]

There is a difference between polyamaory, and randomly sleeping with multiplpe partners, but if anecdotes are so weak, I shall offer sources.

Commitment in Polyamarous Relationships, Elaine Cook, 2005
Group Marriage: A Study of Contemporary Multilateral Marriage, Larry and Joan Constantine, 1974
Monogamy's Law: Compulsory Monogamy and Polyamorous Existence, Elizabeth F. Emens, 2004

 

[kashmir]

Yeah the polyamorous are all saints, they exceed us mere mortals in integrity and communication skills.

yes, cant you understand.
I cant trust 1 person to not cheat
trusting 15 people who already admitted they like extra partners are more trusting.

cant you understand that?

 

[Nymphs]

Oh, and I bet you have a wealth of scientific studies to back your opinion, right?

I'm still waiting for it. :yes:

But in the case of polyamory, it is a rather 'new' accepted phenomenon, so studies haven't really been done too much about it. I'll be interested to see them when they come out.

 

[HexBomb]

yes, cant you understand.
I cant trust 1 person to not cheat
trusting 15 people who already admitted they like extra partners are more trusting.

cant you understand that?

If you can't trust them, why would you want to be in a relationship with them in the first place?

 

[Nymphs]

I picked monogamy by accident, it's neither. I am a pretty monogamous person and most of my friends are very promiscuous. Even in long distance relationships i've been faithful.

You do understand that polyamorous and promiscuousness are not synonyms, right?

 

[Nymphs]

Which doesn't matter when you're practicing safe sex and not sleeping with random people.

Wow, you people really don't get what polyamory is.

That's what I've been saying this whole time.

 

[kashmir]

If you can't trust them, why would you want to be in a relationship with them in the first place?

That is not my reasoning, that is the reasoning of Polyamory and its completely contradictory.

You cant claim one on one is untrusted (not even knowing them to suggest that from a Polyamory view)
and claim 15 people are more trusting.

It becomes circular and of complete contradictory

 

[Nymphs]

Going out the door increases your risk of catching some kind of communicable disease . Guess we'd all better stay in forever.

Wrapped in bubble wrap!

 

[Nymphs]

There is a difference between polyamaory, and randomly sleeping with multiplpe partners, but if anecdotes are so weak, I shall offer sources.

Commitment in Polyamarous Relationships, Elaine Cook, 2005
Group Marriage: A Study of Contemporary Multilateral Marriage, Larry and Joan Constantine, 1974
Monogamy's Law: Compulsory Monogamy and Polyamorous Existence, Elizabeth F. Emens, 2004

Thanks!

 

[Nymphs]

yes, cant you understand.
I cant trust 1 person to not cheat
trusting 15 people who already admitted they like extra partners are more trusting.

cant you understand that?

If you are polyamorous, being with another partner isn't considered cheating. :no:

 

[CynthiaCypher]

Sure they are.

Personal anecdotes are really weak evidence.

Really really weak evidence. Almost a total lack of evidence. But not quite, or else there wouldn't be so much religion in the human situation.

Tom

I have this bias against people who offer anecdotal evidence to support their claim...I tend to think they are trying to bull **** me.

 

[Nymphs]

That is not my reasoning, that is the reasoning of Polyamory and its completely contradictory.

No it isn't.

Definition: participation in multiple and simultaneous loving or sexual relationships

Link: Polyamory | Define Polyamory at Dictionary.com

 

[HexBomb]

That is not my reasoning, that is the reasoning of Polyamory and its completely contradictory.

That's ridiculous, and not the reasoning at all.

You can completely trust two people, and trust them to be faithful. You seem to have this idea that poly people just want all sex all the time. Polyamory isn't just all about sex, any more than monogamy is all about sex.

I'm a 26 year-old virgin, if I fell in love with two people and we were in a triad, and I trusted them, like you should in a relationship of any kind, I would not expect them to cheat, just because they have two partners. Having two partners in the context of a relationship isn't asking for someone to cheat anymore than having one partner is. Relationships aren't all about sex.