• Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Access to private conversations with other members.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

Polygamy (polygyny)

Judgement Day

Active Member
tlcmel said:
Why is it that men are permitted to marry more than one wife but women aren't? That seems a bit unfair to me.:confused:
There are a couple of reasons why women are not allowed to marry more than one man. First is that if a woman were to have sexual intercourse with her husbands, it would be difficult to determine the father of the baby. Second, the population of women are significantly much more larger than men, thus marrying more than one man would decrease the chance of other women to get married. Third, there is something called a headship in a family, where a wife must subject themselves to their husband unless the husband is in the violation of God's rule (this does not mean that a woman is lower than a man, but this system was designed to generate a good team work in a family), hence, if a woman were to have more than one husband, the wife would be in total confusion.
 

goraya15

Member
a confusing topic to be sure. Most people, at least muslims, know the conditions of having more then one wife, but i don't anyone here has really examined why Islam has allowed polygamy. At first glance, it seems to only increase hardship for a couple. I mean, "threes a crowd", right?

Im no expert, but this is what i have learned about polygamy. It is not encouraged in Islam, because it is very difficult for the man to have equal treatment for all his wives. I mean, he has to love one of them more, right? Anyways, below is why i believe the Qur'an allowed polygamy in the first place.

1. To uphold social peace. After wars and other hardships, it is mostly the population of the men that takes a nosedive. This means that many more women will remain unmarried, and there many more widows. This leads to their desires being unfulfilled, physical and emotional. This can lead to adultery, fornication, and many other evils. Polygamy allows these women to be wed, and thus keeps society from falling into moral evils. In fact, i believe this is why the Holy Prophet made it a point to marry widows, I believe saying that it is a great act in the sight of God.

2. Well, i guess number two would be any other reason, as long it is lawful under the shariah. Like it was said before, everybody's case is different, although i think the point above was the major reason that made polygamy lawful.
 

jamaesi

To Save A Lamb
There's actually a very natural reason that polygyny is more common than polyandry and endorsed by more religions and cultures.

One man, multiple women- Everyone knows who their parents are.
Multiple men, one woman- Only a lab tech can tell.

Unless you think mother nature is a sexist old nag, let's not damn people for grasping the obvious.


That said, I see nothing wrong for all forms of polygamy when practiced by consenting adults. It's none of my business and I'll keep my nose in mine.
 

AbuQuteiba

Active Member
jamaesi said:
There's actually a very natural reason that polygyny is more common than polyandry and endorsed by more religions and cultures.

One man, multiple women- Everyone knows who their parents are.
Multiple men, one woman- Only a lab tech can tell.

Unless you think mother nature is a sexist old nag, let's not damn people for grasping the obvious.


That said, I see nothing wrong for all forms of polygamy when practiced by consenting adults. It's none of my business and I'll keep my nose in mine.

I think i'll go with what Allah(SWT) says is wrong. I believe only he, (SWT), can tell (us) right from wrong.
 

jamaesi

To Save A Lamb
I think i'll go with what Allah(SWT) says is wrong. I believe only he, (SWT), can tell (us) right from wrong.

And I think I'll refrain from judging others- judging is G-d's job.
 

jamaesi

To Save A Lamb
Indeed it is. What's your point? (And spreading the truth is our Job)

My point is I'll stay out of other people's personal lives and business as long as no one is being hurt. I'm not so insecure with my life that I need to judge and try and run other people's lives by forcing my religion or personal beliefs on them. What works for me works for me and what works for them works for them.
 

AbuQuteiba

Active Member
jamaesi said:
My point is I'll stay out of other people's personal lives and business as long as no one is being hurt. I'm not so insecure with my life that I need to judge and try and run other people's lives by forcing my religion or personal beliefs on them. What works for me works for me and what works for them works for them.

[110] Ye are the best of Peoples, evolved for mankind, enjoining what is right, forbidding what is wrong, and believing in Allah. If only the People of the Book had Faith, it were best for them: among them are some who have Faith, but most of them are perverted transgressors.[3.110]
 

jamaesi

To Save A Lamb
Fantastic! Still doesn't change my mind about how I am not going to control or try to control other people's lives.
 

AbuQuteiba

Active Member
jamaesi said:
Fantastic! Still doesn't change my mind about how I am not going to control or try to control other people's lives.

Allah(SWT) said:

[48] To thee We sent the Scripture in truth, confirming the Scripture that came before it, and guarding it in safety: so judge between them by what Allah hath revealed, and follow not their vain desires, diverging from the Truth that hath come to thee. To each among you have We prescribed a Law and an Open Way. If Allah had so willed, He would have made you a single People, but (His plan is) to test you in what He hath given you; so strive as in a race in all virtues. The goal of you all is to Allah; it is He that will show you the truth of the matters in which ye dispute;
[49] And this (He commands): judge thou between them by what Allah hath revealed, and follow not their vain desires, but beware of them lest they beguile thee from any of that (teaching) which Allah hath sent down to thee. And if they turn away, be assured that for some of their crimes it is Allah's purpose to punish them. And truly most men are rebellious.

[50] Do they then seek after a judgment of (the Days of) Ignorance? But who, for a people whose faith is assured, can give better judgment than Allah? [5.48-50]

I never asked you to control, or try to control, other people's live's.In Islam, the only person that has the power to interfere in people's personal live's, is the Imam (leader). But that's not what you did in your previous post (the post that started this discussion). You said that you believe it's ok for any type of polygamy to take place. And since you are a Muslim, i thought i would advise/ remind you, of Allah(SWT)'s judgement.
[55] But teach/ remind (thy Message): for teaching/ reminding benefits the Believers.[51.55]

 

jamaesi

To Save A Lamb
You know what, above all, I know you mean well. But you are overbearing and nagging in your way of trying to help- and that never changes anyone's mind, only annoys them.

I am free to think what I want- and above all, I do not practice any form of polygamy! I have just merely stated that I do not see anything wrong with other people doing so- other people who do not have my beliefs or value system. I daresay I can't imagine G-d being angry with consenting people who love and are commited to each other- I can imagine him not being happy with people in a polygyny relationship that is nonconsenting and abusive.

And above all, polygyny was permitted in a time were DNA tests had not even been invented, before DNA was even discovered. The important thing about polygyny is that (assuming no one was cheating) everyone knew who their parents were- that was very important in that time. Now, through science, it is again possible to tell. Does that change things? Maybe, maybe not! I'd like to think my religion encourages learning and free-thought, so I do both.

I'm not trying to change your mind here or even debate this, I am just explaining to you why I feel the way I do about this.
 

AbuQuteiba

Active Member
jamaesi said:
You know what, above all, I know you mean well. But you are overbearing and nagging in your way of trying to help- and that never changes anyone's mind, only annoys them..

I find it hard to believe that a Muslim, like yourself, would react the way you do.

jamaesi said:
I am free to think what I want- and above all, I do not practice any form of polygamy! I have just merely stated that I do not see anything wrong with other people doing so- other people who do not have my beliefs or value system. I daresay I can't imagine G-d being angry with consenting people who love and are commited to each other- I can imagine him not being happy with people in a polygyny relationship that is nonconsenting and abusive.

Okay. You've repeated this quite a number of times. And i know you're free to think whatever you want. I just have one last question concerning this subject. Assuming you believe in Allah(SWT)'s judgement and wisdom, why would you find it ok for other forms of Polygamy to take place, when you know Allah(SWT) does not allow it? How can you expect me to be so accepting of a Muslim's thoughts when they totally go against Allah(SWT)'s orders?

jamaesi said:
And above all, polygyny was permitted in a time were DNA tests had not even been invented, before DNA was even discovered. The important thing about polygyny is that (assuming no one was cheating) everyone knew who their parents were- that was very important in that time. Now, through science, it is again possible to tell. Does that change things? Maybe, maybe not! I'd like to think my religion encourages learning and free-thought, so I do both.

Islam does encourage learning, and free thought. But inside the boundaries Allah(SWT) has placed for humanity. "And they (the believer's) say: "We hear, and we obey" Allah, the Qur'an [1:285].

jamaesi said:
I'm not trying to change your mind here or even debate this, I am just explaining to you why I feel the way I do about this.

And i, Jamaesi, am just explaining to you why i feel the way i do about what you're saying.
 

TashaN

Veteran Member
Premium Member
70291 - المرأة تصبر على الغيرة فلها أجر شهيد
الراوي: عبدالله بن مسعود - خلاصة الدرجة: إسناده حسن - المحدث: الشوكاني - المصدر: الفتح الرباني - الصفحة أو الرقم: 10/4958

I just found this hadith and it says "in it's maning": if a woman become pateint with her jealousy so she will get a reward of a martyr.
 

Laila

Active Member
I would not wish to share my partner with anyone else. I believe that polygamy causes a lot of hurt and pain; and I would personally prefer to be single rather than in a polygamous marriage. I think sometimes men forget that women have the same feelings and emotions as them.
It's funny that the equal treatment of wives wasn't made into some kind of Shariah law that protects the women; some kind of legal requirement that the man has to fulfill to prove that he can indeed provide for his wives.

Anyway, I try to be a broadminded person so I guess I can understand why and how polygamy would work. I guess when you're in an environmental situation, where you have to strive to just get a meal, it wouldn't matter so much to you - all the extra pairs of hands may even be helpful.
I guess it works for some; as long as they are happy but it's clearly not for me.
 

Hacker

Well-Known Member
People can do what they want to do, but you wouldn't catch me marrying one who has other wives, not in a million years.:p
 

peacefull

Member
Definition of Polygamy
1. Polygamy means a system of marriage whereby one person has more than one spouse. Polygamy can be of two types. One is polygyny where a man marries more than one woman, and the other is polyandry, where a woman marries more than one man. In Islam, limited polygyny is permitted; whereas polyandry is completely prohibited.
Now coming to the original question, why is a man allowed to have more than one wife?

2. The Qur’an is the only religious scripture in the world that says,"marry only one".
The Qur’an is the only religious book, on the face of this earth, that contains the phrase ‘marry only one’. There is no other religious book that instructs men to have only one wife. In none of the other religious scriptures, whether it be the Vedas, the Ramayan, the Mahabharat, the Geeta, the Talmud or the Bible does one find a restriction on the number of wives. According to these scriptures one can marry as many as one wishes. It was only later, that the Hindu priests and the Christian Church restricted the number of wives to one.
Many Hindu religious personalities, according to their scriptures, had multiple wives. King Dashrat, the father of Rama, had more than one wife. Krishna had several wives.
In earlier times, Christian men were permitted as many wives as they wished, since the Bible puts no restriction on the number of wives. It was only a few centuries ago that the Church restricted the number of wives to one.
Polygyny is permitted in Judaism. According to Talmudic law, Abraham had three wives, and Solomon had hundreds of wives. The practice of polygyny continued till Rabbi Gershom ben Yehudah (95% C.E to 1030 C.E) issued an edict against it. The Jewish Sephardic communities living in Muslim countries continued the practice till as late as 1950, until an Act of the Chief Rabbinate of Israel extended the ban on marrying more than one wife.

3. Hindus are more polygynous than Muslims
The report of the ‘Committee of The Status of Woman in Islam’, published in 1975 mentions on page numbers 66 and 67 that the percentage of polygamous marriages between the years 1951 and 1961 was 5.06% among the Hindus and only 4.31% among the Muslims. According to Indian law only Muslim men are permitted to have more than one wife. It is illegal for any non-Muslim in India to have more than one wife. Despite it being illegal, Hindus have more multiple wives as compared to Muslims. Earlier, there was no restriction even on Hindu men with respect to the number of wives allowed. It was only in 1954, when the Hindu Marriage Act was passed that it became illegal for a Hindu to have more than one wife. At present it is the Indian Law that restricts a Hindu man from having more than one wife and not the Hindu scriptures.
Let us now analyse why Islam allows a man to have more than one wife.

4. Qur’an permits limited polygyny
As I mentioned earlier, Qur’an is the only religious book on the face of the earth that says ‘marry only one’. The context of this phrase is the following verse from Surah Nisa of the Glorious Qur’an:
"Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one."
[Al-Qur’an 4:3]
Before the Qur’an was revealed, there was no upper limit for polygyny and many men had scores of wives, some even hundreds. Islam put an upper limit of four wives. Islam gives a man permission to marry two, three or four women, only on the condition that he deals justly with them.
In the same chapter i.e. Surah Nisa verse 129 says:
"Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women...."
[Al-Qur’an 4:129]
Therefore polygyny is not a rule but an exception. Many people are under the misconception that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to have more than one wife.
Broadly, Islam has five categories of Do’s and Don’ts:
‘Fard’ i.e. compulsory or obligatory
‘Mustahab’ i.e. recommended or encouraged
‘Mubah’ i.e. permissible or allowed
‘Makruh’ i.e. not recommended or discouraged
‘Haraam’ i.e. prohibited or forbidden
Polygyny falls in the middle category of things that are permissible. It cannot be said that a Muslim who has two, three or four wives is a better Muslim as compared to a Muslim who has only one wife.

5. Average life span of females is more than that of males
By nature males and females are born in approximately the same ratio. A female child has more immunity than a male child. A female child can fight the germs and diseases better than the male child. For this reason, during the pediatric age itself there are more deaths among males as compared to the females.
During wars, there are more men killed as compared to women. More men die due to accidents and diseases than women. The average life span of females is more than that of males, and at any given time one finds more widows in the world than widowers.

6. India has more male population than female due to female foeticide and infanticide
India is one of the few countries, along with the other neighbouring countries, in which the female population is less than the male population. The reason lies in the high rate of female infanticide in India, and the fact that more than one million female foetuses are aborted every year in this country, after they are identified as females. If this evil practice is stopped, then India too will have more females as compared to males.

7. World female population is more than male population
In the USA, women outnumber men by 7.8 million. New York alone has one million more females as compared to the number of males, and of the male population of New York one-third are gays i.e sodomites. The U.S.A as a whole has more than twenty-five million gays. This means that these people do not wish to marry women. Great Britain has four million more females as compared to males. Germany has five million more females as compared to males. Russia has nine million more females than males. God alone knows how many million more females there are in the whole world as compared to males.

8. Restricting each and every man to have only one wife is not practical
Even if every man got married to one woman, there would still be more than thirty million females in U.S.A who would not be able to get husbands (considering that America has twenty five million gays). There would be more than four million females in Great Britain, 5 million females in Germany and nine million females in Russia alone who would not be able to find a husband.
Suppose my sister happens to be one of the unmarried women living in USA, or suppose your sister happens to be one of the unmarried women in USA. The only two options remaining for her are that she either marries a man who already has a wife or becomes public property. There is no other option. All those who are modest will opt for the first.
In Western society, it is common for a man to have mistresses and/or multiple extra-marital affairs, in which case, the woman leads a disgraceful, unprotected life. The same society, however, cannot accept a man having more than one wife, in which women retain their honourable, dignified position in society and lead a protected life.
Thus the only two options before a woman who cannot find a husband is to marry a married man or to become public property. Islam prefers giving women the honourable position by permitting the first option and disallowing the second.
There are several other reasons, why Islam has permitted limited polygyny, but it is mainly to protect the modesty of women.
 

fullyveiled muslimah

Evil incarnate!
I don't think many people consider the ratio of females to males at any given time. When one says that polygamy is wrong, they aren't considering the many factors. The birth rate alon is disproportionate, then there are homosexual people to consider, death of males earlier than women, etc.

Dealing with the issue of homosexuals, you pointed out the male population. Even when the amount of strictly lesbian women is taken into consideration, there are still so many women who would be without a husband at all given the hypothetical situation. People should generally think broader abotu consequences rather than have a knee-jerk "no".
 

Judgement Day

Active Member
POLYGAMY

These were the other grounds for attacking Islam and the Holy Prophet of Islam by the Christian missionaries, who pointed out that, on the other hand, Jesus Christ did not indulge in sex at all as he did not marry. To refrain from marrying is not a good example as the world would come to an end in one generation if that example were universally followed. Abstinence from lawful marriage is going against nature, if there is any natural urge in a man. In any case, the present-day research by some of the Christians themselves shows that Jesus Christ had married Marry Magdalene either before his crucifixion or afterwards when he migrated to Kashmir. A German magazine published, a few years ago, the photograph of a present-day family in Kashmir which claims descent from Jesus Christ, and has proof of it.

As for polygamy, practiced by almost all other prophets of the Bible who sometimes had hundreds of wives, it is permitted in Islam only when there is an excess of women over men, due usually to wars which create widows and orphans who need a husband and a father and not merely a pension. Even otherwise, situations can arise when girls of marriageable age cannot find husbands within the community of their faith. In such a situation, polygamy is the only honourable solution. Even then Islam puts a maximum of four wives (on unlimited polygamy hitherto) provided the husband can treat them all alike, failing which he should have only one wife (4:3). Societies which did not allow it suffered complete breakdown of the moral fibre of the nation. As far back as the 1920's, Judge Lindsay in his book A Case for Polygamy estimated that there were, in the small society of England, as many as four million women compelled to become prostitutes because they could not find husbands. A woman is always wanting to marry, and to have the protection and security of a husband and a home, to have and to bring up her children, which is her biggest natural urge. It is the man who shuns the restrictions and obligations of marriage. If to him indulgence in sex is possible outside the obligations of marriage, he is all for it. So where there is a preponderance of women over men, and no polygamy is allowed, free sex springs up to destroy the moral and spiritual health of the society. It is a terrible thing to happen. And who would care to marry widows and take over their children to look after, unless it is out of compassion which is recommended in the verse of the Holy Qur'an allowing polygamy (4:3).

If the West is to avoid the complete breakdown of the institution of marriage, and moral and spiritual deterioration leading to human beings becoming animals or worse, it must consider allowing polygamy. In any case it is better than free extra-marital sex, unwed mothers, ******* children, broken homes, juvenile delinquency, drunkenness to drown sorrows, and daily increasing crime, which are all interlinked.

SOURCE:

AHMADIYYAT IN THE SERVICE OF ISLAM

by N.A. Faruqui
Ahmadiyya Anjuman Isha'at Islam, Lahore, Inc.
 

fullyveiled muslimah

Evil incarnate!
athanasius said:
Polygamy.......Fun for the Guys, not so much fun for the girls........unless there kinky! LOL!

That comes from a television idiology about what polygamy means. When a man commits to polygamy in Islam the right way, it is not very fun. And the women don't have to be kinky because they wouldn't all be in bed at the same time. If my husband had another wife, we couldn't have sex all together. I hope you were being sarcastic and trying to be lighthearted with that comment.
 
Top