I dare to step in...
zombieharlot said:
I basically feel like I am a walking contradiction to God/Jehovah.
Why's that?
zombieharlot said:
With every pore on my body I contrast with what the Bible teaches.
That's the phase that everyone goes through...
zombieharlot said:
I am a horrible person and I deserve to be punished. At least, that's how I feel under the watchful eye of God.
Well, you acknowledge there's problem. Want to try to cope?
zombieharlot said:
If I knew for sure that God didn't exist, I would be a lot happier because I know in my heart that I truly am a good person.
No, you'd never be sure in what's not true. You could be possibly tricked into believing that He doesn't exist, but
you'd never ever be sure...
Good news is that God also knows that you're a good person. He sees your struggle, ready to help.
zombieharlot said:
I personally think God screwed me over because in order to engage in a relationship with Him, I would have to give up the things I love - the things that define me.
Could we possibly go to some details?
And - aren't there any joys or delights that don't stand in open contradiction to the Bible?
zombieharlot said:
The fear of God is embedded so deep and tightly inside of me that I wish I had never known of the concept of God.
Happily enough, you cannot turn back time
zombieharlot said:
I always have this fiending thought that if I look into other religions that God is going smite me. But I guess I can't know for sure unless I look deeper into those other religions. Which is why I'm here.
The God who has inspired Paul to write: "Prove all things" is going to smite you? Nope, I dare not to agree.
zombieharlot said:
But anyway, I was born into a Christian home and raised by my Christian mother. THAT I cannot help.
Yet, it can help
you
zombieharlot said:
Under her roof, God was so embedded into me that I grew sick of religion.
Alarm! Logical breach found:
God was embedded, and you grew sick of
religion.
1) God cannot be
embedded
2) Religion is the word I personally don't like at all.
Teaching of Christ is not a religion, not in the sense Catholicism is.
zombieharlot said:
I grew to hate religion. And growing sick and tired of it wasn't the sole purpose of me hating it. The more I discovered about myself the more I realized that I completely contrast with everything.
You're must be slandering on yourself, really!
zombieharlot said:
Now, who I am isn't a choice of mine.
Not a single choice, but the result of many choices, friend.
Let's not complicate what is simple, but still not oversimplify what is rather complex...
zombieharlot said:
What I do with who I am is what's in my power.
Exactly.
...Until you ask Him to help.
Look at Philippians 4:13... - does Paul doubt his abilities, though knowing perfectly that he's weak?
zombieharlot said:
The fact that who I am isn't in my power is what makes me feel cheated.
I'm not a business leadership coach, but I can see lack of
positive attidude here
zombieharlot said:
That's what makes me feel like I was meant to go to hell.
And that's exactly what I felt once myself...
Emotions put aside, the matter can be dealt with by studying it carefully.