Problems with Social Life

[xkatz]

Celibacy is no sexual act what so ever. No sex with another person and no masturbation to be specific. also, not indulging in the lookes of women, or thinking about sex and when a thought of sex arises, to get rid of it.

Well I guess you can try it... TBH however, I am not sure if this a good idea.

 

[Akshara Dasa]

Well I guess you can try it... TBH however, I am not sure if this a good idea.

Do you know what could be better for me?

 

[xkatz]

I know that meditation for six hours seems long, but if I could just absorb myself in Being, I could probably easly do it, or even go longer.

I do not think the amount of time you meditate matters. You can meditate for only 1 minute and feel like you have really accomplished something rather than meditate for 6 hours and your mind is like :banghead3 It should be a matter of quality over quantity, not the other way around.

 

[xkatz]

Do you know what could be better for me?

Maybe finding a balance. I do not think celibacy is the best idea but then again being overly sexual is just as bad.

 

[Akshara Dasa]

Being, real simple. I think you're a tad bit too attached to asceticism.

Renunciation isn't an austere attempt to push things away, but to simply let them go.

I wouldn't put myself through such a rigorous practice that you outlined unless I was taking my monastic vows. If you want to give up a home, and you want to beg for your food, then I can honestly understand the relevence of your practice schedule because your goals and your environment are conducive to such. But if you want to continue having any semblance of a civilian life like having a job, buying your food, coming home to your own bed....then reconsider.

I know what your saying here. I would become a monk if i could, but there are no monestaries for personal spiritual seekers.

I also feel that you have a unique way of looking at renunciation. Once reason why Im so willing to put myself threw such rigorous forms of asceticism is because I can recall a man once saying that intense renunciation is whats needed to find liberation. I agree with him. He said that one should not talk, unless about God. And he was a strict Celibate. I feel that that could work for me. But, again, im not sure.

Also, im not sure if im attached to asceticism, i just see it as a great way to get myself to the goal. But, perhaps im wrong, I could have a deep attachment to it and not notice!

 

[Noaidi]

Sex, food, and liquids. The first is a biological desire deep within the human anatomy, food and liquids are needs. We are trapped in the world of Sex because we identify with the body. The body loves sex and when the deisre arises, if we identify with the body, we will indulge. But, ceilibacy is a form of self-denial. You are looking right into the eyes of bodily identification and saying, "no, im not you and your not me, therefore I dont need you". That is what real celibacy is.

Food and liquids are taken away to release yourself from their bonds. Now, yes, you will always need them, but you choose which ones you want and you like one more and the other and one tastes better. But after fasting, you see that the food or liquid types is really irrelavant. The best thing for the body is whats best, not what tastes best or anything like that. Therefore fasting helps you realize the specific needs of food and water and not to spoil yourself but to only use what is needed. One realizes this in Fasting. I hope i explained that well.

Yes, you explained it well, but I don't agree with your reasoning. As this is not a general debate, however, I will leave it here. Thanks for your reply.

 

[YmirGF]

May I please practice a mild form of asceticism.

You will do as you please. You certainly do not need my permission.

If I were to practice mild asceticism these would be my "vow" if you wish to call them:

1. Fast according to one of the three types once a week
A. No food
b. Only Liquids
c. Only one meal

Um why? I wouldn't recommend this under any circumstance short of medical necessity. Period.

2. Meditate at least these times
Monday-thursday 2 hours
Friday and Sunday 4 hours
Saturday 6 hours

Anything more than 20-40 minutes, twice a day, is ludicrous. I simply do not care, in the slightest, what anyone else may say contrary to this.

3. Complete Celibacy

Um... why? Is there something wrong with sexual activity that I am unaware of? Tell me, I am all ears.

4. Non-Violence to all life

I mildly approve this. It is harder to be non-violent, but it does have its merits.

5. Refrain from lying

Understand that truth is relative to the information at hand. Personally, I am not against lying, per se, simply because, in general many people cannot handle the truth. It's best to be diplomatic with them.

6. Refrain from Stealing

Unless there is dire need, stealing is not tolerable. For the most part, stealing is no longer necessary in most "civilized" countries. There are always people, groups and agencies that can see to your basic needs if you are unable to provide them for yourself.

That would be basically it. Its very mild because im not really denying myself too much. I think this would work for me well too.

My guess is that you are still quite young, say, under 20 perhaps? My overall thought is that if you proceed will this regiment you are setting yourself up for discontent and failure. This isn't quite what I had in mind about saying you learn from your failures. One will trip and fall quite enough without hobbling themselves from the get go. I'd suggest you work on more realistic, meaningful goals.

 

[Akshara Dasa]

You will do as you please. You certainly do not need my permission.

Um why? I wouldn't recommend this under any circumstance short of medical necessity. Period.

Anything more than 20-40 minutes, twice a day, is ludicrous. I simply do not care, in the slightest, what anyone else may say contrary to this.

Um... why? Is there something wrong with sexual activity that I am unaware of? Tell me, I am all ears.

I mildly approve this. It is harder to be non-violent, but it does have its merits.

Understand that truth is relative to the information at hand. Personally, I am not against lying, per se, simply because, in general many people cannot handle the truth. It's best to be diplomatic with them.

Unless there is dire need, stealing is not tolerable. For the most part, stealing is no longer necessary in most "civilized" countries. There are always people, groups and agencies that can see to your basic needs if you are unable to provide them for yourself.


My guess is that you are still quite young, say, under 20 perhaps? My overall thought is that if you proceed will this regiment you are setting yourself up for discontent and failure. This isn't quite what I had in mind about saying you learn from your failures. One will trip and fall quite enough without hobbling themselves from the get go. I'd suggest you work on more realistic, meaningful goals.

I would like to fast just once a week, I dont think anything is wrong with that.

I have meditated at most for three hours. I just thought that sense I found something greater I could do more.

Im still going to keep the fasting, ill do 30 min monday-thursday, one and a half hours friday and sunday, and three hours saturday (all meditaion minuites are at least). I will also keep the non-violence. Is that good, can I succeed with this? I know you said 20-40 minuites of meditation, but I can and have gone longer before. If I can just feel Being, I can stay there for three hours easly.

 

[Akshara Dasa]

Also, I think celibacy is good. Everytime there is ejaculation I feel a loss of energy and I feel that I cant do as much. When I have gone 2 and a half weeks without ejaculation I feel like there is more energy in me and all sorts of things move deep within. Sorry if this is too much info!

 

[xkatz]

Im still going to keep the fasting, ill do 30 min monday-thursday, one and a half hours friday and sunday, and three hours saturday (all meditaion minuites are at least). I will also keep the non-violence. Is that good, can I succeed with this? I know you said 20-40 minuites of meditation, but I can and have gone longer before. If I can just feel Being, I can stay there for three hours easly.

Maybe rather than fast, maybe you could give up one type of food, that is a healthier and safer alternative. As for the meditation, just look at my suggestion in post #43, http://www.religiousforums.com/forum/2061018-post43.html

 

[YmirGF]

Also, I think celibacy is good. Everytime there is ejaculation I feel a loss of energy and I feel that I cant do as much. When I have gone 2 and a half weeks without ejaculation I feel like there is more energy in me and all sorts of things move deep within. Sorry if this is too much info!

This is your imagination at play. Your energy is not sapped, though your body may need a rest for a bit. The idea that sexual activity saps "spiritual" energy is absurd and says more about the individual and their mistaken attitudes towards sex than it does about any real measurable phenomena. I'm just saying.

RE: Fasting. If you are under 20 it is unwise to fast. Your body needs refueling.
RE: Extended meditation periods. Have you heard of the concept of diminishing returns?
My guess is that you are using it as an escape from physical reality which you do not want to deal with.

 

[Akshara Dasa]

Maybe rather than fast, maybe you could give up one type of food, that is a healthier and safer alternative. As for the meditation, just look at my suggestion in post #43, http://www.religiousforums.com/forum/2061018-post43.html

What food? Should I give up junk food and soda? I tried that once, didnt do so well. The reason why I like the one day fasting, is because its only one day a week, thats it. And I have three levels to choose from. No food, only water, or one meal. Heck, in the summer time I can easily live off one meal a day because im usually outside doing things and eating then becomes a hassle.

 

[xkatz]

What food? Should I give up junk food and soda? I tried that once, didnt do so well.

That is far more rewarding though :yes: Just because something is easy or convenient, does not mean it is necessarily beneficial. I think that by taking up a challenge like that, you can benefit yourself.

 

[Akshara Dasa]

This is your imagination at play. Your energy is not sapped, though your body may need a rest for a bit. The idea that sexual activity saps "spiritual" energy is absurd and says more about the individual and their mistaken attitudes towards sex than it does about any real measurable phenomena. I'm just saying.

RE: Fasting. If you are under 20 it is unwise to fast. Your body needs refueling.
RE: Extended meditation periods. Have you heard of the concept of diminishing returns?
My guess is that you are using it as an escape from physical reality which you do not want to deal with.

So sexual activity doesnt deminish one's energy? But I have felt it do so.

Why is one day of a little fasting bad? I know that my body needs refuling. I have a friend down my street that fasts the first three days of each month, its something that him and some christian friends do.

I also see what you mean by diminishing returns, but thats not always what happens with me. I dont know why its odd when someone wants to meditate for longer. Just because the average person has a hard time going 20min doesnt mean I cant, which I have, gone three hours and feel refreshed and rooted deeper within.

And if I wanted to escape anything right now its this change that im going threw. Its making look deep within, look at my mistakes and do "inner closet cleaning". Its also forcing me to clean out my "skeletons" and things like that from my "closet". This isnt fun. Before this started I was, to the eyes of others, happier and more social. But once this began, it all changed. Sometimes I was upset that this happened, but now I just feel like im going back home.

 

[Akshara Dasa]

That is far more rewarding though :yes: Just because something is easy or convenient, does mean it is necessarily beneficial. I think that by taking up a challenge like that you can benefit yourself.

CHANGE: I will instead do this, thank you xkatz.

I understand what you mean. Giving up that still will be far more beneficial to me and allow me to focus more on needs instead of conveniance. Again, thank you!

 

[Luminous]

I have one more question for you right now YmirGF. May I please practice a mild form of asceticism. I really feel like it will work. I see the need for a balance, but can mild asceticism help the balance?

we practice asceticism every time we do not give in to gluteny.

 

[Luminous]

Once reason why Im so willing to put myself threw such rigorous forms of asceticism is because I can recall a man once saying that intense renunciation is whats needed to find liberation. I agree with him. He said that one should not talk, unless about God. And he was a strict Celibate. I feel that that could work for me. But, again, im not sure.

You will find that we are all agnostic. What ever that man said, he said it from his own perspective. liberation is attained by the self, each different self has a different view and definition of liberation. one should talk about everything, everything is God. everything is Being. everything is Luminous.
I am Glad that YmirGF was able to grant you the energy and thoughts that you needed, and i hope you put it to good use.
Also, As Mystic said: letting go is not the same as pushing away (a way to achieve the desire for control). They should not be distractions, they should be reminders. We shall all rejoice, when we find within OUR selfs, TRUTH.

 

[Luminous]

So sexual activity doesnt deminish one's energy? But I have felt it do so.

In my opinion, the energy that males experience when refraning from "sexual release" is simply pent-up sexual energy manifesting in a different manner...perhaps "celibacy" is good, perhaps it is bad. but more likely a little of both.

 

[YmirGF]

Being, how old are you, exactly. (Your current physical body, that is.)

 

[Herr Heinrich]

Being remember that the Buddha tried asceticism also. After a few years he realized that to attain enlightenment his body needed to be strong as well as his mind. Another thing I learned was that when it comes to enlightened people the phrase "and yet..." seems to apply quite a bit. An enlightened person does not exist in the realm of desire and emotion or in the physical world, and yet he must also exist in these places. He just doesn't grasp on to desires or emotions. Meaning experience you life. Remember this could be the only one you have as an individual human being. Why waste it?