• Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Access to private conversations with other members.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

RF Every day sexism

DallasApple

Depends Upon My Mood..
I have also been harrassed by horny desperate drunk dudes, probably why I dont hit the clubs and pubs on the weekend anymore.

I wouldn't blame you..unfortunately for me it wasn't that easy..they didn't have to be drunk nor did I have to be in a club.

Besides that ..why cant a woman go to a club without it being an "expectation" she be sexually harassed ?So if we want to go to a club its just too bad?
 

ryobi

Member
I was at a party peeing in the bushes when a girl came up from behind me and flicked my penis with her finger.

I thought it was funny. I was like what the....then I laughed.

I was at a party(again-lol) and a woman asked to see my hands. I showed her my hands and she said you have small hands, and I said, "but they're thick" and she laughed
 

Wherenextcolumbus

Well-Known Member
I was at a party peeing in the bushes when a girl came up from behind me and flicked my penis with her finger.

I thought it was funny. I was like what the....then I laughed.

I was at a party(again-lol) and a woman asked to see my hands. I showed her my hands and she said you have small hands, and I said, "but they're thick" and she laughed

jay_marble_hornets_meme_trolling_by_makoki-d5ca71p.jpg
 

MysticSang'ha

Big Squishy Hugger
Premium Member
From the other thread I created that had a video of a woman sexually assaulted on a bus. An instance of when I was assaulted back in high school:


Personal story:

In high school chemistry class, I was sitting across a male I was partnered with for the day with our desks pushed together to be facing each other. We were barely acquaintances, but I had no problems with him prior to that day. We discussed the subject matter, discussed things unrelated to the subject matter (mundane subjects like fast food, movies, and the like from my memory).

Suddenly, I felt his hand reach up my skirt, slide up my thigh, and make it's way toward my genitals in a matter of two seconds. He gave no notice, no hesitation, it was a sudden and direct sliding up my thigh toward my genitals.

Instinct took over. I grabbed my chemistry book and hit him across the face, jumped up from my desk, point a finger in his face and yell, "Don't you ever reach up my skirt again *******!!!"

The entire classroom was stunned. I sat back down, the teacher told everybody to stay calm and get back to work, and nothing else was said. The guy across from me never confronted me about it, but I was asked by the teacher after the class was over what happened. I recounted what happened and the teacher shrugged his shoulders and said he was just checking.

I've told the story before many times over the years, and the reactions are mixed. I was told I didn't have to assault the guy by some. Others gave me a "you go, girl" kind of reaction. When asked for my thoughts on it, the only thing I can say is that it was immediate and instinctive. There was no thought in it all. I didn't think how to break it to him gently. I felt assaulted and I immediately felt I should put a stop to it.
 

MysticSang'ha

Big Squishy Hugger
Premium Member
Wow... the teacher's reaction was just to shrug it off and do nothing about it?

It seemed to be that way. I think given the severity of my reaction, my guess is that the teacher felt justice was already served. That's just a guess though, and perhaps what I'm hoping he was thinking by shrugging it off. :D
 

Debater Slayer

Vipassana
Staff member
Premium Member
It seemed to be that way. I think given the severity of my reaction, my guess is that the teacher felt justice was already served. That's just a guess though, and perhaps what I'm hoping he was thinking by shrugging it off. :D

Now I believe the cliche that books are more useful than many people... but for different reasons than what is usually assumed. :D
 

Penumbra

Veteran Member
Premium Member
I had a sexual assault once in high school. It's kind of like what MysticSang'ha described happening to her, but I didn't handle it as efficiently at the time.

I was at lunch, sitting at a table on the outer perimeter of the cafeteria with friends. This guy sat with us that day, who was loosely acquainted with one of the boys at our table, and he just kind of made himself at home at the table. He was a senior, older than me, and very suave and handsome and all that, and he started making people laugh and stuff, so we thought he was cool.

After a few minutes, he started turning his sights towards me, flirting, which I didn't mind at first. He went to the vending machine, and then came back and sat next to me rather than in the chair he was at before, and started to really directly flirt. Like, he brushed his fingers through my hair, complemented me a ton, said I smelled nice, just started making loose contact to break the touch barrier, and then he tickled my side, and I was beginning to feel uncomfortable but was still kind of playing along with it because at the time I felt that I didn't want to make a scene. I did tell him to stop but I purposely made it not sound serious.

But then, he quickly put his hand right on my lower abdomen, under my top, with his finger tips right at the edge of my jeans. I put my hand on his wrist to try to push it away, still without making a scene, and I didn't think he would ever do what he ended up doing. People at the table were laughing because they thought he was tickling me again, since they could see his arm over toward me but the table was blocking the view. Before I could react, he did what I didn't think he'd do, and quickly reached his hand down under my jeans and underwear between the legs, purposely stopping just short of directly touching my private area. I grabbed his wrist to pull his hand out but he was using strength to keep it in, moving his finger around right above that area, which was still a very sensitive spot to be touching, especially when not consensual. After a few seconds (table friends thought I was being tickled, freaking out), I got away from him and slid toward the other end of the table.

At that point I should have left and gone to the principle or something, but I was in some kind of shock where I just didn't want to move, didn't want anyone to look at me, and still didn't want to make a scene. My friends saw that something was wrong, nobody was sure what, and the bell was about to ring at any moment. There was like an awkward minute where I was pretending to focus on eating the remainder of my food while other people, including the guy, were doing kind of the same thing. In my head I was preparing myself to knock the wind out of him if he moved near me. The bell rang and I got out of there, he found me in the hallway and was like, "You know I was just kidding right? I didn't mean anything, just playing around." but I just got away from him, didn't want to talk to him, didn't want him near me.

I never had any contact with him after that. It was running through my head a lot that day as I replayed the scene in my head, feeling foolish for letting him violate my space inch by inch. I was annoyed at how it happened, how he flirted, got positive feedback, flirted more directly and started violating my personal space, and then the next second he's literally in the pants.

By the next day I was back to normal, and mostly forgot about it.
 

Wherenextcolumbus

Well-Known Member
I had a sexual assault once in high school. It's kind of like what MysticSang'ha described happening to her, but I didn't handle it as efficiently at the time.

I was at lunch, sitting at a table on the outer perimeter of the cafeteria with friends. This guy sat with us that day, who was loosely acquainted with one of the boys at our table, and he just kind of made himself at home at the table. He was a senior, older than me, and very suave and handsome and all that, and he started making people laugh and stuff, so we thought he was cool.

After a few minutes, he started turning his sights towards me, flirting, which I didn't mind at first. He went to the vending machine, and then came back and sat next to me rather than in the chair he was at before, and started to really directly flirt. Like, he brushed his fingers through my hair, complemented me a ton, said I smelled nice, just started making loose contact to break the touch barrier, and then he tickled my side, and I was beginning to feel uncomfortable but was still kind of playing along with it because at the time I felt that I didn't want to make a scene. I did tell him to stop but I purposely made it not sound serious.

But then, he quickly put his hand right on my lower abdomen, under my top, with his finger tips right at the edge of my jeans. I put my hand on his wrist to try to push it away, still without making a scene, and I didn't think he would ever do what he ended up doing. People at the table were laughing because they thought he was tickling me again, since they could see his arm over toward me but the table was blocking the view. Before I could react, he did what I didn't think he'd do, and quickly reached his hand down under my jeans and underwear between the legs, purposely stopping just short of directly touching my private area. I grabbed his wrist to pull his hand out but he was using strength to keep it in, moving his finger around right above that area, which was still a very sensitive spot to be touching, especially when not consensual. After a few seconds (table friends thought I was being tickled, freaking out), I got away from him and slid toward the other end of the table.

At that point I should have left and gone to the principle or something, but I was in some kind of shock where I just didn't want to move, didn't want anyone to look at me, and still didn't want to make a scene. My friends saw that something was wrong, nobody was sure what, and the bell was about to ring at any moment. There was like an awkward minute where I was pretending to focus on eating the remainder of my food while other people, including the guy, were doing kind of the same thing. In my head I was preparing myself to knock the wind out of him if he moved near me. The bell rang and I got out of there, he found me in the hallway and was like, "You know I was just kidding right? I didn't mean anything, just playing around." but I just got away from him, didn't want to talk to him, didn't want him near me.

I never had any contact with him after that. It was running through my head a lot that day as I replayed the scene in my head, feeling foolish for letting him violate my space inch by inch. I was annoyed at how it happened, how he flirted, got positive feedback, flirted more directly and started violating my personal space, and then the next second he's literally in the pants.

By the next day I was back to normal, and mostly forgot about it.

:sad:
There isn't a right way to act in a situation like this.
 

Sunstone

De Diablo Del Fora
Premium Member
I had a sexual assault once in high school. It's kind of like what MysticSang'ha described happening to her, but I didn't handle it as efficiently at the time.

I was at lunch, sitting at a table on the outer perimeter of the cafeteria with friends. This guy sat with us that day, who was loosely acquainted with one of the boys at our table, and he just kind of made himself at home at the table. He was a senior, older than me, and very suave and handsome and all that, and he started making people laugh and stuff, so we thought he was cool.

After a few minutes, he started turning his sights towards me, flirting, which I didn't mind at first. He went to the vending machine, and then came back and sat next to me rather than in the chair he was at before, and started to really directly flirt. Like, he brushed his fingers through my hair, complemented me a ton, said I smelled nice, just started making loose contact to break the touch barrier, and then he tickled my side, and I was beginning to feel uncomfortable but was still kind of playing along with it because at the time I felt that I didn't want to make a scene. I did tell him to stop but I purposely made it not sound serious.

But then, he quickly put his hand right on my lower abdomen, under my top, with his finger tips right at the edge of my jeans. I put my hand on his wrist to try to push it away, still without making a scene, and I didn't think he would ever do what he ended up doing. People at the table were laughing because they thought he was tickling me again, since they could see his arm over toward me but the table was blocking the view. Before I could react, he did what I didn't think he'd do, and quickly reached his hand down under my jeans and underwear between the legs, purposely stopping just short of directly touching my private area. I grabbed his wrist to pull his hand out but he was using strength to keep it in, moving his finger around right above that area, which was still a very sensitive spot to be touching, especially when not consensual. After a few seconds (table friends thought I was being tickled, freaking out), I got away from him and slid toward the other end of the table.

At that point I should have left and gone to the principle or something, but I was in some kind of shock where I just didn't want to move, didn't want anyone to look at me, and still didn't want to make a scene. My friends saw that something was wrong, nobody was sure what, and the bell was about to ring at any moment. There was like an awkward minute where I was pretending to focus on eating the remainder of my food while other people, including the guy, were doing kind of the same thing. In my head I was preparing myself to knock the wind out of him if he moved near me. The bell rang and I got out of there, he found me in the hallway and was like, "You know I was just kidding right? I didn't mean anything, just playing around." but I just got away from him, didn't want to talk to him, didn't want him near me.

I never had any contact with him after that. It was running through my head a lot that day as I replayed the scene in my head, feeling foolish for letting him violate my space inch by inch. I was annoyed at how it happened, how he flirted, got positive feedback, flirted more directly and started violating my personal space, and then the next second he's literally in the pants.

By the next day I was back to normal, and mostly forgot about it.

I think, if I improbably found myself in the same circumstances, I'd be just as shocked as you were -- and almost certainly more confused, given that I probably don't think as surely as you do.

When I was a teen, my uncle introduced us to his fiance. (In retrospect, I've come to recognize that my uncle had consistently poor taste in women.) She decided for reasons of her own, to sit on my lap. She squirmed unnecessarily while settling herself in, and I had a sexual response to her. I became just as flustered, confused, embarrassed, and humiliated as I could ever be. I couldn't think of what to do or say to get her off my lap. And I never forgave myself for not knowing how to handle it until I became experienced enough of people to realize what kind of person would do such a thing.
 

Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
I just heard a sexist remark on the radio.
Obama was speaking about how we cannot allow the killing of women & children in Syria.
Hey! What are we...chopped liver!?

Anyway, before y'all start screaming "False equivalence!" cuz women have it so much worse,
it is still sexism nonetheless, & it is dang near an every day utterance. Of course, there've been
real & deadly consequences to such an attitude, eg, more men dying in Viet Nam than wimins.
 
Last edited:

DreadFish

Cosmic Vagabond
Ok, I have one innocent, if not misinformed, question that is in no way meant to be inflammatory.

So, with that set up :D

Are some of these experiences really sexism, or could they be better described as harassment?

I wouldn't consider it sexism that a car of guys make calls and comments about the attractiveness of a girl, I would consider it stupidity on the part of the males and potential harassment depending on the degree of vulgarity of the remarks.

Males like female bodies, add in the stupidity and lack of tact that a lot of people possess and you get an obnoxious remark about how sexy a random girl is. So, im not discounting that the situation can be uncomfortable and even potentially threatening, im saying that I wouldn't define is as sexism.

Taking into account Sunstone's remark about assuming something shouldn't be offensive to someone else based on my own experiences, as well as echoing Badran's remark, I would say that, while I understand that other's may not share my point of view, I would be flattered if a car of girls yelled sexually charged remarks at me and asked me to wave at them :D

So anyway, sexism is descrimination based on sex. While it could be argued that the guys in the given situation wouldn't say the same thing to a man (unless they were gay guys), I wouldn't say that constitutes sexism. It's potentially harassment, based on the severity of the remarks, and harassment should be treated as harassment regardless of one's sex, but I wouldn't consider it sexism.

Now, if someone would give me a cigarette before the firing squad opens up :D
 

Debater Slayer

Vipassana
Staff member
Premium Member
I just heard a sexist remark on the radio.
Obama was speaking about how we cannot allow the killing of women & children in Syria.
Hey! What are we...chopped liver!?

Anyway, before y'all start screaming "False equivalence!" cuz women have it so much worse,
it is still sexism nonetheless, & it is dang near an every day utterance. Of course, there've been
real & deadly consequences to such an attitude, eg, more men dying in Viet Nam than wimins.

I think the practice of mentioning women together in the same group with children and excluding men (who may also be non-combatant) is a sign of treating males as the sole "warrior" gender, which I believe is a sexist and outdated viewpoint.
 

DallasApple

Depends Upon My Mood..
At that point I should have left and gone to the principle or something, but I was in some kind of shock where I just didn't want to move, didn't want anyone to look at me, and still didn't want to make a scene.

Penumbra that's the thing.The should of's could of's ...You handled it the best way you knew how..the guys an ***(actually a predator)..he took advantage or your friendliness and your fear of making a big deal out of "nothing" I gaurantee he new you were in shock too.I reacted the exact same way the first time and the 20th the time.Probably because the first time I was 4 so I got stuck.Like a deer in the lights.I still to this day have to gather all my guts to be direct if I'm uncomfortable with someone who is crossing the line .Its a fear thing.Anger comes later.And self blaming.
 

Sunstone

De Diablo Del Fora
Premium Member
Are some of these experiences really sexism, or could they be better described as harassment?

I'd personally describe them as harassment. Sexism, to me, is discrimination based on sex. But I think it's easy enough to go along with how "sexism" is being used in this thread.

Taking into account Sunstone's remark...

Now you're on dangerous grounds, Dreadfish. Dangerous grounds! You've been on this Forum long enough to know better than to take into account any remarks made by that Sunstone fellow. Jebbers! What's next? Praising creationists for their being well informed?

...while I understand that other's may not share my point of view, I would be flattered if a car of girls yelled sexually charged remarks at me and asked me to wave at them :D

That's your prerogative, so far as I'm concerned. And I'll actually defend your right to take their remarks however you want.

So anyway, sexism is descrimination based on sex. While it could be argued that the guys in the given situation wouldn't say the same thing to a man (unless they were gay guys), I wouldn't say that constitutes sexism. It's potentially harassment, based on the severity of the remarks, and harassment should be treated as harassment regardless of one's sex, but I wouldn't consider it sexism.

Again, I think you and I define our terms similarly. But I don't see any real harm done when someone uses "sexism" to mean what you and I would mean by "harassment". Just so long as he or she makes their usage clear enough. And I think the OP makes the usage clear enough in this case.

Now, if someone would give me a cigarette before the firing squad opens up :D

All good and reasonable points, in my opinion. I shall need to search for other grounds on which to take offense at your many alarming posts.
 

DallasApple

Depends Upon My Mood..
Are some of these experiences really sexism, or could they be better described as harassment?

If I had to pick? Harrassment..but maybe it comes from sexism?A sense of entitlement?
 

Sunstone

De Diablo Del Fora
Premium Member
I think the practice of mentioning women together in the same group with children and excluding men (who may also be non-combatant) is a sign of treating males as the sole "warrior" gender, which I believe is a sexist and outdated viewpoint.


Agreed.
 

DallasApple

Depends Upon My Mood..
Oh and by the way Penumbra I'm sorry that happened to you .He had no right to do that.I know you know that but still I feel the desire to validate you.
 

DallasApple

Depends Upon My Mood..
I think the practice of mentioning women together in the same group with children and excluding men (who may also be non-combatant) is a sign of treating males as the sole "warrior" gender, which I believe is a sexist and outdated viewpoint.

I agree..I caught my self today..I was discussing this with my husband and I said "innocent women and children little babies... ...then I caught myself and I said "and old men"..then I stuttered and I said ..and YOUNG men too are being killed.I guess the middle aged men are screwed?

I think the whole "women and children" thing is probably because historically they have less likely to have been warriors as in physical combat.And they are seen as "weaker" (less able to defend themselves).
 
Top