RF Every day sexism

[Rakhel]

I was talking to a friend the other day about my 7 year old. She is beautiful and smart and athletic.
I can see her as a model or a ballerina. Not a singer. She has my mother's voice. Can't carry a tune in a bucket.
But I could also see her playing football. Not soccer but football and not the women's football but FOOTBALL. Catching the ball and dodging LT and RT and running to make a goal. And I'm in the stands with her siblings and her father and we're yelling "THAT'S OUR BABY GIRL!!!!"
and after the game, after she has run the winning touch down, I can see her going to the locker room with the rest of the guys, showering off, having a good laugh at the other team's expense(They got beat by a girl!! AHAHA!!!), donning her tiara and her gown and heading to the next pageant of the next lucky lady to become the next Ms. _________.
A girl can dream can't she...

 

[Penumbra]

Does it matter? Penumbra and dgirl have made it clear that any discussion of attractiveness of a woman among men at work would make them uncomfortable, regardless of context or whether the conversation was intended for or directed towards them.

It's like being talked about like a piece of meat in a professional environment, the various body parts in detail, physical flaws and good points openly discussed, not just something like, "We have a new engineer today, cute girl" or something. It doesn't make a good impression that professional skills are going to be taken as seriously.

The same would happen in reverse if there were all women with a new co worker being male and they found him sexually relevant enough.

Except the women here don't do that.

do you find hereosexuality sexist?

That has nothing to do with treating co-workers professionally. When "female" and "breasts" and "legs" are the main points of a new employee, the skills are being considered less relevant than her body.

 

[DallasApple]

Speaking of male work spaces.Time after time I would go to the tech room to check on the progress of an order..and the techs were huddled around looking at porn.Once I went in and in my line of vision was a woman having sex with a donkey ..or a horse I'm not sure.I was utterly shocked and I felt completely humiliated I had to stand there and interact with them with that image right there in front to me.One of those same guys later ..I had on a shirt that laced up the front..(picture the lace of a sneaker) and it was tied at the top.I was discussing something with him and he just reached out and pulled the end of the lace untying it.

On ANOTHER occassion same company different techs different location.The area for them was in the open and for whatever juvenile reason they had pinned or taped a tampon (that had been removed from the applicator) to the billboard where they kept orders pinned to.

 

[DallasApple]

That has nothing to do with treating co-workers professionally. When "female" and "breasts" and "legs" are the main points of a new employee, the skills are being considered less relevant than her body.
__________________

You can see it in the media with our female politicians too.It is far more frequently you hear comments on her appearance overall.Or what she is wearing.If she looks like she has gained weight..etc...

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Speaking of male work spaces.Time after time I would go to the tech room to check on the progress of an order..and the techs were huddled around looking at porn.Once I went in and in my line of vision was a woman having sex with a donkey ..or a horse I'm not sure.I was utterly shocked and I felt completely humiliated I had to stand there and interact with them with that image right there in front to me.One of those same guys later ..I had on a shirt that laced up the front..(picture the lace of a sneaker) and it was tied at the top.I was discussing something with him and he just reached out and pulled the end of the lace untying it.

On ANOTHER occassion same company different techs different location.The area for them was in the open and for whatever juvenile reason they had pinned or taped a tampon (that had been removed from the applicator) to the billboard where they kept orders pinned to.

wow you have a been through a lot :group:

 

[DallasApple]

Only because he wouldn't mind a bunch of women doing that to him doesn't make penumbra's experience less valid.

Or if he wouldn't mind that a bunch of men were doing it to his wife in front of him.It still wouldn't make his wife's experience less valid if it upset her.

 

[Penumbra]

A study was conducted in Italy on Ambivalent Sexism. I found the below rather interesting

I'm not done with the paper. yet but thought it fit here.
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That is an interesting study, and it also discusses other studies as background.

"Yet, because benevolent sexism is not clearly recognizable as a form of prejudice, it is more difficult to combat than hostile attitude. In the end, the consequences of BS can be even more pernicious than those exerted by explicitly hostile sexism as demonstrated in a growing body of research."

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Or if he wouldn't mind that a bunch of men were doing it to his wife in front of him.It still wouldn't make his wife's experience less valid if it upset her.

wwwoooaahhhh now you're taking it to far, they have to respect the husband.

 

[DallasApple]

wow you have a been through a lot :group:

Part of that is I worked during a time before sexual harassment in the workplace had been taken seriously by the majority.I have not even described everything.Including I have been downright groped more than once.Experiencing sexism and sexual harrasment for me started in school..and continued in the workplace starting when I was 15 (my first job my 30 year old manager).From late 70's to early 90's ...

 

[DallasApple]

wwwoooaahhhh now you're taking it to far, they have to respect the husband.

No they don't.If he happens to not like it or think its horrible they do not have to agree with him.If a bunch of men are enjoying themselves rating another man's wife's tits and *** in the workplace and he's offended? They do not have to agree there is anything wrong with it.He just needs to stop being so sensitive.She is after all there.And she is a female .Its their right to have discussions about her female body parts if they want to.Its all in good fun.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

No they don't.If he happens to not like it or think its horrible they do not have to agree with him.If a bunch of men are enjoying themselves rating another man's wife's tits and *** in the workplace and he's offended? They do not have to agree there is anything wrong with it.He just needs to stop being so sensitive.She is after all there.And she is a female .Its their right to have discussions about her female body parts if they want to.Its all in good fun.

It's also natural sexual attraction to rate someone's body parts on a scale on 1-10, in inappropriate situations. It is apart of nature; natural instinct. When males are coming out the birth canal the natural fluids are absorbed by the skin which contributes to him being a douche bag later on in life.

 

[DallasApple]

It's also natural sexual attraction to rate someone's body parts on a scale on 1-10, in inappropriate situations. It is apart of nature; natural instinct. When males are coming out the birth canal the natural fluids are absorbed by the skin which contributes to him being a douche bag later on in life.

You better watch out.Sounds like a man hating thing to say.Hate speech is against the rules here.

 

[Revoltingest]

You better watch out.Sounds like a man hating thing to say.Hate speech is against the rules here.

We staff cut women more slack, since they've less control over what they say....hormones & emotions, ya know.
(And yes, I secretly joined staff. It's so secret, that the staff don't even know it.)

 

[DallasApple]

I have another one.At the time I had no idea it was a little sexist.My 5th grade math teacher.He would have contests drilling us on speed and accuracy of our basic multiplication skills.But he divided us males against females.Lined us up.Gave the first person in each line the problem whoever answered first won and they both each went to the back of the line then the next in line etc....If (or when) the girls were in the lead..he would shame the boys /encourage them not to let a bunch of girls beat them.Come boys...you're better than that!

 

[Penumbra]

There was a fairly new employee at work a couple of years ago and she had a project where she had to repeatedly use a tool that, over time, can make the muscles of the hands a bit sore.

She started complaining about it, then tried to get this guy to do it, saying that it's a "man's job", that she doesn't want to make her hands rough, etc.

I guess I felt like being a subtle troll that day, so I came over, asked her to hand me the tool, and after she did I said I'd help her out and get it done pretty quickly because I use that tool all the time. If I recall at that point, she said she'd do it (seeing as how she was complaining it wasn't good for a woman to do and then another woman came and said she does it all the time and will get it done, which is embarrassing), but I was like, "No no, rest your hand for now- I'll get it done this time since I don't really feel like sitting at the computer anymore today anyway and my hands are fresh." and finished it.

Now she uses the tool herself whenever she needs to.

 

[Rakhel]

when I was little, when computers were first made public(it was an Apple), my father tried to get me into programming. I wasn't great but I always had an interest.As I grew older and due to our finances, we couldn't afford a computer so I was left to learn either at the library or at school.
Well, i remember on year during one of those paid summer programs for youth(you know the ones. They teach you interview skills and how to write a resume and pay you for your time), we were asked what kind of job we were looking for.
They wanted three but I could only think of two that I was interested in. Baby sitting or computer programing. When the guy that was instruction the class looked at my paper, he laughed. He didn't say that I was a girl and couldn't do it...well maybe he did but not in those words exactly.
It was along the lines of, that's a lot of schooling, can't have kids and be a programmer.

My mother was always doing similar things. You can be anything you want to be but_____. Though in all fairness, she did the same to my brother.

 

[Alceste]

Seems like Professionalism 101: Don't talk about your co-workers boobs at work.

Maybe if you're 13 and it's your first ever job at McDonald's and you literally can not stop thinking about your manager's boobs, and you're painfully awkward and lacking in self-awareness and decorum, it might be OK to mention them in passing - or at least understandable.

But adults in a professional workplace should not behave like awkward teenagers.

 

[HiddenDjinn]

Maybe if you're 13 and it's your first ever job at McDonald's and you literally can not stop thinking about your manager's boobs, and you're painfully awkward and lacking in self-awareness and decorum, it might be OK to mention them in passing - or at least understandable.

But adults in a professional workplace should not behave like awkward teenagers.

Spoken by someone with no concept of male spaces or male social dynamic.

 

[Alceste]

No they don't.If he happens to not like it or think its horrible they do not have to agree with him.If a bunch of men are enjoying themselves rating another man's wife's tits and *** in the workplace and he's offended? They do not have to agree there is anything wrong with it.He just needs to stop being so sensitive.She is after all there.And she is a female .Its their right to have discussions about her female body parts if they want to.Its all in good fun.

Yeah, the fact that a couple of the guys in here think having huddle with your man friends to discuss and rate various body parts of every new female who walks into the office is normal heterosexual behavior amazes me. What are they, 12?

 

[Rakhel]

Yeah, the fact that a couple of the guys in here think having huddle with your man friends to discuss and rate various body parts of every new female who walks into the office is normal heterosexual behavior amazes me. What are they, 12?

Or even this