Seriously...What are the Perks of Dating You?

[Revoltingest]

Nobody has ever referred to me as a fetch'n hunk'o manliness, and I'm unsure whether to be flattered or scared. I'm going to go with scared just to make it exciting.

On the internet, we're all dashingly handsome or stunningly beautiful.
(Except for me. I aspire to be adequate.)

 

[NewChapter]

What are the perks of dating you? I know a question like that is low hanging fruit to anyone with three brain cells firing all at once, and thus it would be easy to take the question humorously, but if you absolutely must do so, then please also take the question seriously. I'm genuinely curious what you bring to a date.

I don't date. Fornicating is something that has always been not good to me.

My wife would enjoy someone who loves to give cunnilingus.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

What are the perks of dating you? I know a question like that is low hanging fruit to anyone with three brain cells firing all at once, and thus it would be easy to take the question humorously, but if you absolutely must do so, then please also take the question seriously. I'm genuinely curious what you bring to a date.

I am honest about my intentions and my limits. And if it works with you and we have shared interests then there's bliss, fun, conversation, and lots of sexy time. If it doesn't, I leave you alone.

 

[Digital_Monk]

On the internet, we're all dashingly handsome or stunningly beautiful.
(Except for me. I aspire to be adequate.)

It's nice that you have aspirations of adequacy. I have delusions of adequacy sometimes.

 

[LuisDantas]

I remembered something: there would be a lot of availability of free HTML coding on the spot, if one is into that kind of thing.

Comics trivia, too. And considerable availability for board games and tabletop RPG.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

Being in close physical proximity to me for extended periods has been shown to permanently raise one's IQ by 20-30 points. Also, my semen cures cancer and eliminates cellulite.

 

[Akivah]

As a man's man, I have a really big _________

You know, that thing that all women are interested in...
.
.
.
.
.
.

Obviously, a wallet.

 

[Revoltingest]

I have a Wonder Wallet (as seen on TV).
It's great for organizing many cards.
Only one problem...
Not enuf money in it.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

I have a Wonder Wallet (as seen on TV).
It's great for organizing many cards.
Only one problem...
Not enuf money in it.

Does anyone still carry money?

 

[Revoltingest]

Does anyone still carry money?

I still carry "freedom dollars".
They fun to get, to hold, to fondle, & to spend.
And Uncle Sam can't track them.

 

[Milton Platt]

What are the perks of dating you? I know a question like that is low hanging fruit to anyone with three brain cells firing all at once, and thus it would be easy to take the question humorously, but if you absolutely must do so, then please also take the question seriously. I'm genuinely curious what you bring to a date.

Well, I'm married, so if you are a Christian, you would get to see Jesus soon, because my wife would kill you.

 

[Digital_Monk]

Well, to inject just a bit of seriousness into my answer, here are some good/bad about dating me:

Good: I am fiercely loyal. I've never cheated on anyone. I have a slightly warped/dark but funny sense of humor. I am talented in a lot of areas. I'm self-reliant so I don't need a mommy. I clean up pretty nice and I make decent arm-candy when I need to. I can and do dance. I'm able to hold an intelligent conversation and I can be a good listener. If you can manage to seduce me, I'm not a disappointment at all, but it's a LOT of work to get me in bed.

Bad: I have no self-confidence whatsoever. I am self-loathing. I really am frigid physically - I think I'm asexual. I've had chronic depression for the last 20 years and it is just barely under control. I don't handle stress well. I don't like to talk about "the future", and I don't like relationships being anything more than casual-yet-monogamous. I don't want kids...ever. I tend to be neglectful and will put my hobbies and my work above a relationship most of the time.