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Sex or Love

Revoltingest

Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
NobodyYouKnow said:
Just some basic ones (I don't want to set a precedent):
Sit facing each other (about 2ft apart), just gazing into each other's eyes for the longest time - do Trataka (focused dhyan) on your partner's eyes for 15-20 minutes.
During that time, synchronise your breathing, gaze into each other's eyes and breathe together, slowing it right down as you do so...feel all the natural rhythms of your partner's body flowing through their breath.
Take your time. Tantric Sex is all about holding it back until you just can't anymore - the longer the better - if you don't climax at all, even better still.
After gazing and slowing down the breath, Start with exploration, just asexual exploration of your partner's body...their hair...their fingertips...their toenails...softly caress every square inch very slowly ('slowly' is the key word in all of this).
As you caress their body, concentrate on the exchange of vibration and energy through your hands, tongue etc...don't give in to desire...don't give into lust. Tantric Sex is the biggest tease out there...the foreplay can last for hours...
*and that's all I can say. lol
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That would take forever.
I can get the job done in 5 minutes.
 
dawny0826

dawny0826

Mother Heathen
Never been very interested in sex with people I didn't have an emotional connection with. I can't say that I've been in love with everyone that I've had sex with, but, I have cared for each person. The sexual experience was more to me than a mere physical experience, which added value.

I couldn't have sex without love or emotional connection because my body doesn't respond well without emotional connection. If a partner doesn't stimulate me emotionally and intellectually but attempts to come on to me physically, my first impulse is to smack the **** out of them.

Sex with my husband is passionate and so much more than a physical experience because of the feelings we share for one another.
 
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Penumbra

Penumbra

Veteran Member
Premium Member
oldbadger said:
Thank heavens for that. At last! The first mention of 'making love' that I have read on this forum in 1.5 years. Maybe I wasn't reading the right threads,...?

Everybody seems to be 'having sex', or thinking of it, or talking of it. At the point where both lovers becomes focused on sending their partner as far as possible into total ecstasy, a new condition 'becomes', and the couple make love. And it is wonderful (for me) beyond any 'sex' I ever had.
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You know, people can call the same thing by different names. Not everybody draws some hard line between two types of sex, and calls one of them by that specific name of "making love".

Some people "make love" as described and still call it sex. Or sleeping together.

(I'm a bit older than Penumbra)
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Why is this a topic for discussion? lol
 
oldbadger

oldbadger

Skanky Old Mongrel!
NobodyYouKnow said:
Totally! Absolutely!

Then, when you are lost in that love, in a moment of passion, there is no more physical separation of lover and beloved. Heartbeat, breath, body merge as one and love becomes the product of itself, lost to the realms of the Infinite.

To join with another soul through the physical act of lovemaking is a total joy beyond compare. It goes way beyond lust and carnal desire - I mean they are very nice to feel as a 'by product' of it, but it's not the driving force - love is.

In the total immersion in love's embrace, one can also merge with God (can't do that by just 'having sex').

At first, I felt a bit uncomfortable talking about all this - then I saw how ironic it was that a Tantrika felt all embarrassed to discuss her sexuality...
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Brilliant post. What else to write? :)
 
Sunstone

Sunstone

De Diablo Del Fora
Premium Member
Casual one-night stands can be fun, but my own experience of them has been uneven. Some have been pretty good, some not so good. Love doesn't seem to have been a factor in the pleasure taken or not. For that, and for other reasons, I'm not a big fan of the notion that love is intrinsically wrapped up in pleasure.
 
oldbadger

oldbadger

Skanky Old Mongrel!
NobodyYouKnow said:
Just some basic ones (I don't want to set a precedent):

Sit facing each other (about 2ft apart), just gazing into each other's eyes for the longest time - do Trataka (focused dhyan) on your partner's eyes for 15-20 minutes.

During that time, synchronise your breathing, gaze into each other's eyes and breathe together, slowing it right down as you do so...feel all the natural rhythms of your partner's body flowing through their breath.

Take your time. Tantric Sex is all about holding it back until you just can't anymore - the longer the better - if you don't climax at all, even better still.

After gazing and slowing down the breath, Start with exploration, just asexual exploration of your partner's body...their hair...their fingertips...their toenails...softly caress every square inch very slowly ('slowly' is the key word in all of this).

As you caress their body, concentrate on the exchange of vibration and energy through your hands, tongue etc...don't give in to desire...don't give into lust. Tantric Sex is the biggest tease out there...the foreplay can last for hours...

*and that's all I can say. lol
Click to expand...

OMG. I'd never heard about 'Tantric', but this is exactly what we do. Every single part from tips if fingers to tips of toes massaged and joints 'worked'. Takes an hour, easily, and that's before anything. On from there, can take ages.
My wife has very close vision, and in the clouds and rain (always always) she stares into my right eye..... apparently it does the most amazing things, and ......

Men have a reputation for being polygamous and gregarious, which is no doubt true, but who else, who else in the world could send me to the places she does? To betray true love is to shatter it into a million fragments in a moment, never to be repaired back to 'as before'.
 
oldbadger

oldbadger

Skanky Old Mongrel!
Penumbra said:
You know, people can call the same thing by different names. Not everybody draws some hard line between two types of sex, and calls one of them by that specific name of "making love".

Some people "make love" as described and still call it sex. Or sleeping together.
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Uummmmm..... yeahhh...... ummm .....no.
In different languages, of course, but I don't think that many words can equal the experience...... there may be some others, but 'sex' rings more of 'we had a good sh-g', sort of description. (IMO!)
I love that description 'sleeping together'......... When we make love we do not sleep....:)

Why is this a topic for discussion? lol
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Ages? I dunno. I just wondered what chinu's age was. He's so deep that I thought he was an ancient sage. Now I know he's a young sage. :)
Whereas I'm an ancient old fool.... :D
 
NobodyYouKnow

NobodyYouKnow

Misanthropist
oldbadger said:
Then you have not lived......
Unless you once could do as described by 'nobodyyouknow', and for some dreadful reason lost all.....
.......truly
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So true. Those who have honestly felt this, have really 'made love' and not just 'had sex'.

The love that a couple 'makes' goes way beyond their individual contribution.

....then again, I make guys like revolt go totally insane. ;)
 
oldbadger

oldbadger

Skanky Old Mongrel!
NobodyYouKnow said:
So true. Those who have honestly felt this, have really 'made love' and not just 'had sex'.

The love that a couple 'makes' goes way beyond their individual contribution.
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Yes...... I have read that Kahlil Gibran was a difficult partner, but his description in 'The Prophet' is just about perfect. He writes of those who cannot commit totally:-
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure. Then it is better for you that you....... pass out of love's threshing floor, into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

....then again, I make guys like revolt go totally insane. ;)
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It could be too late? Who knows? :D
 
oldbadger

oldbadger

Skanky Old Mongrel!
saint_frankenstein said:
So jealous of NobodyYouKnow and Oldbadger.
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Don't be...... I was lonely for most of my days, and then bumped into Mrs B when I was 43yrs. I might not appreciate what we have now, so much, if I had not felt the alone-ness for so long.

Everybody needs to get to like themselves, and know themselves as much as possible....... first. ...... and to value their gifts.
Gifts?
Some are born with intelligence.
Some with great strength.
Some with amazing artistic ability.
Some are just naturally happy.
Some are considered beautiful.
Some have amazing initiative.
Some have common sense.
Some are born rich.
Some just bump into a 'lover'.

Count your blessings. On RF, we know that you already have many.
 
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