Should I just give up? :(

[Truth_Faith13]

Lets have some facts about me - I am 22years old almost 23, 5ft 11 and currently approaching 18stone. I have several things on my mind and unfortunately to say this will probably turn out to be my rant thread. My main problem at the moment is my weight.

Being obese is so depressing! I have never known a life without weight apart from 3 short months when I managed to shift 5stone in my teens. I soon piled the pounds back on though as they seem very eager to find me. I was never too good at hide and seek! :sarcastic. Anyway I am not the overweight person who locks herself in her room, I am lucky in that I have very good friends, have an average social life especially since attending Church where there are some great people, I have a decent educational background getting a 2.2 in my degree. So I do have good points in my life, but my weight just weighs down on all the good! . I wish I could be slim again! I have tried every diet under the sun, and I am quite good in the gym once I actually get off my *** and get there! I have a diet which I really enjoy doing. It is called the Cambridge Diet which is a shakes only diet. I know it sounds extreme but it is perfectly healthy, has all the nutrients and vitamins you need and has the fast weight loss that keeps me going. The only problem is I have such an "addiction" to food at the moment, that I cant even get myself to eat at a normal level never mind getting onto a no food diet for the 6months I would need to get to a healthy weight!

I am starting to give up on the prospect of ever being slim and healthy and finding a boyfriend/future husband and therefore one day having children. My dream life seems to be passing me by. My favourite quote is life is what happens when you are busy making other plans. All through my teens, my 21st was my big goal. To have my weight and health sorted for my 21st birthday. Although I was a slimmer 15st 7lbs for my 21st, that day came and went in the blink of an eye and it is now almost two years on and I am even heavier and further away from my target! . I have blood pressure on top of my weight which means I have to take betablockers. My consultant tells me I will be on these for the rest of my life regardless of losing weight as the BP is due to my kidney being damaged but I am not so sure and am sure if I could just lose the weight, I could live a tablet free life! I am terrified of just being obese for the rest of my life and eventually being on my own. Of course I have lots of friends, but they will one day be married and will start families and will then start to settle down and be too busy for the single life socialising that we do at the moment.

I also worry about what other people think about my weight - why are they looking at me? is it because I am fat? they are probably thinking lazy person who eats too much? I watch people run and jump all over each other, sit on peoples laps and I think I cannot do that because I would squash someone. There was a story of an overweight accountant who squashed his assistant by sitting on him because he was obese in the news when i was at school - made us laugh at the time! I want to go and jump on guys (not in that way) and for them to lift me up over their shoulder like the other girls do, instead of me doing it to the other girls like some guy!)

I just wish I wasnt so weak and I could get on the diet!
I really do feel like just giving up sometimes!

 

[Katzpur]

You've got to start by enlightening all of us on the other side of the pond. Most of us -- including me -- don't have a clue as to how much a stone is.

 

[Ringer]

You've got to start by enlightening all of us on the other side of the pond. Most of us -- including me -- don't have a clue as to how much a stone is.

I was wondering the same thing.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

You've got to start by enlightening all of us on the other side of the pond. Most of us -- including me -- don't have a clue as to how much a stone is.

14 pounds.

I couldn't remember myself, so I looked it up.

 

[Truth_Faith13]

You've got to start by enlightening all of us on the other side of the pond. Most of us -- including me -- don't have a clue as to how much a stone is.

haha. right. sorry! hmm 1stone is 14lbs.

 

[DallasApple]

((((HUGS))))...

Im sorry you are feeling down..

I know it doesnt feel this way now but you are sooo young still..You have your whole life in front of you...

Also with your weight struggle..Please stop looking at from the angle you need to get in shape so you can find a man..Or that a man will want you...you need to work on it for you...

And as far as men go..Im nto saying physical attraction is not a factor..But there are men out there that will fidn you beautiful no matter what..Im not trying to sound corny..But from the men I know..your personality is was endears you to their hearts..Also what is the most attracitve feature?? Is self confidence..desperation and neediness is not a quality that men or women find alluring..

(((HUGS))))

Love

Dallas

 

[Quagmire]

...I just wish I wasnt so weak and I could get on the diet!
I really do feel like just giving up sometimes!

It's not about being weak or strong, Dream Angel, it's about understanding yourself and the causes behind the lifestyle choices you make (and beating yourself up only makes that harder).

I've known a lot of people who've had a lot of success by joining Overeaters Anonymous. Seriously; I worked at a facility that hosted 12 step meetings for the various programs and I'll tell you what; me and all the other workers always looked forward to the O.A. meeting crowd coming in . The women were the most consistently gorgeous (and easily the nicest) of any of the group members.

 

[DallasApple]

O.K so your 5'11 and weigh around 250lbs it sounds like?

So of course for your health you should be working on that..

But dont ever understimate your sweetness..I've read your posts..And you seem to be so sweet and innocent..Try not to be so critical of yourself..

Love

Dallas

 

[Truth_Faith13]

It's not about being weak or strong, Dream Angel, it's about understanding yourself and the causes behind the lifestyle choices you make (and beating yourself up only makes that harder).

I've known a lot of people who've had a lot of success by joining Overeaters Anonymous. Seriously; I worked at a facility that hosted 12 step meetings for the various programs and I'll tell you what; me and all the other workers always looked forward to the O.A. meeting crowd coming in . The women were the most consistently gorgeous (and easily the nicest) of any of the group members.

I don't think that exists in the UK! See the great thing about America, is you have all these fat camps etc, we dont have any of those things out of here. Unless you have a BMI over 40 (mine is 36) you are on your own!

 

[Truth_Faith13]

O.K so your 5'11 and weigh around 250lbs it sounds like?

So of course for your health you should be working on that..

But dont ever understimate your sweetness..I've read your posts..And you seem to be so sweet and innocent..Try not to be so critical of yourself..

Love

Dallas

Thanks Dallas! I try not to be critical, and focus on the good things but then my weight just gets worse. Its difficult!

 

[Quagmire]

I don't think that exists in the UK! See the great thing about America, is you have all these fat camps etc, we dont have any of those things out of here. Unless you have a BMI over 40 (mine is 36) you are on your own!

I'd bet that if you googled O.A. in the U.K. you'd find something. All the 12 step meetings are autonomous (and free).

I know they have A.A. and N.A. over there, so I would guess they have O.A. too.

 

[Katzpur]

14 pounds.

I couldn't remember myself, so I looked it up.

Thank you! Actually, that's the number that stuck in my head, but I didn't trust my memory.

Okay, Angel Girl, I've never had a real weight problem, but during the last ten and a half months, I've lost 25 pounds. (While I'm on the subject, that "stone" business strikes me as a pretty unprecise way of measuring weight. Do you guys break it down into units like 1.75 stone or anything like that?)

Here's my advice to you. It's good advice, I promise. I would we willing to bet that you will lose some weight if you follow it.

1. Be patient. I don't know what your goal weight is, but look how long it took me to lose what I did. Weight never comes off fast and stays off. If you take it off quickly, you'll gain it back quickly, too. If you take it off slowly (and I know it's very hard to not get impatient), it's much more likely to stay off permanently. Think long-term. It's the only way.

2. Go on a diet that you can live with forever. Weight-watchers is great (although I didn't use it, I have had experience with it) and will allow you the flexibility to eat the foods you crave. You aren't going to want to live on shakes forever. They will not offer you a permanent solution to your problem, only a "band-aid" that will fall off sooner or later.

3. Try to eat your last meal of the day as early as you can. Don't go to bed on a full stomach and don't snack all evening, even if it's on healthy foods. I try to eat no later than 7:00 P.M. When I eat much later than that, I always put on the weight. If you feel like having a bigger meal occasionally, do it midday, not in the evening.

Good luck! You can do this, you know.

 

[Quagmire]

Here ya go;

overeaters anoymous great britain

 

[Truth_Faith13]

Here ya go;

overeaters anoymous great britain

Yeah, I just googled it thanks!

 

[Quagmire]

Yeah, I just googled it thanks!

Like I say, I'd seriously recomend this program. If for no other reason, the people I met seemed like a really fun crowd (and it works).

I don't know anybody who doesn't qualify for one 12 step program or another.

 

[Truth_Faith13]

Thank you! Actually, that's the number that stuck in my head, but I didn't trust my memory.

Okay, Angel Girl, I've never had a real weight problem, but during the last ten and a half months, I've lost 25 pounds. (While I'm on the subject, that "stone" business strikes me as a pretty unprecise way of measuring weight. Do you guys break it down into units like 1.75 stone or anything like that?)

Here's my advice to you. It's good advice, I promise. I would we willing to bet that you will lose some weight if you follow it.

1. Be patient. I don't know what your goal weight is, but look how long it took me to lose what I did. Weight never comes off fast and stays off. If you take it off quickly, you'll gain it back quickly, too. If you take it off slowly (and I know it's very hard to not get impatient), it's much more likely to stay off permanently. Think long-term. It's the only way.

2. Go on a diet that you can live with forever. Weight-watchers is great (although I didn't use it, I have had experience with it) and will allow you the flexibility to eat the foods you crave. You aren't going to want to live on shakes forever. They will not offer you a permanent solution to your problem, only a "band-aid" that will fall off sooner or later.

3. Try to eat your last meal of the day as early as you can. Don't go to bed on a full stomach and don't snack all evening, even if it's on healthy foods. I try to eat no later than 7:00 P.M. When I eat much later than that, I always put on the weight. If you feel like having a bigger meal occasionally, do it midday, not in the evening.

Good luck! You can do this, you know.

Thanks Katz!

We use stones and pounds. So I am actually 17stone 11lbs. Which is 4lb away from 18stone. If people want to be really picky (which I am not to this extent) we use ounces as well. I once had a pair of scales that told me I was 17stone 11lbs 3oz for example. 16oz to a pound.

You do give very good advice. I have done weight watchers in the past. I cant get on with it. The weight loss is so slow and I don't like the clapping and over exaggeration of losing 3oz or something! One of the reasons I struggle so much emotionally is because I know how to lose weight, I just cant do it. I have also done in that many times before I havent got that intital excitement of doing something new which I had the last time I lost weight.

The Cambridge does teach you health eating as well, my counsellor (which is one on one) is a doctor too so she is good to speak to. They do it in stages. You do sole source, just shakes until your goal weight or a BMI of 25. whichever is heavier. Then they move to something similar to slimfast - shakes and a meal and slowly start reintroducing food.

Thanks for your support!

 

[Truth_Faith13]

Like I say, I'd seriously recomend this program. If for no other reason, the people I met seemed like a really fun crowd (and it works).

I don't know anybody who doesn't qualify for one 12 step program or another.

I definitely need to go. There are 15 questions and it says

"Have you answered yes to three or more of these questions? If so, it is probable that you have or are well on your way to having a compulsive overeating problem. We have found that the way to arrest this progressive disease is to practice the Twelve-Step recovery program of Overeaters Anonymous."

Well I answered yes to 13 out of the 15!

The 12 steps seem very religious.

 

[Katzpur]

I have done weight watchers in the past. I cant get on with it. The weight loss is so slow and I don't like the clapping and over exaggeration of losing 3oz or something!

LOL! Yeah, I remember that. That seemed really stupid to me, too. But my advice about losing more slowly still stands. You will keep the weight off more easily if you lose it more slowing and that's a fact. Overeaters Anonymous sounds like a great option for you. I'm rooting for you!

 

[Quagmire]

I definitely need to go. There are 15 questions and it says

"Have you answered yes to three or more of these questions? If so, it is probable that you have or are well on your way to having a compulsive overeating problem. We have found that the way to arrest this progressive disease is to practice the Twelve-Step recovery program of Overeaters Anonymous."

Well I answered yes to 13 out of the 15!

there ya go.

 

[DallasApple]

Thanks Dallas! I try not to be critical, and focus on the good things but then my weight just gets worse. Its difficult!

Oh..Im not trying to minimize the struggle..or simplify it...There are many many that struggle with weight..Because most of it is habit..or can even be an "addiction"

And those arent easy to overcome..mine isnt my weight..but I have my own struggles..

And yes America has a lot of weight loss "programs"...we are FLOODED with ads for products and services to get in shape..Btu we are still one of the fattest nations in the world..

Because no one can do it for you..

I got heavy one tme in my life..Around 30..I had had my 3rd child..butoddly my the bulk of my extra weight I gained AFTER the baby was born..and specifically after I quit nursing (for 14 months)..I ballooned up..I was a size 3 (104lbs) when I got pregnant..And two years later I was a size 10 (140lbs) and Im only 5'2"...

Anyway...Im not kidding..I walked..I pushed my child in his stroller..And eventually I was walking for an hour an a half every single day...I went on a sort of revised(self planned) out Atkins diet..Basically I cut out white sugar..and white flour I ate lean meant (like grilled chicken breast) and lots of fruits and veggies..What you would call "whole foods"....So I cut back to almost zero bread..pasta..or sweets...I didnt need a "program" I just decided and I did it..I lost 25 lbs in 4 months..After that I was just more careful about what I ate..And I kept excersizing just not as frequently...or vigorously...

What you should do..IMHO..is identfy one bad habit..and eliminate that..get used to that..and then identify one more bad habit..eliminate that and get used to it etc....if you dont excersize enough..add in a little excersise..and it doesnt have to be anything elaborate or grueling..Even things that are fun that are good for you..increase those activities..like bowling even..and in my case..strolling around the neighborhood with my baby...

Trying to go on a strict crash diet ..and start exersizing from nothing to lifting weights 5 times a week is overwhelming..And I think thats why so many "fail"..

Love

Dallas