Should I just give up? :(

[Guitar's Cry]

As a guy I will tell you, confidence has much more to do with attractiveness than anything. Weight is irrelevant sometimes (granted, this is from my point of view, but I'm not that abnormal of a guy).

I wish you the best in dealing with this. It took me a long time to come to terms with some of my physical features.

 

[Breathe]

Don't give up! Things are tough now, and it's becoming ever-difficult to lose the pounds for the majority of people, especially since they pile foods with so much crud these days.

You're only 22 years old, you still have a long life ahead of you. You will find a partner, you're a sweet girl. Since the majority of people do not have kids until they're about 29 or so nowadays, you're in any trouble yet! My sister is 30 and still doesn't have kids - I'm the youngest in my close family to have kids, being a parent at 19, but that's because I've known my wife since I was 3/12 to 4 years old.

Just, don't worry You've got a heart of gold, and I'm sure in time you will find a nice guy. As for weight loss, take it slow and steady. If you lose too much at once, you put it back on. My sister managed to lose a fair bit of weight from swimming and not eating chocolate. Why not join a swimming club or something with a friend?

Keep smiling.
Love Odion :hug:

 

[DallasApple]

I agree with Katz too..If you are eating right before bedtime..that would be a "bad habit"..that you could identify and cut that out..If you go to bed at 10:00..dont eat anything after 6..And drink water..

You need to be aware of what your habits are that are causing you to continue to gain..

And weight loss is slow..As it should be..You didnt gain it in a week or two..most peoples weight gain happens over years...gradually...

And again I agree with Katz..starvation diets..or liquid diets are trash..Those are good for someone needing to lose a quick 5 or 10 lbs..But if you need to lose 50 or 75 lbs..Starvation diets are not succesful..and they are unhealthy for you...

You need to eat small ...and frequent..meals..skipping meals and things like that only stump your metablizism...People say " he eats like a bird"?..Yes we should eat like birds..Frequent small meals..And total denial of any "sinfull food" is a no no too...Just way less frequently and smaller portions of fattening foods is the best "long term" plan..

Love

Dallas

 

[Heneni]

Chubby thighs can still give good loving.

Heneni

 

[Truth_Faith13]

Chubby thighs can still give good loving.

Heneni

Hahaha - thanks Heneni!

 

[Truth_Faith13]

Thank-you everyone for your support and kind words!

I wish I had more self-confidence. It is funny because I can sometimes come across as confident in public. I am confident in the business sense of the word If you ask anybody who knows me in "the real world", no-one would say how I really felt, because I generally do not show it.

Its the inside that is churning me up! Unfortunately you guys get the ranting of it! :sorry1:

 

[Heneni]

Thank-you everyone for your support and kind words!

I wish I had more self-confidence. It is funny because I can sometimes come across as confident in public. I am confident in the business sense of the word If you ask anybody who knows me in "the real world", no-one would say how I really felt, because I generally do not show it.

Its the inside that is churning me up! Unfortunately you guys get the ranting of it! :sorry1:

I love your rantings....makes you real. Self-confidence comes with age as well, to a certain extent. It is also wise not to show everything in public. What people dont know, they cant use against you. Pick your friends carefully. Its good to know who to trust.

Nobody can be as good at being you like you. Just keep on giving the world the gift of you, and if they dont appreciate you, its their problem.

Heneni

 

[Phasmid]

My sister has a friend who keeps trying to lose weight. She diets and loses a lot of weight, then treats herself and puts it all back on again. She loses weight while on the diet, but then when she starts eating properly again, her body thinks, "Ah! Better store all this since it'll be a while before I have a good meal again!" and so it's turned into fat.

I'm no expert, but surely a well balanced diet and moderate exercise is all a person needs? It may mean one puts on weight in the short term, but after a while the body should go, "Oh hey, I'm eating normally and can afford not to turn all this into fat".

Like I said, I'm no expert, but it seems reasonable that a balanced diet and moderate exercise is the cure to obesity, not diets.

Also, personally, weight isn't much of an issue for all guys. Some are jerks, some only go for looks, some are far more interested in personality etc. etc. There's someone out there for everyone I'm sure.

 

[DallasApple]

Thank-you everyone for your support and kind words!

I wish I had more self-confidence. It is funny because I can sometimes come across as confident in public. I am confident in the business sense of the word If you ask anybody who knows me in "the real world", no-one would say how I really felt, because I generally do not show it.

Its the inside that is churning me up! Unfortunately you guys get the ranting of it! :sorry1:

You will get there...

And its not "unfortunate" you share your heart..its delightful...

I hate to keep saying this I feel like an old aunt or a grandma or something(which I am...LOL)...you are so young still...and you are sweet with a tender heart..and thats a beautiful thing...

Love

Dallas

 

[Charity]

You should never give up....It is a constant battle for most people who have a tendency to be heavy. Take the weight off slowly....Don't weigh daily as the weight doesn't change at first and it will only depress you. I would weigh about once a week or even go a couple of weeks at first. Be sure you eat your balanced meals according to the diet you choose. If you starve yourself your body tends to hold on to the excess weight and fat because it thinks you are starving, so therefore weight loss will be much slower. Keep yourself well hydrated, this is very important. Also drinking water will keep you from feeling so hungry and will help you from over eating.
Changing your eating habits is the best help when it comes to losing weight. Stay away from fats, learn to bake, broil, and grill your food and lessen your portion size. Stay away from desserts and snacks, but if you do allow yourself a special small porion of your favorite dessert once in a while makes the 'suffering" more tolerable. It will make you feel like your not depriving yourself of everything you like to eat. Sorry I didn't mean to go into such a lengthy post, but I want to give you any suggestions that I have found in the past to help you achieve your goal.
Above all try and keep a positive attitude and I know you will be able to attain your goal. I will be praying for you

 

[Troublemane]

14 pounds.

I couldn't remember myself, so I looked it up.

sory to get off topic...but 9/10th's new avatar is scaring me! :run:

 

[methylatedghosts]

I wonder, Dream_Angel,

Who or what are you building a wall from? Some people are emotional eaters, even if they do not realise it. Building fat is a way of building a wall between the self and something else. So ask yourself what you're building a wall between, and try to break that emotional wall down. My thinking is, if you do that, along with eating healthy, you'll lose weight soon enough. Just remember, that it may take a little while to noticeably lose weight

 

[Nanda]

Some men prefer bigger girls. All I know is that when I was miserable and hated myself (at my thinnest, I might add) I couldn't get a date to save my life, but once I started loving myself, regardless of my size, I've had to beat them off me with a stick. It's all about your attitude, seriously. You could be the skinniest thing in the world, but you can't expect others to like you if you don't even like yourself.

 

[whereismynotecard]

Lets have some facts about me - I am 22years old almost 23, 5ft 11 and currently approaching 18stone. I have several things on my mind and unfortunately to say this will probably turn out to be my rant thread. My main problem at the moment is my weight.

Being obese is so depressing! I have never known a life without weight apart from 3 short months when I managed to shift 5stone in my teens. I soon piled the pounds back on though as they seem very eager to find me. I was never too good at hide and seek! :sarcastic. Anyway I am not the overweight person who locks herself in her room, I am lucky in that I have very good friends, have an average social life especially since attending Church where there are some great people, I have a decent educational background getting a 2.2 in my degree. So I do have good points in my life, but my weight just weighs down on all the good! . I wish I could be slim again! I have tried every diet under the sun, and I am quite good in the gym once I actually get off my *** and get there! I have a diet which I really enjoy doing. It is called the Cambridge Diet which is a shakes only diet. I know it sounds extreme but it is perfectly healthy, has all the nutrients and vitamins you need and has the fast weight loss that keeps me going. The only problem is I have such an "addiction" to food at the moment, that I cant even get myself to eat at a normal level never mind getting onto a no food diet for the 6months I would need to get to a healthy weight!

I am starting to give up on the prospect of ever being slim and healthy and finding a boyfriend/future husband and therefore one day having children. My dream life seems to be passing me by. My favourite quote is life is what happens when you are busy making other plans. All through my teens, my 21st was my big goal. To have my weight and health sorted for my 21st birthday. Although I was a slimmer 15st 7lbs for my 21st, that day came and went in the blink of an eye and it is now almost two years on and I am even heavier and further away from my target! . I have blood pressure on top of my weight which means I have to take betablockers. My consultant tells me I will be on these for the rest of my life regardless of losing weight as the BP is due to my kidney being damaged but I am not so sure and am sure if I could just lose the weight, I could live a tablet free life! I am terrified of just being obese for the rest of my life and eventually being on my own. Of course I have lots of friends, but they will one day be married and will start families and will then start to settle down and be too busy for the single life socialising that we do at the moment.

I also worry about what other people think about my weight - why are they looking at me? is it because I am fat? they are probably thinking lazy person who eats too much? I watch people run and jump all over each other, sit on peoples laps and I think I cannot do that because I would squash someone. There was a story of an overweight accountant who squashed his assistant by sitting on him because he was obese in the news when i was at school - made us laugh at the time! I want to go and jump on guys (not in that way) and for them to lift me up over their shoulder like the other girls do, instead of me doing it to the other girls like some guy!)

I just wish I wasnt so weak and I could get on the diet!
I really do feel like just giving up sometimes!

You have to choose if it is worth it to eat a lot. I love eating, but I think it is worth being healthy and a good weight to not eat as much. It's not always easy, but it's just how it is. You have to either force yourself to not eat as much and to not have as many fattening foods in your diet, or eat whatever you want and just be kind of overweight.

My methods of losing weight, are these:

Stop drinking soda, because I drink too much and that's a lot of sugar
or
Just stop eating as much. Maybe you could try to eat just a little less each time you eat something, and that way you'll get used to not having as big of portions.

I don't try very hard with diets, because I don't care what other people think of me. I feel kind of chubby sometimes, especially right before my period, but that goes away. I'm probably not the best person to give you advice though, because sometimes I have the sudden urge to be really skinny so I don't eat for a few days. That doesn't work though, because you have to eat again eventually, so to just stop eating completely is only going to work until you start eating again...

So... I would say don't give up unless you think that eating a lot is more important than the other things you want.

 

[Worshipper]

I am 22years old almost 23. . . . My dream life seems to be passing me by.

You must have had some pretty high-maintenance dreams, then! At that age, your life is still pretty much completely open and you can go any direction you want with it pretty easily, I think. Olympic class gymnastics is probably out (but at 5'11", that wouldn't be much of an option anyway). Child camel jockeying is also a lost opportunity. But if you have fairly normal dreams, they're probably all still attainable.

I am . . . 5ft 11 and currently approaching 18stone.

That's not really a bad weight in itself for your height. It depends on how you carry it.

I am starting to give up on the prospect of ever . . . finding a boyfriend/future husband and therefore one day having children.

If that's how you feel, then I have to tell you: if it weren't your weight, it would be something else making you feel like giving up hope. The despair is coming from something other than your weight. Whatever that problem is, that's your real problem. Everything I'm about to say concerning weight is really kind of irrelevant.

But okay.

When it comes to attractiveness and body shape, a woman's weight is actually of very little importance. What is important is the hip-to-waist ratio. According to the studies I've read, a woman whose hips are at least 15% bigger around than her waist has a figure that is consistently physically attractive to men. So if you tend to carry your weight more on your hips than you waist (as most women do), then it's actually making you more attractive. Only if your weight is impairing your hip-to-waist ratio should you worry about it in terms of physical attractiveness.

But the most important thing you can do to be attractive is to be attracted. When you are attracted to a man, you give of a host of physical signs of interest. Men pick up on that. Most men are not looking for a woman they have to win over. They're looking for a woman who doesn't represent a great risk of rejection (of course, remember that delay isn't the same as rejection — there's no need to get anywhere close to violating the Law of Chastity for a man to feel like you won't reject him). If you show signs of being attracted to lots of men, men will respond very favorably to you because you don't seem like someone who is likely to reject them.

The best way to seem attracted to lots of men is to actually be attracted to lots of men. Cultivate a strong appreciation for men in general. Nourish that appreciation and let it that light shine. It shouldn't be too hard. We are, after all, created in the image of God.

Until you get there, remember that a good, friendly smile goes miles. Studies have shown that men consistently confuse a smile of friendship from a woman as a sign of sexual interest. If you always give lots of friendly smiles to men, they are almost certain to think that you are interested in them and they will be inclined to reciprocate what they see as your sexual interest. Good, chaste men will, of course, seek the fulfillment of that interest only within the bonds of marriage — but they will definitely seek it!

If you feel determined to lose weight for whatever reason, let me add three tips to those I've read so far.

First, drink plenty of water.

Second, get plenty of exercise. Make sure the exercise is something you enjoy doing, or you won't keep at it. I've found that exercise is more important than diet control.

Third, don't use food for any purpose other than nutrition. It is not an acceptable form of therapy. It's not a good drug. It's not a recreational tool. It's just there to nourish you.

Incidentally, I find I eat a lot less when I chew gum a lot.

Whatever you do, I wish you well! Women your size should be doing more breeding!

 

[blackout]

You have to love yourself first Sweetheart.
You have to be comfortable with yourSelf.
You need to know you are "all that"...
and carry yourSelf as such.

I know I would prefer to weigh less.
But today... this is who I am.

Instead of rejecting mySelf
(today)
in the act of "rejecting my mass"
(or excess)
I choose now to lift my cleavage high
and say...

"I'm A'Lott'a Woman!" :flirt:
and I am.

 

[blackout]

Here is a possible "exercise" for you.

First off go on you tube and look up "High Ball Burlesque".
(I'll find you a link when Im on my puter at home)

These women are older than you yes...
but they are all different body shapes and weights...
and honey... they OWN their sensuality.

They are "All Woman" and they know it.

Perhaps try a bit of burlesque dance at home yourself?
It makes you feel REALLY sexy...
it helps make you very comfortable with your own body...
and
it makes you CARRY yourself differently...
more confidenty
more alluringly.

Touch and embrace your own sexuality/sensuality
and you will own your womanhood.

Men cannot resist that.
They see it, and they sense it.

The burlesque also doubles as low impact "exercise".
It literally... in every way.... changes YOUR body "image".

Eat, exercise, move and live in love Sweetheart.

~Violet~

 

[Truth_Faith13]

I wonder, Dream_Angel,

Who or what are you building a wall from? Some people are emotional eaters, even if they do not realise it. Building fat is a way of building a wall between the self and something else. So ask yourself what you're building a wall between, and try to break that emotional wall down. My thinking is, if you do that, along with eating healthy, you'll lose weight soon enough. Just remember, that it may take a little while to noticeably lose weight

I am definitely an emotional eater, but I eat in all emotions, happy, sad, to celebrate, to comiserate. I am the only person I know who can eat when she is ill!! . At this very moment in time, I dont know what (if any) wall I am building and what it is for!

 

[Truth_Faith13]

You must have had some pretty high-maintenance dreams, then! At that age, your life is still pretty much completely open and you can go any direction you want with it pretty easily, I think. Olympic class gymnastics is probably out (but at 5'11", that wouldn't be much of an option anyway). Child camel jockeying is also a lost opportunity. But if you have fairly normal dreams, they're probably all still attainable.

Lol, no! My goal was to live a healthy life. I know I am still young, but it really upset me when my 21st came and went and I was still big. I had spent the whole of my childhood being overweight, probably obese, was bullied for it at my first school and I was determined not to let it be the same for my young adulthood. Yet I am nearing 23 and still overweight! My uncle is very active and fit and ran the sahara marathon. I would love and have I said I would love to do that. He said he would do it with me once I lost my weight and got fit. So I guess my main issue is not fulfilling things I said I would! In everything else, I am not a quitter, I can give up easily anything else. But food I cant! My Mum said if I put the same effort into staying away from food as I do with alcohol and smoking, I would be fine. But smoking and Alcohol isnt a problem for me, I dont need it, I dont see the need for it and so I am perfectly happy to not have them. Hahahaha. I can remember when i first joined the LDS Church my Mum said that she wished they would add chocolate to the Word of Wisdom, it may do me some good!

That's not really a bad weight in itself for your height. It depends on how you carry it.

In all the places I would prefer not too!

If that's how you feel, then I have to tell you: if it weren't your weight, it would be something else making you feel like giving up hope. The despair is coming from something other than your weight. Whatever that problem is, that's your real problem. Everything I'm about to say concerning weight is really kind of irrelevant..

I cant disagree with you, but I cant agree with you either. When I lost my weight the first time, I was as happy as anything! I can remember having 4guys asking me out in one night! I know its my weight. I am just not happy within myself (although I dont always show it) and also because I am concentrating on my weight, it takes priority over concentrating on men. Like everything else takes priority over men!

But okay.

When it comes to attractiveness and body shape, a woman's weight is actually of very little importance. What is important is the hip-to-waist ratio. According to the studies I've read, a woman whose hips are at least 15% bigger around than her waist has a figure that is consistently physically attractive to men. So if you tend to carry your weight more on your hips than you waist (as most women do), then it's actually making you more attractive. Only if your weight is impairing your hip-to-waist ratio should you worry about it in terms of physical attractiveness.

But the most important thing you can do to be attractive is to be attracted. When you are attracted to a man, you give of a host of physical signs of interest. Men pick up on that. Most men are not looking for a woman they have to win over. They're looking for a woman who doesn't represent a great risk of rejection (of course, remember that delay isn't the same as rejection — there's no need to get anywhere close to violating the Law of Chastity for a man to feel like you won't reject him). If you show signs of being attracted to lots of men, men will respond very favorably to you because you don't seem like someone who is likely to reject them.

The best way to seem attracted to lots of men is to actually be attracted to lots of men. Cultivate a strong appreciation for men in general. Nourish that appreciation and let it that light shine. It shouldn't be too hard. We are, after all, created in the image of God.

Until you get there, remember that a good, friendly smile goes miles. Studies have shown that men consistently confuse a smile of friendship from a woman as a sign of sexual interest. If you always give lots of friendly smiles to men, they are almost certain to think that you are interested in them and they will be inclined to reciprocate what they see as your sexual interest. Good, chaste men will, of course, seek the fulfillment of that interest only within the bonds of marriage — but they will definitely seek it! .

You have a point there. I think the problem isnt men not liking me. Its is more I am VERY fussy with men. My height puts most hurdles in the way. Being 5ft 11 AND wanting a guy to be taller = not very many men! . If I am honest, I am happy being single at moment anyway - I only just had a rather large issue with a guy which turned out nasty so I need a break. I am not actually very fussed about having a man at the moment, as I said before I am more interested in sorting me out first. I know that sounds a little selfish. Which is probably why men dont see me in that way. However I have plenty of male friends who I get on great with!

If you feel determined to lose weight for whatever reason, let me add three tips to those I've read so far.

First, drink plenty of water.

Second, get plenty of exercise. Make sure the exercise is something you enjoy doing, or you won't keep at it. I've found that exercise is more important than diet control.

Third, don't use food for any purpose other than nutrition. It is not an acceptable form of therapy. It's not a good drug. It's not a recreational tool. It's just there to nourish you.

Incidentally, I find I eat a lot less when I chew gum a lot.

Whatever you do, I wish you well! Women your size should be doing more breeding!

Hahahaha! Thanks for the advice! You will probably notice I am in a better mood today! I have days where no matter what happens I just feel blue! :sorry1: and the ranting starts. I like to rant though, gets things off my chest! I just feel sorry for the people who dont necessarily want to hear it! lol!

 

[Worshipper]

I can remember when i first joined the LDS Church my Mum said that she wished they would add chocolate to the Word of Wisdom, it may do me some good!

Actually, the only times that cocoa has been mentioned in General Conference is in conjunction with tea and coffee, and it's mentioned as one of those things that the Word of Wisdom forbids. Those talks are all over 80 years old, and we don't normally consider cocoa to be against the Word of Wisdom today. But if you wanted to interpret it that way for your own life, there'd be good grounds for it!

You have a point there. I think the problem isnt men not liking me. Its is more I am VERY fussy with men.

That explains it all, to my mind. Picky women have a hard time getting picked. But I can understand your position with your height — if you want a man taller than you, you're in a bit of a pickle.

Plenty of tall men here in Utah!