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Shut Up a Proselytizer in Two Minutes

Heyo

Veteran Member
Inspired by @dfnj's OP I was accosted by a couple of Born-again Christians while fishing I like to debate the best methods to get out of a conversation you don't want to have about someone else's religion.

What did you do and was it successful?
My shortest and most successful reply was to two guys knocking at my door with the opening "We want to talk with you about god.".
I looked at them and said, with the most menacing voice I can muster: "Trust me, you don't."

I was surprised how well that worked.
 

Twilight Hue

Twilight, not bright nor dark, good nor bad.
Inspired by @dfnj's OP I was accosted by a couple of Born-again Christians while fishing I like to debate the best methods to get out of a conversation you don't want to have about someone else's religion.

What did you do and was it successful?
As an ex Christian, the best method is to tell them (preferably in your best southern accent) that your already a Bible thumping, baptized and saved brother or sister. God bless their little hearts and wish them many souls that will turn to christ in their blessed endeavors.

Other religions don't proselytize much, except maybe Baha'is, but even they don't go door to door at least in my experience so I don't worry about it much.
 

Debater Slayer

Vipassana
Staff member
Premium Member
More seriously, I've never been in a situation where I've needed to avoid proselytizers, because the default assumption in my country is that you belong to one of two religions (Islam or Christianity), and explicitly proselytizing on the street or in some other public space could get you in legal trouble pretty quickly (and social trouble as well, if you're a non-Muslim even daring to think of convincing a Muslim to leave their religion; that could easily be physically unsafe).

I've had a few people preach to me after finding out that I'm a secularist, but all of them stopped when I indicated disinterest in the conversation. I usually tell people in such situations that I appreciate their concern but that I've spent years thinking about various positions and that I'm comfortable with my current one.

I really do appreciate their concern if they're coming from a place of sincere intentions, because I know exactly how it feels to worry about someone's perceived fate of eternal suffering in Hell. When I had that belief, I sometimes did the same thing to try to "save" people I cared about from ending up in eternal anguish. How could I not try if I had that belief, really? It makes perfect sense within the context of that worldview. I would actually find it more strange if someone had that belief but did not try at all to "save" someone they cared about.
 

Saint Frankenstein

Here for the ride
Premium Member

Stevicus

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
Inspired by @dfnj's OP I was accosted by a couple of Born-again Christians while fishing I like to debate the best methods to get out of a conversation you don't want to have about someone else's religion.

What did you do and was it successful?

My grandmother would sometimes invite door-to-door proselytizers in for coffee and cakes on occasion. She knew her Bible inside and out and corrected them on all their mistakes and misinterpretations. I've known a few others who did the same. One guy I knew brought a Mormon missionary to tears once. He didn't mean to, but apparently this kid's beliefs were so challenged that he fell apart.
 

It Aint Necessarily So

Veteran Member
Premium Member
What did you do and was it successful?
There was a poster whose neighbor was always bothering him about him "knowing Jesus," so before long, he told the neighbor that he was Satan. The neighbor laughed until the man asked in a demon-y voice, "Do you believe I don't exist?" to which the neighbor answered something like, "Satan exists, but you're not Satan." So he continued with, "Whether you believe I'm Satan or not, do you think Satan is unaware of our conversation? Do you think he's letting me speak for him or would he be controlling what you hear me say instead?"

That did the trick. Her belief in Satan made her manipulable, which of course is the point of creating Satan, but he used it to his advantage. Now she has to wonder if Satan lives next door or is watching her through this neighbor, so, according to his report, she never speaks to him or interacts with him in any way. Mission accomplished.
 

Quagmire

Imaginary talking monkey
Staff member
Premium Member
You: "So you're a Christian, huh"?

Street Corner Evangelist: "Yes sir Jesus is my Lord and Savior"!

You: "I see, so I guess that means you love Satan"?

SCE: "What??? Of course not!! Satan's the enemy!!!"

You: "Yeah but, didn't Jesus tell you you're supposed to love your enemies"?

SCE: "What? Eh , I, er . . . You have a nice day sir"!
(For anyone who doesn't know, thats street corner of evangelist for "I hope you rot in hell").
 
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ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
What did you do and was it successful?

Rather rudely i said "no, go away and please place a note on your kingdom hall notice board saying 'do not call at _________'"

I then had a sign fitted on the front gate "Neighborhood Watch area, unsolicited callers will be reported to the police"

They went quickly enough and we had no proselytisers after that
 

Ashoka

श्री कृष्णा शरणं मम
I know the street preacher in town by name. And he knows me (it's a small town). He was at Pride yesterday and he yelled something about me going to hell. "No I won't, (name)." Honestly when you know them, they can't say much, because you aren't just a nameless face in the crowd they can preach to. And they know it.

My advice? Get to know your local street preacher and you local proselityzer. It humanizes you to them and makes it harder for them to hate you.
 

Exaltist Ethan

Bridging the Gap Between Believers and Skeptics
Mormons have approached me about their religion. I just say their religion is a cult and that shuts them up pretty easily. Other religions have never approached me without me approaching them first. The funny thing is I actually don't believe that specific religion is a cult but when I don't want to be proselytized I'll do anything to get out of the discussion.
 
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Callisto

Hellenismos, BTW
Inspired by @dfnj's OP I was accosted by a couple of Born-again Christians while fishing I like to debate the best methods to get out of a conversation you don't want to have about someone else's religion.

What did you do and was it successful?
I simply tell them I'm Pagan. That results in them either scurrying away or staying in total fascination and forgetting what they wanted me to know, which has led to some very nice conversations. For several years I lived in an area that had a lot of Mormon missionaries. Lovely kids and for some reason, there could be 20 people waiting for public transport and I was the one they'd gravitate toward. It got so that I knew their schpeel and would cut them off by finishing it for them. I'd tell them I'm a Pagan and that's not changing. Most would be like "Pagan, really?" and want to know more, only a few times did a couple of them bolt. One time I was on a bus with 2 girls, one was quite happy to talk with me, the other got up and moved and kept shooting her friend dirty looks. I chatted with the first one the entire ride, it was quite nice.

Rarely, I'd get someone who thought they're a god warrior and wanted to throw down but that hasn't ended well for them. Either I shut them down or others nearby would jump in and tell them to STFU. Ain't nobody got time for dat. LOL
 

Exaltist Ethan

Bridging the Gap Between Believers and Skeptics
Just say something along the lines that you're not interested and walk away. I don't know why people act like they don't have a choice whether to speak to people or not. People need to get a backbone.
You make a good case. In fact, I try my best now to never burn a bridge. The time I called the LDS church a cult I was just in a bad mood. But from now on I'm going to try my best to polite and not tell people off from having a discussion about religion, no matter how different their point of view is from mine.

Lately, the complete opposite has been happening to me. Instead of being proselytized into a religion, I've been trying to reach out to various groups to experience different religions, and haven't found too many that will give me a ride to their service. I call and email them and after they know I don't want to be a member, as I make that clear to them, they seem to be a lot less interested in me after that.

I emailed and called Unity Church and left them a message and a voicemail. If they don't get back after that then it's probably not worth my time pursuing a relationship with that church or its members. I find apathy is much more prevalent in most religious groups than actually wanting to convert others. That's probably the reason why attendance is down so much. Rude people like me have ruined it for the religious, unfortunately.
 

Rachel Rugelach

Shalom, y'all.
Staff member
Inspired by @dfnj's OP I was accosted by a couple of Born-again Christians while fishing I like to debate the best methods to get out of a conversation you don't want to have about someone else's religion.

What did you do and was it successful?

I say: "I'm not interested." If they continue, I take out my phone, put it on "video record" and say: "I'm asking you for the last time to please leave me alone."

I have to admit that probably works best for a female being accosted by an aggressive male. I've actually only had to do this once, and the guy got very red in the face and immediately went away.
 

Rachel Rugelach

Shalom, y'all.
Staff member
If they don't like being told I'm not interested I may not want it to quickly end.
Yes, some of the responses in this thread have been pretty funny. :) But I tend to worry about people who think nothing of confronting a total stranger with their religious proselytizing. It seems to me like kind of a mental illness. On one hand, I don't want to mock someone who may be mentally ill, and on the other hand I don't want to leave myself vulnerable to them, either. So getting them to quickly go away seems the best option.
 

The Sum of Awe

Brought to you by the moment that spacetime began.
Staff member
Premium Member
You could just tell them you don’t want to hear about it. But it would be a lot funner to sound an air horn every time they start to say something.
 
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