small talk is boring

[Audie]

If they did, all flew over me head.
But I'm not the kind of person that
anyone would ever want to pick up.

Except in Bangkok?

 

[Revoltingest]

Except in Bangkok?

What an unfortunate name for a city.

 

[JustGeorge]

I sympathize. BTW, when at gatherings where
unfamiliar people want to make small talk with
me, I find it stressful.

-I find they don't actually want to know "how are you?" when they ask.

I tell them anyways.

Generally, most don't attempt again.

And if they do, it means they're thick enough skinned we may actually have stuff to talk about.

 

[Kathryn]

Now, personally, i like and seem physiologically suited to
our weather here.

Tho at the moment , its windy, hot, pouring rain and
forcast is for more of the same as far out as forecasts go.

Where is your fab weather? Not NYC!!
5 yrs there convinced me im not a new yorker.

No, not NYC at all. Southwestern Ohio.

 

[Revoltingest]

-I find they don't actually want to know "how are you?" when they ask.

I tell them anyways.

Generally, most don't attempt again.

And if they do, it means they're thick enough skinned we may actually have stuff to talk about.

Some ways to scare off small talkers....
"Would you like to learn more about Jesus?"
"Let me interest you in whole life insurance."
"Does painful rectal itch bother you too?"

 

[Truthseeker]

Talk quality depends entirely on you.
What you have to say, and the people you
choose to associate with.

As for awful, theres hardly worse than
paragraphs, pages, treatises of fluffed up
" spiritual" writing.

You thoughtfully provided an example, stripped of fluff:

" Prophets claim messages from god.
Heres a summary to act on."

Thats all it says

Excerpt:

" we have taken the essence thereof and
clothed it in the garment of brevity " ( italics added)

I'm not very good at social at purely social occasions in steering the conversation. I'm timid in social occasions in such matters. I have always been like that. I'm an autistic person that like most autistic people are not good dealing with social occasions. I'm like Temple Grandin, a famous person in autism circles, who interacts with people in occasions that are meaningful to them, not social occasions. Social occasions tend to seem boring to people like us. Talking about religion is not meaningful to you, and that is your prerogative. We are different people.

 

[Truthseeker]

Small talk is all about establishing rapport

I enjoy it

I prefer having more substantial conversations but small talk has its role

It helps increase familiarity, it helps you better know a person so you can then go on and have a more deep and meaningful conversation

Lovely weather we're having!!

I can do a little small talk, but it stops there. After that, I am lost. I don't know what to do without offending the person. I am an anxious kind of person in that regard, and am anxious in general interacting with people in social occasions. Then I want to leave the social occasion.

 

[Truthseeker]

-I find they don't actually want to know "how are you?" when they ask.

I tell them anyways.

Generally, most don't attempt again.

And if they do, it means they're thick enough skinned we may actually have stuff to talk about.

That might be good strategy, though I don't know if I have the lack of timidity or enough courage to do that. I always say "fine" to strangers, or say "hi" instead or say nothing at all because to me it seems like a meaningless ritual. If I know someone pretty well already and we are friends I could say how I'm doing. Then it might not be a ritual. If things are bad for me I might keep my mouth shut in situation even then, because I don't want to thrust this news on a friend. I used to think it was always a meaningless ritual. I've come to realize that is not the case.

 

[Truthseeker]

No, not NYC at all. Southwestern Ohio.

Oh, yeah, I remember now that you live in my area.

 

[Kathryn]

Oh, yeah, I remember now that you live in my area.

I live out in the country between Dayton and Cincinnati. So far, I love it but I've only been here through the summer.

 

[Truthseeker]

I live out in the country between Dayton and Cincinnati. So far, I love it but I've only been here through the summer.

Yes, I live in the suburbs of Dayton in Montgomery County. I've lived in this vicinity since 1972, at least most of the time. I spent three years in San Antonio, Texas in between because my company sent me there. I've travelled between Dayton and Cincinnati. It's about an hour drive. My son Michael lives in Hamilton county, in Fairfield, Ohio, which is near Cincinnati.

 

[Kathryn]

Yes, I live in the suburbs of Dayton in Montgomery County. I've travelled between Dayton and Cincinnati. It's about an hour drive. My son Michael lives in Hamilton county, in Fairfield, Ohio, which is near Cincinnati.

That's all so crazy! My daughter lives in Lebanon, and I live in Xenia! My brother used to live in Arcanum! When we were kids we lived in Groveport!

I live in Greene County. Anyway, it's beautiful around here.

 

[JustGeorge]

That might be good strategy, though I don't know if I have the lack of timidity or enough courage to do that. I always say "fine" to strangers, or say "hi" instead or say nothing at all because to me it seems like a meaningless ritual. If I know someone pretty well already and we are friends I could say how I'm doing. Then it might not be a ritual. If things are bad for me I might keep my mouth shut in situation even then, because I don't want to thrust this news on a friend. I used to think it was always a meaningless ritual. I've come to realize that is not the case.

I didn't used to have the lack of timidity...

The fact that I can communicate freely now is a gift I have never stopped appreciating. Though, sometimes I struggle to be understood due to general eccentricities and oddities in my social skills.

 

[Truthseeker]

That's all so crazy! My daughter lives in Lebanon, and I live in Xenia! My brother used to live in Arcanum! When we were kids we lived in Groveport!

I live in Greene County. Anyway, it's beautiful around here.

When I travelled to this area with my parents, I initially lived in Xenia until about 1980, then I was in Beavercreek for a couple of years, went to San Antonio, and came back to where I live now. I know there is a famous restaurant named the Golden Lamb in Lebanon.

 

[Kathryn]

When I travelled to this area with my parents, I initially lived in Xenia until about 1980, then I was in Beavercreek for a couple of years, went to San Antonio, and came back to where I live now. I know there is a famous restaurant named the Golden Lamb in Lebanon.

Yes, we ate there right after I came, on Mother's Day! Did you live in Xenia when the tornado hit it? It was 1974 or 1973, I wasn't here and don't remember it. But some people sure do.

When I moved to Chandler, TX (about seven years ago) I noticed that there was no downtown and that there were also lots of trees with the tops gone. Guess what had come through? Twice. Once in the 1940s and once about a year earlier. LOL

 

[Audie]

I'm not very good at social at purely social occasions in steering the conversation. I'm timid in social occasions in such matters. I have always been like that. I'm an autistic person that like most autistic people are not good dealing with social occasions. I'm like Temple Grandin, a famous person in autism circles, who interacts with people in occasions that are meaningful to them, not social occasions. Social occasions tend to seem boring to people like us. Talking about religion is not meaningful to you, and that is your prerogative. We are different people.

Of course we are different.
Ive my own difficulties.
When you said " its"( small talk) awful"
it wasnt evident you were not putting
it as others' fault.

Some aspects of " talking about religion" are
interesting to me.

Blather never is.

The writings you quoted are blather.
As i demonstrated.

Tolerance for such is another difference.

Be well , we've little to talk about.

 

[Kathryn]

See what we did there! We went from talking about the weather to something quite a bit more substantial.

 

[Revoltingest]

I live out in the country between Dayton and Cincinnati. So far, I love it but I've only been here through the summer.

Part of OH that's less infested with Amish.

 

[Kathryn]

Part of OH that's less infested with Amish.

That's the truth though they are still around.

 

[Revoltingest]

That's the truth though they are still around.

Between Canton & Columbus,
they're thick as thieves.