Teaching kids about sex.

[Comprehend]

Full News article

"Couple Charged With Having Intercourse In Front of 9-Year-Old Daughter to Teach Her About Sex

When questioned by an investigator from the state Department of Children, Youth and Families, Prata, 33, said he and Arnold, 36, had sex "all the time" in front of the child and that "we don't believe in hiding anything."
He said the girl would often be on the bed watching as the couple had sex. Though they did not ask her to leave, they also did not force her to remain on the bed, Prata said.
Asked why he thought a child that age should know about sexual acts, Prata replied, "We wanted to prepare her so she would know how," according to a report from the investigator, Vanessa E. Cisela."

I am not Dr. Laura but this is obviously the wrong way. no? :thud:

Is the country (or world) exposing kids to too much sex? How much is too much? how should they be taught?

 

[Bishka]

Whoa.

 

[Hacker]

OMG,what the....!

 

[nutshell]

This couple is obviously oblivious to the psychological effects their acts will have on the child.

I heard a doctor talking about this topic recently (not Dr. Laura). He said people do this claiming to be "open" and "educating their child." However, the reality is a young brain does not have the capability to process the information. The doctor said what typically happens is these children begin sex early. They have an unhealthy view of what sex is. And they have difficulties establishing healthy relationships in general.

 

[Valjean]

This is unusual, true, but I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that it was harmful.
I don't think much research has been done in this area, but I do know that what seems shocking to adults is mostly learned and conforms to the mores of the times.

Children have been watching adults coupling for millions of years. Lucy's kids did not have separate bedrooms. When did it suddenly become psychologically dangerous?

Remember, the scientific revolution and rapid advance of technology began when people began discounting common sense and actually began researching things.

 

[Westy]

Well i have an 18 months old boy, and when the time comes i will explain about sex and hope he will turn to me for advice if he ever needs it when hes older!

But i would never let him watch whilst me and his dad were having sex so he could "see how it was done". In my eyes its just an uncomfortable situation and would be extremly confusing for the child! And potentially very harmful!

 

[Booko]

Children have been watching adults coupling for millions of years. Lucy's kids did not have separate bedrooms. When did it suddenly become psychologically dangerous?

I was thinking of the Inuit family bed, now that you mention it.

My initial reaction is that, in the culture I live in anyway, it's unnecessary to burden a 9 year old with that information, though as an old farm girl I've never been at all hesitant to point out what occurs in nature. I mean, when the ducks are at it, the kids are gonna ask questions, and I've found that a great place to start. It's like helping the kids to understand death when they bury the pet fish, you know?

Remember, the scientific revolution and rapid advance of technology began when people began discounting common sense and actually began researching things.

One person's common sense is another's

 

[Booko]

But i would never let him watch whilst me and his dad were having sex so he could "see how it was done". In my eyes its just an uncomfortable situation and would be extremly confusing for the child! And potentially very harmful!

The thing about our culture is that, 9 year olds go to school and talk about everything. Can you imagine the hits the kid is going to take in a case like that? Telling it to keep it to themselves is not likely to work.

What may or may not be harmful in itself might well turn out to be in a particular environment. Kids don't live in a vacuum outside the home.

 

[Comprehend]

This is unusual, true, but I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that it was harmful.
I don't think much research has been done in this area, but I do know that what seems shocking to adults is mostly learned and conforms to the mores of the times.

Children have been watching adults coupling for millions of years. Lucy's kids did not have separate bedrooms. When did it suddenly become psychologically dangerous?

Remember, the scientific revolution and rapid advance of technology began when people began discounting common sense and actually began researching things.

There is also a long history of execution and sacrifice in human history. Just because people have done it for a long time does not mean it is necessarily good.

 

[Valjean]

Everything is extremely confusing to a child. The whole world is a bizarre, chaotic carousel of inexplicable actions and behaviors.
With the possible exceptions of anger and sudden, loud noises, nothing is any more confusing or alarming than anything else.
Alarm, shock and social discomfort are learned. Don't teach them and the child won't be burdened with them (like we obviously are).

 

[Westy]

Everything is extremely confusing to a child. The whole world is a bizarre, chaotic carousel of inexplicable actions and behaviors.
With the possible exceptions of anger and sudden, loud noises, nothing is any more confusing or alarming than anything else.
Alarm, shock and social discomfort are learned. Don't teach them and the child won't be burdened with them (like we obviously are).

Exactly, Everything is extremly confusing and chaotic for children, so why burden them with something else. My son is confused with the reason people hug each other, never mind trying to figure out what is happening when his parents are having sex!

 

[Comprehend]

Everything is extremely confusing to a child. The whole world is a bizarre, chaotic carousel of inexplicable actions and behaviors.
With the possible exceptions of anger and sudden, loud noises, nothing is any more confusing or alarming than anything else.
Alarm, shock and social discomfort are learned. Don't teach them and the child won't be burdened with them (like we obviously are).

I do not know what kind of 9 year old you were but I would not describe the world as a "bizarre, chaotic carousel in inexplicable actions and behaviours." when I was 9.

 

[Bishka]

I do not know what kind of 9 year old you were but I would not describe the world as a "bizarre, chaotic carousel in inexplicable actions and behaviours." when I was 9.

Neither would I. Though, when children are a bit younger (2-4), they are still in a stage of development where they cannot seem to grasp reality completely, and everything is mixed with reality and fantasy to them.

 

[Katzpur]

i would never let him watch whilst me and his dad were having sex so he could "see how it was done". In my eyes its just an uncomfortable situation and would be extremly confusing for the child! And potentially very harmful!

I totally agree. I guess I must just be really, really, smart, 'cause I never watched my parents having sex and managed to figure out "how it was done" all by myself. Jeesh, some people!

 

[nutshell]

This is unusual, true, but I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that it was harmful.
I don't think much research has been done in this area, but I do know that what seems shocking to adults is mostly learned and conforms to the mores of the times.

Children have been watching adults coupling for millions of years. Lucy's kids did not have separate bedrooms. When did it suddenly become psychologically dangerous?

Remember, the scientific revolution and rapid advance of technology began when people began discounting common sense and actually began researching things.

Reseach has been done and it is harmful.

 

[Valjean]

Exactly, Everything is extremly confusing and chaotic for children, so why burden them with something else. My son is confused with the reason people hug each other, never mind trying to figure out what is happening when his parents are having sex!

So why not shelter them from all potentially confusing stimuli? Throw out the TV. Stay away from animals, construction sites, sports, and, for heaven's sake, don't let them see you eat!
Why are we singling out this common and ordinary act to shelter them from?

 

[Comprehend]

Neither would I. Though, when children are a bit younger (2-4), they are still in a stage of development where they cannot seem to grasp reality completely, and everything is mixed with reality and fantasy to them.

my 3 year old has no problem with the difference between reality and fantasy.

 

[nutshell]

So why not shelter them from all potentially confusing stimuli? Throw out the TV. Stay away from animals, construction sites, sports, and, for heaven's sake, don't let them see you eat!
Why are we singling out this common and ordinary act to shelter them from?

You need to do the research. There is a difference in the degree of harm.

 

[ALifetimeToWaitFor....]

You need to do the research. There is a difference in the degree of harm.

Can you plz show us some of this research?

 

[Bishka]

my 3 year old has no problem with the difference between reality and fantasy.

Then your three year old is ahead of the rest of her age-group. Most children that age, still have issues distiguishing fantasy and reality, Jean Piaget called it the pre-operational stage.