The Breast Question

[methylatedghosts]

Breastfeeding in no way requires a woman to bare herself at all.

Exactly - and I think many people miss this point. It is possible to see much more skin from a breast on the beach with the arrangement of strings people claim covers everything than from a mother breastfeeding her child....

 

[methylatedghosts]

Tell that to the chick that I had to watch while I was eating my lobster.....

But did you REALLY have to watch? I don't mean to insult, and isn't directed specifically towards you, but like I said before, you could just not watch or if possible just leave if it makes you feel uncomfortable

 

[Buttercup]

But did you REALLY have to watch? I don't mean to insult, and isn't directed specifically towards you, but like I said before, you could just not watch or if possible just leave if it makes you feel uncomfortable

I have to jump in again on this one.

When a person is eating an expensive dinner in a restaurant, you have a right to not listen to some strangers baby sucking loudly all the while dribbling milk down it's mother's obviously exposed huge breast.

 

[Smoke]

When a person is eating an expensive dinner in a restaurant, you have a right to not listen to some strangers baby sucking loudly all the while dribbling milk down it's mother's obviously exposed huge breast.

Totally apart from the breastfeeding issue, a baby is highly unlikely to appreciate dinner in a nice restaurant, and extremely likely to keep anybody else from appreciating it, either.

I understand that sometimes people have to take a baby someplace it's certain to be a nuisance, like an airplane, but it's rarely really necessary to take a baby to a restaurant or a movie, and doing so is really rude.

 

[jamaesi]

If seeing a mother breastfeeding her child is someone's biggest problem they should consider themselves lucky.

Honestly and mercy me! It's a breast. I have two of them, actually. Their purpose is to, I bet you won't believe this... feed babies!

Now if you haven't dropped dead of shock yet consider this... would you rather hear a baby crying of hunger (and this is if the parents have the audacity to bring the child out in PUBLIC!) or the relative quiet of it happily eating?

 

[Buttercup]

If seeing a mother breastfeeding her child is someone's biggest problem they should consider themselves lucky.

Honestly and mercy me! It's a breast. I have two of them, actually. Their purpose is to, I bet you won't believe this... feed babies!

Now if you haven't dropped dead of shock yet consider this... would you rather hear a baby crying of hunger (and this is if the parents have the audacity to bring the child out in PUBLIC!) or the relative quiet of it happily eating?

I understand this, honestly. But, part of the problem with our culture today (imo) is that people are no longer considerate with each other. We listen to people talk on cell phones while driving, at the movies, in restaurants. I've seen parents let their kids scream and throw food in all types of restaurants while doing nothing about it. I can't tell you how many times I've seen people walk by my house, let their dog crap in my yard and leave it there!

Anyway, I could go on but I won't. Yes, breastfeeding is natural, No, it's not the worst form of public annoyances. However, women need to show a little class and consideration. It's not all about them and their baby! And this comes from a mom who breastfed four babies.

 

[eudaimonia]

Anyway, I could go on but I won't. Yes, breastfeeding is natural, No, it's not the worst form of public annoyances. However, women need to show a little class and consideration. It's not all about them and their baby! And this comes from a mom who breastfed four babies.

Thank you! This is precisely my point. I'm just asking for politeness! The issue of whether breastfeeding "should" offend others is beside the point.

As to my suggestion that perhaps babies could be breastfed in a lavatory, if this truly is unhealthy for the baby or terribly inconvenient for the mother, I can fully understand if this is not an acceptable solution. It was just an idea. I will agree that if a mall or restaurant can't provide some private room or corner somewhere to allow for breastfeeding, then the mother may have a right to breastfeed anyway since she was given little alternative. But where there is an alternative, politeness suggests that she take advantage of it.


eudaimonia,

Mark

 

[kadzbiz]

I can't see what all the fuss is about when these days there are quite well designed garments that mothers can where so nobody even realises that a baby is being breastfed. My wife used one for all three of our kids and you wouldn't have even known she was breastfeeding in public. Everyone is happy that way.

 

[jacquie4000]

I breastfed my son most places that I happened to be but was always discret about it and I did not have a problem.

 

[cardero]

I think one of the concerns that I had when I had heard the story was that there seemed to be some discord between the mother and daughter regarding this issue. Now I understand that our visiting party should not be held responsible but I couldn’t understand the daughter’s perspective on this. We didn’t visit these relatives very often but I knew the daughter was always very interested in visiting with us. I have known her to be shy but I haven’t known her very well lately which leads me to believe that “something” had gotten into her about the subject of breastfeeding because it was truly out of character for her. The mother on the other hand is very conservative.

I also think that even though the mother did not know our feelings about whether breast feeding the baby would have made us uncomfortable or not, I think that the previous conversation needed to take place. I know that the daughter’s father is uncomfortable about her breastfeeding because he explained that everytime she performed a feeding, he had to look away. I do not think that the mother was out of place to inquire about her daughter’s intentions, it is after all, her home and her guests. Maybe the mother should have polled us before the visit to put her daughter’s concerns at ease (mrscardero, my father and I all admitted at the dinner table that we wouldn’t have had a problem with this). All I do know is that it should not have ended that way between mother and daughter, some satisfying resolution could have been reached.

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

When a person is eating an expensive dinner in a restaurant, you have a right to not listen to some strangers baby sucking loudly all the while dribbling milk down it's mother's obviously exposed huge breast.

I can't count the number of times I've been in the vicinity of a breastfeeding mother yet cannot remember a single instance like the one you describe. Perhaps it's your technique?

... and the problem is?​

 

[MysticSang'ha]

I can't count the number of times I've been in the vicinity of a breastfeeding mother yet cannot remember a single instance like the one you describe. Perhaps it's your technique?

... and the problem is?​

I think it's beautiful.

When I went out with my babies in tow, breastfeeding nearly always looked like this pic. T-shirt lifted up just enough.........flap on nursing bra opened.........but I also almost always had my baby in a sling carrier, too, and it actually covered most everything else.

I think those in defense of public breastfeeding are protesting that it's somehow thought of as "impolite" to breastfeed a baby in the first place. I did go through a time when I was training to be a lactation consultant so that I could help new moms with breastfeeding issues, and the one-to-one training was simply giving them support to do so in the first place. A lot of moms pay attention to debates like this, and take it very personally. They feel like they should somehow be ashamed of breastfeeding at all, and that being "discreet" more often means being "non-existent."




Peace,
Mystic

 

[anders]

Some time, not too long ago, there was a discussion in my morning paper because of a breastfeeding mother who had been asked by restaurant staff to move to a more remote area. A typical comment was that restaurants that couldn't accept babies having a meal there, should advertise it clearly, so that we who don't mind could boycott them.

I survived the 60's, when there were in summer loads of exposed mammaries to be seen in parks and on beaches in Scandinavia. The more, the better, I'd say. There were a few years when I, childless but really trying to remedy the fact, found it difficult to look at kids in any setting. Now that I have accepted my status, a picture like Jay's just brings happy tears to my eyes.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Babies have the right to receive breast milk as a right of survival (no pun intended). This right greatly supercedes the desire (it really can't be called a "right") of an adult to not see a female breast. If breasts offend you, look the other way or leave.

I can't think of any normal situation in which the survival of an infant would be contingent on which room he or she is fed in.

In your own house or a public place, I can understand your point of view. However, when you're a guest in someone else's home, their rules apply, and common courtesy would be to ask the host or those there before breastfeeding.

There is no single mode of behaviour that fits all circumstances. Just as it may be appropriate to take a child aside to discipline him or her, or to find a private room for obligatory prayers (if not everyone at the party share your religious beliefs), it may also be appropriate to breastfeed in another room, depending on the feelings of your host and fellow guests.

 

[Sunstone]

I am staunchly and adamantly opposed to breast feeding babies. Babies should be fed their mother's milk and not chicken breasts. It's shocking to me that this is no longer understood by people. What's the world coming to when mothers start feeding their infants chicken breasts instead of milk? Let's be reasonable people! Let's get with the program! Am I the only one who understands the importance of this?

 

[Ðanisty]

Totally apart from the breastfeeding issue, a baby is highly unlikely to appreciate dinner in a nice restaurant, and extremely likely to keep anybody else from appreciating it, either.

I understand that sometimes people have to take a baby someplace it's certain to be a nuisance, like an airplane, but it's rarely really necessary to take a baby to a restaurant or a movie, and doing so is really rude.

Honestly, I agree with you. But if a baby is someplace public and needs to be fed, I don't see how breastfeeding is any worse than bottle feeding.

I understand this, honestly. But, part of the problem with our culture today (imo) is that people are no longer considerate with each other. We listen to people talk on cell phones while driving, at the movies, in restaurants. I've seen parents let their kids scream and throw food in all types of restaurants while doing nothing about it. I can't tell you how many times I've seen people walk by my house, let their dog crap in my yard and leave it there!

:yes:

Anyway, I could go on but I won't. Yes, breastfeeding is natural, No, it's not the worst form of public annoyances. However, women need to show a little class and consideration. It's not all about them and their baby! And this comes from a mom who breastfed four babies.

I agree with everything you posted above and I happen to be one of those weird people who doesn't like children at all. I really do get annoyed when women think it's all about them and their baby. However, I only feel this way when a woman is actually inconveniencing me. Breastfeeding isn't even close to the top of the list of things mothers do that annoy other people.

I also think that even though the mother did not know our feelings about whether breast feeding the baby would have made us uncomfortable or not, I think that the previous conversation needed to take place. I know that the daughter’s father is uncomfortable about her breastfeeding because he explained that everytime she performed a feeding, he had to look away. I do not think that the mother was out of place to inquire about her daughter’s intentions, it is after all, her home and her guests. Maybe the mother should have polled us before the visit to put her daughter’s concerns at ease (mrscardero, my father and I all admitted at the dinner table that we wouldn’t have had a problem with this). All I do know is that it should not have ended that way between mother and daughter, some satisfying resolution could have been reached.

Her father can't look at her while she's breastfeeding? Why? I think that's a bit disturbing, personally. If I was in that situation, I'm not sure I could be around him anymore. If you ask me, there's something wrong if a father can't see his daughter's breast without having uncomfortable thoughts. It's not like she was being sexual or anything. It's not like breastfeeding is unnatural or "sinful."

 

[Smoke]

Honestly, I agree with you. But if a baby is someplace public and needs to be fed, I don't see how breastfeeding is any worse than bottle feeding.

:yes:

I agree. Like I said, I have no problem with public breastfeeding. Just with the idea that everybody's little bundle of joy is welcome in every conceivable situation.

 

[Buttercup]

I agree. Like I said, I have no problem with public breastfeeding. Just with the idea that everybody's little bundle of joy is welcome in every conceivable situation.

As I've said before as well, public breastfeeding is perfectly acceptable. I simply think it's a good idea to cover yourself with a receiving blanket. My husband wouldn't have been comfortable eating at The Olive Garden if I even showed as little breast in the picture above for the whole world to see. I viewed modesty as merely pleasing myself, the public and him.

 

[Pardus]

Let me be the one to say "More breasts in public"

I really object to the idea that nature is wrong.

 

[Smoke]

Let me be the one to say "More breasts in public"

I really object to the idea that nature is wrong.

I'm not agreeing that everything natural should be done in public. We don't want to open that can of worms. But babies should be fed anyplace that babies have any business being in the first place.