No, it's never necessary. It's self-centered and rude.
You're certainly entitled to your opinion. I do have a hunch that these families that have ruined your dinners weren't trying to be self-centered and rude. I'm sure they simply wanted to enjoy time with THEIR families.
I work. My husband works. Dinners and outings with my children are very important to us. Certainly, we don't go out to incredibly expensive restaurants but we do go out to nice restaurants at times. We have every right to dine out. We've dined out as a family, since our girls were infants.
The fact that a woman has had an exhausting day, every day, for a long time doesn't give her the right to ruin everyone else's dinner or movie.
I doubt she's intentionally trying to RUIN your dinner. I'm with you on the whole movie thing. My oldest daughter is now five years old and has been to several movies. I wouldn't take my two year old to a movie out of respect to others.
If she doesn't have even one friend or relative who is willing to keep her child for a couple hours, if she doesn't have a husband or boyfriend who can keep his own child for a couple hours while she goes out with her friends, if she can't find a babysitter or a daycare center no matter how hard she looks, she should stay home with her child.
And I think most women try to exhaust these options. I do. Still, there are times, where families want to enjoy dinners together as families, even with little ones.
And I can relate to women wanting to get out of the house, especially when they've been cooped up in the house, after giving birth. I couldn't part with my babies when they were newborns. After the first 4-6 weeks, I was ready to get out of the house with them and we did.
I can honestly say to you, my infants normally slept when we went out. Do you find sleeping newborns to be rude?
But I don't really believe there are that many women who can find no one at all to keep their children for a couple hours.
I know quite a few women who do not have childcare. I've been fortunate in this department.
They just assume that the amazing, exhausting feat of reproducing and caring for a baby gives them the right to impose on perfect strangers -- people who very likely include other mothers with a baby who have made appropriate arrangements for their own infants, as well as people who don't have an infant but nevertheless have hectic and exhausting lives of their own and would desperately like to have a nice evening out without being seated next to someone who is virtually certain to pee, poop, cry, and barf during dinner.
I think you're being mighty assumptive about the intent of others. But you're certainly allowed to feel as you'd like.
And why is this woman doing everything by herself in the first place? Does the father of her child imagine that he has no new obligations? Does it never occur to him to take care of doing the laundry or fixing dinner sometimes?
My husband and I have an equal opportunity marriage. He's very helpful but he can't relate to what it feels like those first few weeks after surgery, when you're tired and sore and you just want to feel human again. Getting out feels good...it's healthy. That was the point that I was trying to make. And I'm no less deserving of a nice dinner out than you are.
We're not a family who goes out to eat often but when we do...it's a treat and it's cherished family time.
I wanted you to understand where one self-centered and rude woman is coming from.