The Kindness Box

[Geoff-Allen]

"Those who seek liberation for themselves alone cannot become fully enlightened. Though it may be said that one who is not already liberated cannot liberate others, the very process of forgetting oneself to help others is itself liberating.

Therefore those who seek to benefit themselves alone actually harm themselves by doing so, while those who help others also help themselves by doing so."

Muso Kokushi, Dream Conversations

 

[Geoff-Allen]

"If we want to communicate and we have a strong aspiration to help others - in terms of engaging in social action, helping our family or community, or just being there for other people when they need us - then sooner or later we’re going to experience the big squeeze. Our ideals and the reality of what’s happening don’t match. We feel as if we’re between the fingers of a big giant who is squeezing us. We find ourselves between a rock and a hard place.

There is often a discrepancy between our ideas and what we actually encounter. For instance, in raising children, we have a lot of good ideas, but sometimes it’s challenging to put together the good ideas with how are children are, there at the breakfast table with food all over themselves. Or in meditation, have you noticed how difficult it is to feel emotions without getting totally swept away by them, or how difficult it is simply to cultivate friendliness toward yourself when you’re feeling miserable or panicked or all caught up?

There’s a discrepancy between our inspiration and the situation as it presents itself. It’s the rub between these two things - the squeeze between reality and vision - that causes us to grow up, to wake up to be 100 percent decent, alive, and compassionate. The big squeeze is one of the most productive places on the spiritual path and in particular on this journey of awakening the heart."

Pema Chodron, Comfortable With Uncertainty

 

[Geoff-Allen]

Many more at this interesting site -

Kindness Quotes · MoveMe Quotes

Not your average copy, pasted quotes. Our collection of Kindness Quotes is uniquely sourced and of the highest quality. And we'd love to share it with you :)

movemequotes.com

Off to explore a bit more!

 

[Geoff-Allen]

Easy ways to be nicer to everyone

Looks to be quite a few worthy of exploring ... remind me!

For example -

Grrrr.

How to be kind seems simple enough. But sometimes it feels impossible to be kind and loving, don’t you think? We get so angry and frustrated at events happening in our lives that we cannot access that loving place inside of us. Instead, our eyes go from side to side as our fists clench and minds whirl with angry thoughts. Some of us even spew those thoughts out into the world with our talk and our actions.

Or sometimes we just don’t know what to do. We have a nagging feeling that we need to be doing something, but we’re just not sure what.

When this happens, I always like to sit down and take a moment to reflect. I know that, when you love someone, there must be a better way and that the best antidote to these feelings is to act loving even if I don’t feel very much like doing so. And sometimes I just need a little more help – some prompts, ideas, things to get me going, to shift my emotions. So I made this list of 87 ways to be kind and loving. So next time you feel stuck and are unsure how to be kind in that moment, check this list and you will definitely find something to get you moving in the right direction.

Please share this list freely because there just can’t be too much kindness and love in the world.

Read the full-list of suggestions here -

87 Ways to Be Kind and Loving

Sometimes if feels impossible to be kind and loving. When you're struggling to access that loving place inside of you, give these expert tips for how to be kind a try.

www.6seconds.org

All the best!

 

[Geoff-Allen]

How to Be Kind with Loved Ones

When it comes to our loved ones, our empathy reserves are often lacking. Why is this? We shouldn’t treat our loved ones less kindly than we do strangers—but the reality is, that we often do—even as toddlers!

I’ve heard many times parents say their children behave better with grandma or grandpa. Or the babysitter says how wonderful they were the entire evening. But the moment you walk in the door they throw a tantrum. Why is that?

We feel more comfortable being ourselves with the people we love and trust—and being ourselves means showing all sides, which includes the ugly.

A study published in 2014 suggests that we feel more “comfortable” not being as kind to those we feel closest to because we feel safe and believe the relationship is strong enough to endure it.

With our loved ones we don’t need to pretend. Our close friends and family are supposed to tolerate us, right? When we are with them is when we feel safe and release our pent-up frustrations of the day or “vent”— not always in a nice way.

This behavior can leave the recipient of the venting feeling mistreated by their partner, friend, parent, or even children.

To read more -

Be Kind To Those Closest To You - Good Things Are Gonna Come

“Be kind not only to strangers—but to those that mean the most to you too”. Be kind to those closest to you!

goodthingsaregonnacome.com

Cheers!

 

[Geoff-Allen]

Just on a hunch while reading that site -

Try - goodthingsaregonnacome.com kindness

The list of kind things you can do goes on and on…but I think most of us know what constitutes being kind to someone means. I have my personally “kindness compass” in my head that I use to spread kindness, but that is my personal list and might not work for you. Yet, no matter what list you read or what good deed you choose to exercise, I believe there are four guidelines to being kind to yourself and to others:

• Act with good intent: If you are only being kind for gratitude in return, that is the wrong reason and fake. You might be kind to a friend or a stranger and get the opposite response from them that you were expecting. However, if your intent was to be kind no matter the outcome, that is key. You can’t control others reactions and some people, are just nasty (probably because they haven’t read my inspirational blogs yet ).

Read the full-article here -

Be Kind - Kindness is Contagious - Good Things Are Gonna Come

“Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind.... ” — Henry James

goodthingsaregonnacome.com

Enjoy your browsing!

 

[Geoff-Allen]

Still exploring that site -

Did you know there is actually a phrase for being TOO positive, it’s called toxic positivity. Dr. Jamie Long defines toxic positivity as, “Excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of a happy optimist state across all situations. The process of toxic positivity results in the denial, minimization, and invalidation of the authentic human emotional experience.”

In layman terms, if you are having a bad day and you don’t want to start the day with a positive affirmation or writing down 10 things you are grateful for…that is 100% OK! The idea that we should only focus on positive emotions and the positive aspects of life is just living a phony life.

“I honestly feel that this world needs more kindness…”​

Read more -

It's OK to NOT be OK - Good Things Are Gonna Come

It's ok to not be ok, unless not being ok becomes your new ok...ok?

goodthingsaregonnacome.com

 

[Geoff-Allen]

Berkeley wellbeing site is also worthy of mentioning - here is one of their offerings -

The act of being kind is often used as a synonym for being nice. While niceness implies a level of pleasurable or agreeable behavior toward someone else, kindness takes niceness a step further. Kindness can be defined as a genuine and sincere way of giving your time and intention to someone else through compassion, time, generosity, and care for the betterment of helping others (Binet & Passmore, 2019). Kindness can be shown in a variety of ways. Some ideas may include offering emotional support, giving time to someone or a cause, showing respect, encouraging another person, providing resources, or something as simple as just being there when someone needs you.

How to Be Kind: Examples, Tips, & List

What does it mean to be kind? Discover the importance of kindness and learn new ways to show your kindness today.

www.berkeleywellbeing.com

All the best!

 

[Geoff-Allen]

Remember to be kind to yourself

“Talk to yourself like someone you love,” is one of my favorite be kind to yourself quotes. You wouldn’t tell someone you love how disappointed you are in them on a daily basis would you? Of course not. So don’t talk to yourself that way. Talk to yourself with kindness, love, and self-acceptance.

Be Kind To Yourself Quotes – 50 Best

Of all the people in the world that deserve your love and kindness, you deserve it most. Get started with these be kind to yourself quotes.

empoweredandthriving.com

Cheers!

 

[Geoff-Allen]

More from that site -

You always hear news stories about people performing amazing anonymous acts of kindness. School tuition being paid in full by some anonymous donor. A person paying for everyone’s layaway at the store or a stranger paying for car repairs for someone struggling. These kinds of stories always give you a warm and fuzzy (at least me anyway). Performing anonymous acts of kindness is a great way to be nicer and you can get in on the action.

You do not have to do anything extravagant or expensive to really make a difference in someone’s life. Small things for random people can be remembered for a lifetime. Here are some ideas:

• Leave a gas card at a pump.
• Leave quarters at a laundromat.
• Place a sticky note with an inspirational message on a bathroom mirror at work or store. Something like, “You are beautiful.”, “You are enough.” “Amazing things will happen for you.”
• Put unused coupons near items at the grocery store.

Even more suggestions -

How To Be Nicer – 10 Simple Ways

We should all strive to be nicer, but some of us struggle. If you need help, here are 10 tips that can help you be a better human being.

empoweredandthriving.com

 

[Geoff-Allen]

Kindness listening skills

Empathy is the awareness and understanding of another person's thoughts, feelings, and circumstances. The ability to co-experience the feelings and thoughts of other people, is probably one of the most important skills a person may have. Understanding others' feelings and needs helps young people make and keep friends, encourages tolerance and acceptance of others promoting good mental health. Thus, being empathetic assists children and students in building and maintaining strong and healthy relationships developing with their family, class, school, and community. Helping children and students to develop a strong sense of empathy is beneficial because it promotes social harmony, reduces the likelihood of bullying and prejudice, lowers levels of stress and contributes to emotional and social growth. In an ever-changing world appreciating and being sensitive to others’ experiences, backgrounds, and cultures is essential. The activities sourced and designed provide opportunities for children and students to identify and experience the benefits of empathy utilising prosocial behaviours, compassion, perspective taking and other kindness attributes.

Active listening - The Kindness Curriculum

This thought-provoking activity gives students the opportunity to feel and share another person's emotions. Cross the line creates awareness of others’ experiences, perspectives and circumstances building a unified and supportive group of learners.

thekindnesscurriculum.com

Looks an excellent site!

 

[Geoff-Allen]

They have a video library which I have just started to explore -

Library - The Kindness Curriculum

thekindnesscurriculum.com

Cheers!

 

[Geoff-Allen]

How to listen with kindness to someone seeking support

Ask them how they are

And then ask them again. Sometimes someone hasn’t been asked in a while. Or they may give an offhand, light-hearted answer to try and deflect the question – so ask them again in a different way to let them know you’re not just being polite.

Read between the lines

Is there something they’re not mentioning? What hints are they giving? Notice body language if you’re on a video call with them, or listen carefully down the phone.

Don’t try to have all the answers

We don’t expect others to have all the answers when we seek help, and you likely won’t have all the answers either, but that doesn’t matter. Sometimes people just need to talk, and are often the source of their own solutions if they have time to discuss their thoughts and reflect on their situation or needs.

Here is the full article & website -

How to listen with kindness

Tips on how to listen with kindness from our coronavirus support line staff and volunteers.

www.redcross.org.uk

All the best!

 

[Geoff-Allen]

More from the very well mind site -

Act With Kindness

Being a nice person means acting with kindness, and research suggests that kindness can positively impact your brain. Individual acts of kindness trigger the release of oxytocin and endorphins and appear to foster the creation of new neural connections.1

Being kind is a self-reinforcing habit. We crave the feel-good sensation of being kind, so one act of kindness can easily lead to another.

6 Ways to Become a Nicer Person

Being nice has a number of mental health benefits included reduced stress and better mood. Learn more about how you can become a nicer person.

www.verywellmind.com

 

[Geoff-Allen]

A Bahai site -

Just for a moment, remember the last time you selflessly helped someone else, and reflect back on how it made you feel afterwards. Isn’t it a wonderful feeling? Wouldn’t you like to feel that way more often?

A simple act of helpfulness – being of service to others – can be a highly rewarding one, and can even lead over time to the habit of becoming a consistently helpful person, one who always looks for ways to assist and support others.

The Virtues Basket: How to Become a Truly Helpful Human Being

A simple act of helpfulness – being of service to others – can show us what love feels like when it’s translated into action.

bahaiteachings.org

All the best!

 

[Geoff-Allen]

Too often the trend in our society is for people to be separated from either other, to be cut off from the great mass of humanity, and in doing so to be dehumanized a little bit more with each step.

Cars have taken us off the streets, where we used to greet each other and stop to chat. Cubicles have taken away a bit of the humanity in working, as have factories and even computers to some extent. Television has planted us firmly in our living rooms, instead of out with other people. Even movie theaters, where many people get together, cut us off from true conversation because we’re staring at a big screen.

And while I’m not railing against any of these inventions (except perhaps the cubicle), what we must guard against is the tendency of that individuality to have us focused on ourselves to the exclusion of our fellow human beings. The tendency towards selfishness rather than giving, on helping ourselves rather than helping our brothers and sisters in humanity.

Comes from the Zen habits site which is well-worth checking out further -

25 Ways to Help a Fellow Human Being Today - zen habits

Photo courtesy of popofatticus

zenhabits.net

Cheers!

 

[Geoff-Allen]

How to explain kindness to a child

“Can you believe what she’s wearing?” “Don’t you think he’s fat?” “Why would anyone want to be friends with her?” “He’s ugly.”

Comments like these—or worse—are not uncommon among children, or even with adults. We now live in an age where photos and posts online can garner nearly instant and anonymous comments from total strangers and acquaintances alike. These reactions can be rude, hurtful, and even malicious. It is more important than ever that parents teach children to be kind to others.

Ways You Can Teach Your Kids Kindness and Why You Should

Teaching kids kindness is more important than ever before. Use these nine tips for teaching your kids to be nice and setting a good example for them.

www.verywellfamily.com

All the best

 

[Geoff-Allen]

More from that site -

While stories about kids engaging in bullying and other bad behavior often make headlines, the truth is that many kids quietly perform good deeds in the ordinary course of their lives, whether it’s making a friend feel better when he’s down or pitching in at a community center.

As you encourage positive behaviors such as doing something to make someone’s day better (even something as small as patting a friend on the shoulder when they're sad), be sure to talk about what negative effects behaviors like gossiping or bullying have on both sides (both those who are bullied and those who do the bullying), and why and how it hurts people.

The Surprising Secret to Raising a Well-Behaved Kid

The key to smart discipline is simple: Teach your child how to control her own behavior so you don't have to.

www.verywellfamily.com

Enjoy!

 

[Geoff-Allen]

The best thing you can do to make the world a better place is to create a culture of kindness in your own home. Consider these ways to show your children why the Golden Rule rules.

I recently asked my friends and family, "When you think about instilling kindness in your kids, what do you mean by kindness?" They had many different responses: compassion, generosity, empathy, justice, alleviating suffering. But every answer involved an underlying consideration for others, rather than acting only out of self-interest. It makes sense that this is also the definition of humane, because kindness is the most fundamental expression of what it means to be a human being.

Kindness is about "seeing with your heart," explains Angela C. Santomero, author of Radical Kindness: The Life-Changing Power of Giving and Receiving and co-creator of Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood. For our littlest kids, this might mean patting the back of a worried friend, waving to an elderly neighbor, or breaking a cookie in half to share with a younger brother. For older kids, kindness might be inviting a lonely classmate to join their lunch table, comforting someone who's sad or scared, or donating some of their allowance to a cause they care about.

6 Ways to Teach Kids to Be Kind

The best thing you can do to make the world a better place is to create a culture of kindness in your own home. Consider these ways to show your children why the Golden Rule rules.

www.parents.com

 

[Geoff-Allen]

Kindness is not a weakness, it is a superpower! You can be strong as a Leader and always be kind. You can be courageous as a Leader and show fear. Leadership isn't a role or title, it is a choice, attitude and action. Enjoy my 12 Rules of Kindness and practice everyday.

12 Rules of Kindness Sonia McDonald Leadership Skills -

Kindness is not a weakness, it is a superpower! You can be strong as a Leader and always be kind. You can be courageous as a Leader and show fear. Leadership isn't a role or title, it is a choice, attitude and action. Enjoy my 12 Rules of Kindness and practice everyday.

soniamcdonald.com.au

Plenty more at that site!