Quick recap of the story so far...
Breathing heavily, standing at the very edge of the fissure, Jane yelled "I can't see
you anymore!". Taking out her flashlight, she fumbled for the switch, noticing the blood on...
her hands then suddenly her vision got blurry, and she almost stumbled into the deep crevice
herself. After a moment Chris, her fiance, called up from the bottom.
"I think my leg is stuck up in my buttocks. I don't know how it got there but it hurts
like hell."
"When I told you to put your foot up your butt I was only joking!" she yells down.
As he lies there in pain, his eye glanced torse the sky in time to see some bright
light from above
"Get that damn light out of my eyes" he yells up.
"Honey, I don't even have a light on."
Suddenly a large craft came swiftly and silently to a halt just inches away from the
opening of the fissure.
"What in FSM's name is that?" Jane wondered.
"It's like a giant cup!"
"SILENCE" a voice says from the craft. "We're here to take you to our leader. Get
on board the cup craft pronto!" But Jane's fiance was still stuck, so the cup craft lowered the
leg anal extractornator and removed his leg then it lowered the rectum compressor.
"You aren't bringing that thing anywhere near me." Chris hollered.
"Just shut up and let it help you!"
"What if I end up pregnant?" Chris wondered.
"Then I will pay child support." But Chris realized the alien couldn't possibly pay in
earth money, so he grabbed the rectum compressor and started climbing up. When he got to
the top he threw himself towards Jane.
"What are you doing, the can help you!"
"I don't want their help. I just want to be in your arms."
"Baby, I really wish you would let them help. I'll be right beside you, I'll hold your
penis, while they use the rectum compressor on you." Chris thought about it and just
snapped. He grabbed the gun off Janes' waist and fired at the cup craft.
"What are you doing!?!?" Jane said.
The aliens retreated into the cup craft and brought out a strange looking laser,
which fired communion wine, hitting the couple in the eyes and made Janes vision come
back.
"I can see" she exclaimed.
"Lucky you, I cant see a thing. Hey aliens! You missed a spot!" Then Chris got so
frustrated he picked up a rock and hurled it, hitting the craft and they fell to the ground
holding thier faces because thier eyes was burning from the wine. Chris held the gun out and
blindly fired some more shots at the aliens. He hit the leader of the aliens square in the face,
causing him to fall down dead, and his companions to retreat back into their craft.
"Zegb bleek, geel gerbleet xuhb!" The alian said.
Taking the vote of confidance the alian geared up and went back to it's home
planet, leaving Chris and Jane dazed and confused. However, they still were stuck in their
current situation of being lustfully in love while being in relationships with others, chris new his
girl was cheating and wanted to get back at her by cheating himself, but they'd have to
figure that out when they reached civilization. They climbed out of the pit and found
themselves in a giant valley surrounded by the highest peaks known to man.
With no easy way out the resigned to making camp and cleaning up in the nearby
stream of fresh, clean water. They were in the stream, when they heard a rustling in some
nearby bushes and a man jumped out, this man was brandishing a sword and demanded to know why they were on his property.
"We were lost and then my fiance got hurt." Jane said.
"I think you're lying, prepare to be taken to my home. once they arrived at the mans cabin both were put at ease to see he was a nice looking young man with blond hair and and a dazzling smile. Chris didn't know why, but he thought if he could cheat on Jane with anyone, he'd want it to be this young man. The young man then revealed he was a munic (sp) and lived in this humble abode to study and learn all he could while writing books on self help as well as short stories for children to improve their reading. He then told them that he would serve them a meal, but that he would do so using his magical handkerchief and they would have to room together in the barn with the donkey. He warned them "if you get into the hanky panky in front of the donkey you get a big ol' donkey kick in the mouth." Then he took out his magic hankerchief, flicked it over the table once, and a glorious feast appeared before the young couple. They immediately fell to eating like a bunch of rabidness wolves devouring a fresh kill.
The Monk looked on in astonishment. "why are you eating so much so furiously"? The couple looked up and stated "it feels like we are eating for two". The monk whipped is handkerchief and relieved the aliens had set this all up as a trap, and lured them into it. The aliens with their new leader suddenly appeared at the door, and the monk's disguise fell away revealing a grotesque midget.
"WTF is that and why does it look so mutant?"
The midget ordered silence. "You will not make fun of my appearance you earth
dogs! Take them to the cup craft!" The aliens grabbed the couple by the arm and began to
drag them away. They were beamed up to the craft and found themselves in a room of pure white with no door seams of any kind. While clutching each other tightly in their naked states a side of the room swung open and one of the aliens came in caring a long metallic object.
"This will probably hurt alot, but it is worth it" the alien said.
"Keep it away" Jane yelled.
"Oh shut up you whore," Chris replied. "I am tired of you're whining!"
Jane began to cry, but then the alien began to calm her somehow with it's
eyes, and she was quiet. Chris thanked the alien for silencing his gripey mate, but it looked at
him and suddenly his retnas began to burn. It burned soo hot that he would much rather have his leg back into his buttocks.
"I'm sorry, I'm just tired of Jane's cheating!"
The alien stopped the sensation and motioned for Chris to come to him with his finger. Chris found himself rising and walking toward the being. Not just merely doing it by the being's influence, but wanting to do it. He felt close to the being somehow, like he had known it all of his life. When he was inches away, the being procured a gun from nearby! The alien then cocked the gun (which was a pistol) and said, "I have a gun! I demand you give me your fiance!"
"NO!" Chris said.
"But I thought that you grew tired of her and her unchaste ways?" the alien said.
Chris fell to his knees before the alien and pleaded. "I'll do anything you want, just not that,"
he pleaded. The alien looked at him and said " Do all that I ask for now"! If you hesitate I will not kill you but it will be a long suffering and painful time while you are here" "If you do as I command you will have pure pleasure and plenty of virgins that never become unvirgin." Chris looked at the alien in astonishment. "Do you mean to say," he spoke, "that this is like paradise?"
The alien spun around as Jane approached from behind.
"Don't I have a say in any of this!?!?" she demanded.
The alien ignored her and clapped his hands. A nearby door opened and in walked the ugly little midget from the cottage. The midget...
Let's keep it up!!!
