I put my daughter in time out in her room when she starts shrieking excessively or throwing tantrums. She calms down pretty quickly, which is good. She starts playing with her toys or takes a nap, and seems to not care about being shut in her room after about thirty seconds. This is my dilemma: Do I need to find a new way to discipline her? Should I be happy that she is happy to just play in her room? Should I go and get after the time has elapsed if she is happily playing or sleeping, or should I just let her be?
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The Parenting Thread
- Thread starter Draka
- Start date
Green Gaia
Veteran Member
evearael said:
1) In time-out she shouldn't be playing. Put her somewhere she can't play with anything. This is punishment afterall. Sitting on the stairs (bottom step for little ones) always worked well for me, sitting in a corner where nothing is in within her reach.
2) The calming down part is important, but I think the most important part is the follow-up. Talking to her and telling her why (once she has calmed down) what she did wrong and why she was put into time-out. This is where they learn to correct behavior. If you're just letting her play or nap and not giving any follow-up, you're not likely to correct her inappropriate behavior.
3) Stay with her. Or at least where she can see you and you and see her. You don't have to make eye contact or talk, especially if she is still out of control. Wait until she calms down. But she needs to know that you're watching her and that will help ensure she is behaving appropriately in time-out.
She hits someone then it's off to time-out. It worked quite well with my son and biting at about the same age.
I wish I knew any tricks or new ideas on how you can do all the things you used to while healthy............but the only things I can think of is to remind yourself that:
1) It's OK if she doesn't get a bath today
2) It's OK if she goes to bed with her shoes on, or with a costume on, or whatever that are not pajamas
3) It's OK if all she eats today is the box of Ritz crackers
4) It's OK to get help while you're taking naps, eating soup, getting liquids down, going to the doctor, etc................basically caring for yourself
I know that when I'm sick, I usually forgive myself of being less of a hands-on mother than I normally am. My kids usually have really messy hair, mismatched clothes (or lots of times just run around in their underwear), are a little stinky or dirty because of no bath, and they just eat whatever doesn't have to be cooked or prepared in any way. They can handle it, because I need to rest and care for myself.
Hope you feel better soon, my dear. :hug:
Peace,
Mystic
1) It's OK if she doesn't get a bath today
2) It's OK if she goes to bed with her shoes on, or with a costume on, or whatever that are not pajamas
3) It's OK if all she eats today is the box of Ritz crackers
4) It's OK to get help while you're taking naps, eating soup, getting liquids down, going to the doctor, etc................basically caring for yourself
I know that when I'm sick, I usually forgive myself of being less of a hands-on mother than I normally am. My kids usually have really messy hair, mismatched clothes (or lots of times just run around in their underwear), are a little stinky or dirty because of no bath, and they just eat whatever doesn't have to be cooked or prepared in any way. They can handle it, because I need to rest and care for myself.
Hope you feel better soon, my dear. :hug:
Peace,
Mystic
EnhancedSpirit
High Priestess
I agree with Maize, that 'time-out' should not involve playing, time out should be a sitting spot. But with that said, I used to handle temper tantrums the same way, I just didn't call it 'time-out', I would say 'if you want to throw a fit, do it in your own room.' It's different than a time-out, it's expressing feelings in a way that doesn't bother others.evearael said:
With this one, I agree with Mystic. The only thing worse than being sick as a mother is having a sick child. I have noticed that when I'm sick, my children seem to be on their best behavior, like they know I don't have the energy to keep them in line. And they are so loving, and want to help. I had a terrible migraine a few weeks ago, and my four year old wanted to rub my back while I threw up.
Allow yourself to let things slide. Save your energy for the most important things. I hope you feel better soon.
Thank you all for your encouragement, warm wishes and consistently good advice. My new dilemma is my daughter is teething which isn't that crazy, except that it feels like all of the rest of the teeth (she has nine) are trying to come in at once. Ice hasn't been enough. Gum numbing ointment hasn't been enough. Help!
Green Gaia
Veteran Member
Popsicles, the whole fruit, no -sugar added kind (Edy's). It's temporary relief, but it works.
Yet another question! My daughter is now 17 months and she has a peculiar habit... After she's out of the tub, she won't let me towel her off. Instead, she runs off naked and stands in front of the toilet and tinkles. :areyoucra Is she signalling that she wants to potty train?
Purple Thyme
Active Member
Be thankful she noticed the potty. Yes to me this is a sign she wants to start potty training. My kids always did nakie runs around the house. My youngest still does. He loves to be naked. But he never wanted to potty train till he was almost 4. I was starting to have visions of him going to school with diapers.
Its great that she does that.
Its great that she does that.
BrandonE
King of Parentheses
Set her down.evearael said:
Seriously. If she's not actually trying to hit you or anything else, but just blowing off steam while flailing, just set her down so she can flail. If she's intentionally hitting, then that's another matter, but that seems to have been covered above.I just found this thread today when you posted eve. I've got a 3 1/2 yo boy, so I find all of this very interesting. My wife is much better with him than me, but she also spends a lot more time with him, so it's understandable.
Well, she quit knocking herself with legos when she saw it wasn't getting her anywhere...
...and now she has started eating a bite or two and demanding a different food. It's a neverending cycle that I find inappropriate. I will give her one or two different foods at a time, but I won't cave to her demands of other foods. (If she had her way, she'd only eat fruit and cheese.) She is throwing a hissy fit in her room over it at the moment. Any advice to encourage her to give up this picky trend?
...and now she has started eating a bite or two and demanding a different food. It's a neverending cycle that I find inappropriate. I will give her one or two different foods at a time, but I won't cave to her demands of other foods. (If she had her way, she'd only eat fruit and cheese.) She is throwing a hissy fit in her room over it at the moment. Any advice to encourage her to give up this picky trend?
Well, she's still picky. Oh well.
Does anyone have any suggestions for a wrap style baby carrier that I can nurse in? My daughter hated the Snugli we were given, so I think a style change is in order. It would really help me nurture both my newborn (by holding him or her close) and my toddler (by having my hands free).
Does anyone have any suggestions for a wrap style baby carrier that I can nurse in? My daughter hated the Snugli we were given, so I think a style change is in order. It would really help me nurture both my newborn (by holding him or her close) and my toddler (by having my hands free).
Green Gaia
Veteran Member
evearael said:Well, she's still picky. Oh well.
Does anyone have any suggestions for a wrap style baby carrier that I can nurse in? My daughter hated the Snugli we were given, so I think a style change is in order. It would really help me nurture both my newborn (by holding him or her close) and my toddler (by having my hands free).
I never used one, but thought they were neat.
Draka
Wonder Woman
evearael said:Well, she's still picky. Oh well.
Does anyone have any suggestions for a wrap style baby carrier that I can nurse in? My daughter hated the Snugli we were given, so I think a style change is in order. It would really help me nurture both my newborn (by holding him or her close) and my toddler (by having my hands free).
I've never used one either, but the idea is intriguing. Jamie is exclusively nursed and it would be nice to have my hands to myself every once and a while.
Anyone have any ideas about what I can do to discourage hand and finger sucking? Jamie wants to constantly suck. Whether he's hungry or not. He goes for his fingers all the time. I try to get him to take his pacifier and he'll take it for a little bit and then spit it out and go for his fingers again. I'd rather have him on a paci because that is easier to ween from than his own fingers. My eldest had no problem with taking to a pacifier. She never really went for her fingers that much and didn't have the constant thing about sucking like Jamie. Any ideas?
evearael said:Well, she's still picky. Oh well.
Does anyone have any suggestions for a wrap style baby carrier that I can nurse in? My daughter hated the Snugli we were given, so I think a style change is in order. It would really help me nurture both my newborn (by holding him or her close) and my toddler (by having my hands free).
There are lots of sling-type carriers, but I think the best when it comes to quality and comfort is the rebozo carrier:
http://www.babyflair.com/mexicanrebozo.html
Granted, the learning curve is pretty big since it takes a while to practice the winding of the fabric around you and the baby, and also practicing on the repositioning for nursing, sleeping, and such. But the fabric is sooooooooo beautiful and comfortable, and everything molds to the shape that you and the baby make, so it is unparalleled when it comes to comfort.
It's pricey, but it's worth it.
Peace,
Mystic
Draka said:
Have you tried expressing some of your milk onto the pacifier?
Peace,
Mystic