I kind of have someone who I view as valid, on and off my ignore list. I'm not posting this to rub in their face. It's just there were some situations in the past where I felt excluded, and I'm not really good at vocalizing my thoughts in the present - more the future and aftermath. I tend to require two things of my friends and acquaintances. The first is that I want them to see me as valid. The second is more a rule of thumb that I don't like uneven social situations, like I don't like spending time in a room of 3 or 8 or 10 where they've known each other for years, have their own lingo and gossip, and I'm the newcomer. Especially if a lot of the jokes are aimed at me, more or less. It makes me kind of mad. And it also hurts.
I'm not PMing about it to the person right now or anything. Because part of my belief that cooler heads prevail, is not rushing in when a past controversial subject is overly hot. But yes, I think they're pretty cool, that perhaps I haven't given enough positive validation myself to be be "worthy" of it, and so on and so forth.
There's been a couple of social issues for me in the past. The first is that I never feel real comfortable talking on RF Discord groups. Things go fast, and some of them, you don't get given the same consideration within the group, that you would if you were on the forum. I feel. There's also been some concerns whether I'm really transgender and on Hormone Replacement Therapy from some. Yes I am. And yes, there was a point in the past where I did kind of take the best angles in pictures to look more feminine, etc, because I wanted to be considered valid and feminine presenting, and some other different people didn't see me that way. I'm sorry if what I was doing is seen as "tricky", but my life was moving extremely fast, I have repented, and I was going through some things. I didn't stop to think about what I was doing much. Now I try to be a bit more accurate. And my recent pics since I came back, are more accurate.
I think some people have learned to cut me some slack on here though, and it may be important to me because sometimes I come off as fudging the facts when what's happening is when I'm nervous, I kind of think in fantasy/dream like states and lack the ability to properly convey the fine details on something, due to my mental condition and the medicine I'm on. These occasional brain misfirings can lead me to saying some things that I really didn't need to say, like over exaggerating details I think, when I was trying to make simpler points. I think I'm learning though. I'm usually trying my best on here, maybe not always in the Games forum, and learning to function with a bunch of adults in this online community.
So if it turns out things are my fault somehow, I'm sorry for that, too.