The Word "Retard"

[Thief]

Meh, why can't people just call each other idiots or mad?
No need to offend others while your at it, just offend who you are targeting.

everyone is a target....one way or another.

I think the offended need to grow up
How does it go?

sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never harm me

but then there are bricks...upside the head

 

[Deathbydefault]

Admittedly, this is a topic that I might be lacking in understanding so I appreciate any assistance.

The other day, I was watching a game at a bar and one of the players on screen made a huge mistake. One guy I was watching the game with shook his head and said, "that'd be right - the retard we all knew him to be". Immediately when this guy said "retard," another guy turned around to him, noticeably offended, and confronted him about his use of the word. The offended guy's complaint was based upon the fact that he "works with special needs children" and that he is always offended when he hears that word being used. The guy apologised and said to offended guy that he never intended to use the word to offend anyone.

Now, I have an enormous respect for language and love flexible use of the English language so this altercation left me puzzled. After briefly looking at the etymology and considering the past and present uses of the word, I'm still at a loss about this offended guy's reaction.

First off - apparently this was a term that was widely accepted with medical connotations and used as a means to refer to people with mental disabilities as an alternative to being called things like "idiot" or "moron". This was apparently up until the last 15 years when people started deciding that "retard" should be considered an insult. Secondly, the word is used so liberally today to refer to so many different things in literally infinite contexts that to avoid the word would probably only cripple expression.

Considering the above paragraph, it's obvious to me that there needs to be a term that distinguishes people with intellectual disabilities for everyone's benefit however it seems as if the very nature of the topic would doom any term that refers to intellectually challenged people to eventually become a term of insult. This almost confirms to me that simply being offended by something does not constitute any form of argument and by assuming that it does stifles progress.

Idk, it's a dirty topic I suppose - but necessary.

I'm replying to this without reading any other comments, sorry if I accidentally copy someone

It's a word. That's about it.
I do not have any form of understanding for why someone would get offended by a word.
Personally, I have been called a great deal of "mean" names, and all that jazz.
I have yet to be offended, or even care.

It's just weird to me that someone can get so emotional just because a specific word, or set of words was used.

 

[Thief]

let' start a new thread with the title......N......and see what happens

 

[Timothy Bryce]

so if someone were to call you that (because they felt like 'saving time') would that be okay with you?

Yes.

 

[Deathbydefault]

thatsthejoke.jpg

 

[Deidre]

I'm replying to this without reading any other comments, sorry if I accidentally copy someone

It's a word. That's about it.
I do not have any form of understanding for why someone would get offended by a word.
Personally, I have been called a great deal of "mean" names, and all that jazz.
I have yet to be offended, or even care.

It's just weird to me that someone can get so emotional just because a specific word, or set of words was used.

Think it boils down to how much one might respect the person who is insulting him/her. If you don't respect someone's opinions, then you probably won't care what they're saying.
This is why adults still have wounds from childhood over what their parents or maybe siblings said to them. Words can hurt, depending on who is saying those words, and to whom.

 

[Deidre]

Yes.

ok

 

[Timothy Bryce]

I've never met someone to make that claim, I will rethink my word choices.

What if, hypothetically, it could be proven that every adjective could be considered offensive (technically, I would argue that this is actually true)?

Would you give up adjectives?

 

[Thief]

my old neighborhood was a 'mild' form of Fight Club.

you learn to hear the intention....not the word.

call me any name you care to.....I care not
HOW you said it will draw my reflex.....threat heard......threat answered

 

[Deathbydefault]

Think it boils down to how much one might respect the person who is insulting him/her. If you don't respect someone's opinions, then you probably won't care what they're saying.
This is why adults still have wounds from childhood over what their parents or maybe siblings said to them. Words can hurt, depending on who is saying those words, and to whom.

This is the perspective I like. The respect perspective.
If there were any other perspective to win against my own I think it should be this one.

 

[Deidre]

This is the perspective I like. The respect perspective.
If there were any other perspective to win against my own I think it should be this one.

Yes. I think about the people who I've crossed paths with in life who have bullied me say back in school or called me names, most didn't offend me. I don't respect bullies. But, when my dad would say a mean comment, that was very different. Very hurtful. He has since apologized, but that's an instance where words can wound, depending on whose mouth they're coming out of.

 

[Timothy Bryce]

my old neighborhood was a 'mild' form of Fight Club.

you learn to hear the intention....not the word.

call me any name you care to.....I care not
HOW you said it will draw my reflex.....threat heard......threat answered

Think it boils down to how much one might respect the person who is insulting him/her. If you don't respect someone's opinions, then you probably won't care what they're saying.
This is why adults still have wounds from childhood over what their parents or maybe siblings said to them. Words can hurt, depending on who is saying those words, and to whom.

I think there's a paramount truth to be derived from these two posts: the words themselves aren't the issue in question; it's the intention and context in which the words are used which result in meaning.

 

[Deathbydefault]

Yes. I think about the people who I've crossed paths with in life who have bullied me say back in school or called me names, most didn't offend me. I don't respect bullies. But, when my dad would say a mean comment, that was very different. Very hurtful. He has since apologized, but that's an instance where words can wound, depending on whose mouth they're coming out of.

This brings attention to my issue of me not being insulted by people I hold in high regard.
I think you are exactly correct, I just have yet to experience how correct you are.

My parents destroyed any respect I may have once had for them at a very early age,
and my sisters and girlfriend do not insult me outside of jokes.
I do not have many offline friends, and those whom I idolize are out of reach, or out of my contact ability.
But I think if they did truly insult me it would probably hurt, and I would dislike that greatly.

I agree with this perspective, thank you for bringing it to my attention.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

It's the nature of language. Meanings change, things that are implied change, definitions change, and things usually don't remain for too long.

 

[vaguelyhumanoid]

Well what pretty words do you want ?.

None. Nothing pretty or whitewashed. "Disabled people".

 

[Sundance]

To throw my metaphorical hat into this discussion, I personally don't care for the use of the word ‘retard’ (or any derivative) except for in its proper context, especially never as an insult. EVER!

 

[Skwim]

Think it boils down to how much one might respect the person who is insulting him/her. If you don't respect someone's opinions, then you probably won't care what they're saying.
This is why adults still have wounds from childhood over what their parents or maybe siblings said to them. Words can hurt, depending on who is saying those words, and to whom.

And this is how all "insults" should be regarded: by asking oneself if you really care what X thinks. If it's a perfect stranger or someone whose opinion you don't care about, then why give what they say another thought? At times, not many, I've even asked people why I should care what they think. It has always shut them up. And truthfully, I never did care. So, what I find amusing is the reactions of people who take umbrage when someone disparages them or a member of their family; not uncommon in bars. "Your mother &*#@#* and *&^^$% #@^$*!" Oh yeh! Take this," * POW * Or, "Call me a &^%$#* & %^$*& will you." * POW * The reaction is playground childish.

 

[Noa]

This is one of those topics that generally indicates a selfishness and uncaring demeanor by the person that said it. It is extremely easy to teach yourself not to use terms such as this. To not do so is simply admitting you do not care that you are hurting people.

 

[psychoslice]

I think we need to see the funny side of ourselves, I am schizophrenic, my friends make all sorts of jokes about my condition, but I like it, if we can't laugh at ourselves, then we are truly living a miserable life, its after all only labels, what's the big deal, get over it.

 

[Noa]

I think we need to see the funny side of ourselves, I am schizophrenic, my friends make all sorts of jokes about my condition, but I like it, if we can't laugh at ourselves, then we are truly living a miserable life, its after all only labels, what's the big deal, get over it.

The phrase 'get over it' is a nice summary of my what I was describing in my comment.