This thread is so gay

[Kilgore Trout]

Meh, you can't take crap so seriously. And when it comes to humor, nothing should be sacred or off limits. Regardless, I find jokes about white people funny (at least good ones), and I'm not offended. I'd rather not look at people as so fragile and sensitive that they get offended at the slightest provocation, and if they do, that's their problem. If someone is like that, they'll always find something to get offended by.

 

[Magic Man]

Oh sure, among your circle of friends that are accepting of such things "wink-wink".

All bashing aside, what you're basically saying is "come on guys why be so serious, what's a little race joke here or there, or a little gay joke here or there?" "It's not like I really mean them or believe them, it's just fun sometimes."

I get it Mball, no problem, it is just like remembering the good ol days, when we could tell jokes about 3 Jews that walk into a bar, or about pollocks, etc.

Ahh the good ol days.

I'll admit Chris Rock tells some racy jokes, and while I think they are funny at times, there is a limit he crosses, yet as you say, no laws are broken, and some people are cool with it. Complicated issue, as evidenced from this discussion.

What I'm saying is I can understand some people being offended by certain uses of the word "gay", just like I can understand some people being offended by certain jokes. But that doesn't mean we just can't say those things. All it means is we have to be somewhat careful.

 

[Just_me_Mike]

Sure. When my wife and I are watching hockey and they just can't stop gushing about Sidney Crosby, for instance.

And what is the explanation for the lack of catchy slogans when male announcers talk about how good Serena Williams is?
What does it mean that you have a catch phrase like "that's so gay" for gushing over Sidney Crosby, but have no catch phrases for guy announcers praising Serena Williams?

When you discover the reason you say that during the hockey game, you'll discover your ignorance.

 

[RitalinO.D.]

Fact is, it's part of the English language, and people are going to use it. If you are so overly sensitive that you let what people say affect you to the point of offense, then maybe you should work on not being so sensitive.

I've been called cracker quite a few times by certain racial groups, and that just makes me laugh.

I also use the phrase "that's pretty gay" around my gay friends. They use the phrase as well. They aren't overly sensitive about it, or at all actually.

If someone called me a Son of a B****, I would probably laugh, because my mother is friggin awesome. If she were indeed a B****, I would probably agree with them.

People put so much importance on words.

 

[Just_me_Mike]

So let's focus for a second on why you would make that particular comment about gushing over Sidney Crosby. This alone will address both 9/10 concerns and mine. Is that OK with you?

 

[Just_me_Mike]

If the announcers could hear you say that, how should they interpret your comment? Point blank, will it be welcomed or cause for defense to go up? What road do we go down, when it plays out fully?

 

[Magic Man]

And what is the explanation for the lack of catchy slogans when male announcers talk about how good Serena Williams is?
What does it mean that you have a catch phrase like "that's so gay" for gushing over Sidney Crosby, but have no catch phrases for guy announcers praising Serena Williams?

When you discover the reason you say that during the hockey game, you'll discover your ignorance.

When you start listening to what other people are saying, you'll discover your ignorance. Please do so before replying again.

 

[Just_me_Mike]

When you start listening to what other people are saying, you'll discover your ignorance. Please do so before replying again.

Why can't you address my question to you? It was pretty straight forward...

 

[Vendetta]

Fact is, it's part of the English language, and people are going to use it. If you are so overly sensitive that you let what people say affect you to the point of offense, then maybe you should work on not being so sensitive.

I've been called cracker quite a few times by certain racial groups, and that just makes me laugh.

I also use the phrase "that's pretty gay" around my gay friends. They use the phrase as well. They aren't overly sensitive about it, or at all actually.

If someone called me a Son of a B****, I would probably laugh, because my mother is friggin awesome. If she were indeed a B****, I would probably agree with them.

People put so much importance on words.

Ritalin you son of a @#%$

 

[RitalinO.D.]

Ritalin you son of a @#%$

Love you too man

 

[KittensAngel]

You could really learn a lot by actually reading the thread. Then you could get over these misunderstandings.

There's no misunderstanding on my part at all. I posted for the first time in direct response to the OP. You'd do well to realize that so that you don't appear as you do now, in not knowing what you're talking about.

 

[KittensAngel]

Oh but you don't get it. It is only between him and his gay friends, so it is OK. Don't you get it

selective offense? Yes, I do get it. I have gay friends who use as terms of endearment what would otherwise be construed as an insult if a straight said it to them. It's not what you say it's who you are when you say it, as it were.
In those cases, sensitivity is a matter of discrimination as well. And is less credible to be deemed a true offense, when one can permit someone they respect to say what would otherwise be construed as an insult if spoken by someone they don't. :rainbow1:

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, no one can make you feel inferior without your permission.
I find that to be incredibly insightful in that virtually anything can be substituted to send the same message and empower the individual.
Case in point, no one can insult you without your permission.

 

[*Anne*]

So sensibly it would be correct to assume this doesn't help in getting the word gay to be viewed as a positive word. That is my point with your friend, gay or not.

I don't think he cared about whether or not it was viewed as positive since he was among close friends who don't think "gay" all by itself is a negative term. Perhaps it comes down to context.

Example: I would not appreciate anyone else calling me a "B-itch," but my husband can call me that when he's joking with me.

I do understand the frustration over this. I personally don't use the term to describe anything other than what "gay" actually means. I'm not, however, ready to put "gay" in the same category as the N-word, nor can I label the guy who says, "Dude, that's so gay," as a bigot.

Oddly enough, F-*g or the F-word (trying to get around censors ) does bother me quite a bit. It seems when someone says that, it carries some venom.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I'm not saying anything like that. I'm saying younger people are more likely to use the phrase and more likely to accept homosexuality.

Great. Now how is this relevant to anything?

Oh, I agree. I'm saying even among young people who use this phrase, I would expect most of them to accept homosexuality.

And I'm saying that it doesn't matter. What matters is this: does this sort of language harm or help the situation?

OK, you're still missing the key phrase "acceptance of homosexuality". Again, I'm sure it has a negative effect as far as people being offended by it, but that's not what I'm talking about.

But why aren't you? You admit that you use hurtful language, but you just don't care about its effects. This is not the behavior of acceptance, regardless of your claims that you are accepting.

Do you think blonde jokes and jokes about ethnic stereotypes should never be told?

I don't tell them, no.

Actually, there is one joke like that that I do tell:

Q: What's black and blue and hangs from a tree?
A: The mainlander who told too many Newfie jokes.

I assume you posted this before seeing my response. Did that cover it, or would you like me to elaborate?

Well, you didn't really answer my question, but we've already got a side debate going, so there's no need to get into a meta-debate about the side debate.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Sure. When my wife and I are watching hockey and they just can't stop gushing about Sidney Crosby, for instance.

So you use the expression only when calling attention to "man-crushes"? Do you agree that it's inappropriate to use "that's gay" as a synonym for "that's crappy"?

What purpose do cuss words fulfill that other expressions don't? Sure, we could just use one word or phrase for each thing, and have no linguistic diversity, but that gets boring. The reason for using this phrase is the same as using "gorgeous" instead of "beautiful".

Really? In that case, fill in the blank: as "gorgeous" is a synonym for "beautiful", "that's so gay" is a synonym for ________.

 

[Magic Man]

Why can't you address my question to you? It was pretty straight forward...

What question?

 

[Magic Man]

There's no misunderstanding on my part at all. I posted for the first time in direct response to the OP. You'd do well to realize that so that you don't appear as you do now, in not knowing what you're talking about.

There is actually a misunderstanding on your part, which has been pointed out since you posted. That's why I suggested reading the thread, or at least part of it. I urge you to do so to see where your misunderstanding is.

 

[Magic Man]

Great. Now how is this relevant to anything?

Because we're talking about the effects of the phrase on people's acceptance of homosexuality.

And I'm saying that it doesn't matter. What matters is this: does this sort of language harm or help the situation?

That doesn't matter in this case. You're making a different argument. As I've said, it's entirely possible that some people are deeply offended by the phrase. I'm not arguing about that.

But why aren't you? You admit that you use hurtful language, but you just don't care about its effects. This is not the behavior of acceptance, regardless of your claims that you are accepting.

OK, back up a minute. Go back to my original post that started this part of the thread. The subject I'm discussing is the effect this phrase has on society's acceptance of homosexuality. That is a big reason people don't want it used. You're talking about something different. That's fine, but just don't direct it at me as if it's something I'm arguing about.

Now, you're also accusing me of not caring about its effects. That's untrue, and I wish you'd stop. Maybe it's that you're a little too emotionally attached on this issue. I'm not sure, but you're usually better at understanding arguments and responding to them.

I don't tell them, no.

Actually, there is one joke like that that I do tell:

Q: What's black and blue and hangs from a tree?
A: The mainlander who told too many Newfie jokes.

You didn't answer my question. Do you think blonde jokes and jokes about ethnic stereotypes shouldn't be told?

 

[Magic Man]

So you use the expression only when calling attention to "man-crushes"? Do you agree that it's inappropriate to use "that's gay" as a synonym for "that's crappy"?

You asked for an example of when I use it. That was the first one that came to mind. I use it in many different situations. I do not agree that it's inappropriate to use it to mean something like "that's stupid".

Really? In that case, fill in the blank: as "gorgeous" is a synonym for "beautiful", "that's so gay" is a synonym for ________.

What are you trying to prove, and why not just address my actual point?

I understand it goes against your sensibilities to use a phrase like this, but you're not giving a very good argument against it. Yes, some people find it offensive. Some people find dirty jokes offensive. Some people find sexual innuendo offensive. The fact that some people find something offensive doesn't mean that something shouldn't be said. It might mean it should be said with caution, though.

 

[Just_me_Mike]

Now, you're also accusing me of not caring about its effects. That's untrue, and I wish you'd stop. Maybe it's that you're a little too emotionally attached on this issue. I'm not sure, but you're usually better at understanding arguments and responding to them.

What is caring about perpetuating a phrase you admit can be damaging. Why associate yourself with it, even if amongst friends who aren't offended?
You defend this by saying "but I am careful about who I say it around". That alone should be a clue, stop using it.

What good does it do if I talk about black people and stereotypes amongst my friends that are OK with it, but keep it hush hush when around black that might be offended?

If you're comfortable with all of that, then the conversation is over. I think 9/10 is just holding out that he doesn't have to conclude this is the type of person you seem to be making visible.

Look, obviously there is some confusion here, there is some misunderstanding on both sides. The way it looks is that you are OK behind closed doors, joking about just anything, but are careful to not do it in front of the wrong crowd. If you're comfortable in that skin, so be it. If we are mis-understanding, help us out...