Transgenders

[Sand Dancer]

I think we have had a discussion about the DSM before. If I remember correctly most don't like the using of the DSM because it suggests a mental health disorder.

Yes, true, but some of the work is about having legal recourse before the official diagnosis is removed. That's how it worked for homosexuality I believe.

 

[Left Coast]

I'm confused because it seems I see mixed signals/claims from posters so I'm just going to flat out ask...

How many transgender people here have fully completed the transition(all surgery, etc)?

If you don't want to answer that is fine.

There is no one point at which transition is complete for all trans people. Some trans people go through many surgeries, some go through one, some go through none. Either by choice, or because they lack the resources or are otherwise unable to get surgery. But they are all fully trans. Being "pre-op" does not make you less trans than the next trans person.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I'm confused because it seems I see mixed signals/claims from posters so I'm just going to flat out ask...

How many transgender people here have fully completed the transition(all surgery, etc)?

If you don't want to answer that is fine.

It's none of your damn business what people have or haven't had done. You aren't entitled to it, you aren't privileged to it, you are asking people for sensitive medical information.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Let’s not discourage curiosity or someone asking questions.

It discourages polite discourse to ask intrusive and personal questions.
There are ways to ask about things without wanting people to share such private information.

 

[VoidCat]

If I may ask, are you M-to-F or F-to-M

Neither. Im nonbinary that is im neither male nor female and AFAB(assigned female at birth)

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

It's none of your damn business what people have or haven't had done. You aren't entitled to it, you aren't privileged to it, you are asking people for sensitive medical information.

Exactly! We've been telling people for years it's rude to ask trans people such questions, but they still try to pry! I have no idea where people get the notion that they have the right to know such things, as if our bodies are public property. There are stats about this and most trans people don't end up getting genital surgery (although a trans women is more likely than a trans man to do it), and there's various reasons why. Chest/breast surgeries tend to be more common. The obsession with surgery is overblown by cis people sensationalizing it. Transitioning is different for everyone and doesn't consist of a neat list to check off.

 

[We Never Know]

It's none of your damn business what people have or haven't had done. You aren't entitled to it, you aren't privileged to it, you are asking people for sensitive medical information.

Then when I don't understand and you get offeneded, you can just **** off too since you are complaining about questions being asked.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Then when I don't understand and you get offeneded, you can just **** off too since you are complaining about questions being asked.

What do you need to understand that requires knowing whether a certain person has had some surgery?

 

[We Never Know]

What do you need to understand that requires knowing whether a certain person has had some surgery?

For one if a person is a transgender, MtoF and still has a penis, why the hell is a stand up urinal such an issue and so bothersome? They probably used one more than once and still could.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

For one if a person is a transgender, MtoF and still has a penis, why the hell is a stand up urinal such an issue and so bothersome? They probably used one more than once and still could.

Lmao, this is so funny. You should've just PM'd her.

 

[SomeRandom]

It discourages polite discourse to ask intrusive and personal questions.
There are ways to ask about things without wanting people to share such private information.

Whilst I agree it’s rude to a degree.
This is a by default a private issue. Any questions will be intrusive by default.
People will be curious. That’s human nature.
If you rebuff all curiosity it will discourage understanding and maybe lead folks to run into the arms of transphobes who deliberately spread disinformation
I prefer people to be informed rather than that. Wouldn’t you?
It’s annoying and rude, I agree. But the alternative is more hate. To be completely honest

 

[We Never Know]

Whilst I agree it’s rude to a degree.
This is a by default a private issue. Any questions will be intrusive by default.
People will be curious. That’s human nature.
If you rebuff all curiosity it will discourage understanding and maybe lead folks to run into the arms of transphobes who deliberately spread disinformation
I prefer people to be informed rather than that. Wouldn’t you?
It’s annoying and rude, I agree. But the alternative is more hate. To be completely honest

Yeah I'm done.
Its seems as if they don't want others to know to try to understand.

I'm going to stick with what I don't know and the old adage if they have a penis they're male, and if no penis they're female.

 

[SomeRandom]

Yeah I'm done.
Its seems as if they don't want others to know to try to understand.

I'm going to stick with what I don't know and the old adage if they have a penis they're male, and if no penis they're female.

Please don’t.
I mean do you go around declaring openly what genitals you have to the public? Really?

That’s essentially what you’re asking.
Not everyone, cis or trans will be willing to divulge such personal information. Regardless.
Some might take offence. I’d surely take offence if someone asked about my genitalia and I’m not even trans.
Just saying

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Yeah I'm done.
Its seems as if they don't want others to know to try to understand.

I'm going to stick with what I don't know and the old adage if they have a penis they're male, and if no penis they're female.

You gain nothing from knowing such a personal thing. You could ask us our thoughts, if we have plans, and if we don't mind sharing, but instead you went straight for a roll call of a very personal nature.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

For one if a person is a transgender, MtoF and still has a penis, why the hell is a stand up urinal such an issue and so bothersome? They probably used one more than once and still could.

On the ***** side, it's called reading comprehension because I explained my point in that specific scenario. It's not a problem with them, but you'd know that if you weren't struggling with this.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Please don’t.
I mean do you go around declaring openly what genitals you have to the public? Really?

That’s essentially what you’re asking.
Not everyone, cis or trans will be willing to divulge such personal information. Regardless.
Some might take offence. I’d surely take offence if someone asked about my genitalia and I’m not even trans.
Just saying

Now you see what SW and I are talking about, and why it annoys us so much. I've gotten rude, intrusive questions and remarks for years about this stuff. My policy is simple - unless we're going to have sex or you're my doctor, it's none of your damn business. You shouldn't be thinking about what's in my boxers unless you're trying to get in them (and that certainly drives some of this "curiosity" at times, although a lot of them won't admit it). Otherwise it's pretty creepy.

 

[We Never Know]

You gain nothing from knowing such a personal thing. You could ask us our thoughts, if we have plans, and if we don't mind sharing, but instead you went straight for a roll call of a very personal nature.

None of your thoughts or plans are any of my damn business either.
But yet if you would have just input your thoughts and plans, that would have answered the OP.

 

[Subduction Zone]

None of your thoughts or plans are any of my damn business either.
But yet if you would have just input your thoughts and plans, that would have answered the OP.

You could always try to ask questions without getting too personal or too blunt. The trans people here would probably not mind asking general questions but when you do this:

Hey @Shadow Wolf what sort of plumbing do you have?

Response: "None of your damn business creep!!"

To which you can only rightfully respond "Oh . . . . sorry.

You are not going to learn anything when you take that approach.

 

[SomeRandom]

Now you see what SW and I are talking about, and why it annoys us so much. I've gotten rude, intrusive questions and remarks for years about this stuff. My policy is simple - unless we're going to have sex or you're my doctor, it's none of your damn business. You shouldn't be thinking about what's in my boxers unless you're trying to get in them (and that certainly drives some of this "curiosity" at times, although a lot of them won't admit it). Otherwise it's pretty creepy.

Don’t get me wrong here. I completely agree with you.
Your concerns are valid as is your feelings of having to explain something so personal.
It’s intrusive and very rude.
I agree.
I’m just saying people are going to be asking questions out of curiosity and indeed just to be spiteful.
We can’t discourage discourse. But perhaps we might be able to steer it in a better, much less rude direction. That won’t happen if we put up walls automatically. Even though I completely understand why people will do that. And I would too, to be completely honest. I’m not blaming anyone for that
A person shouldn’t have to explain their own genitalia to anyone. It’s insensitive and a very private matter.
I can only imagine how exhausted you must feel having to answer such things.
I’m sorry it happens.
Hug?

 

[Shadow Wolf]

None of your thoughts or plans are any of my damn business either.
But yet if you would have just input your thoughts and plans, that would have answered the OP.

Your OP asked me specifically about my genitals. And asking things such as thoughts and plans, it's far less personal in nature.
There is also the issue of asking if you can ask instead of doing roll call. Seriously, even with far less personal information most people know to ask if they can ask a personal question.