Transgenders

[SomeRandom]

None of your thoughts or plans are any of my damn business either.
But yet if you would have just input your thoughts and plans, that would have answered the OP.

Whilst I don’t think you’re being malicious, do you honestly think it is polite or worthwhile to ask someone about their genitalia?
I mean, what would your response be if I asked if you had a penis?
Mine would be to punch you in the face, if I’m being honest lol
That could just be an Aussie thing though lol

 

[Shadow Wolf]

We can’t discourage discourse.

We can discourage people from asking about our crotch.
It's one of those "don't do its" like launching a personal inquisition on a black person regarding the hair on that person's head.
It's not physical like reaching out to touch a ginger's hair (people are also weird about hair), but emotionally it's an even closer proximity than that.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Hey @Shadow Wolf what sort of plumbing do you have?

It's a plumber's worst nightmare the way I epoxied the hell out of it. It works, there is no leak to be found, but I did use the Bomb to kill a spider.

 

[SomeRandom]

We can discourage people from asking about our crotch.
It's one of those "don't do its" like launching a personal inquisition on a black person regarding the hair on that person's head.
It's not physical like reaching out to touch a ginger's hair (people are also weird about hair), but emotionally it's an even closer proximity than that.

I hear you.
But curiosity will still abound. And it will deal directly with such a thing.
It’s exhausting and I wish it didn’t happen.
Truly I do.
But you know what they say about good intentions?

Not everyone is asking out of a sense of maliciousness. I had such questions myself when I first learnt about gender dysphoria. Granted I was also like 12 at the time. But still.

Ultimately the ball is in your court. I’m not trans so I can only say so much.

You can speak for yourself and your own experiences. I can’t. I can only try my best to be an ally. Even if I stumble all the time.
I’m just asking y’all to have a little bit of patience. Even if that’s not fair to ask of you. I’ll admit to that.

 

[We Never Know]

Your OP asked me specifically about my genitals.

Your plans would be telling me about your genitals.

"I haven't yet but plan to."
"My plan is to stay as I am"
Etc.

My question on the OP was asking whether people completed the transition or not, hell most here I don't know if they are MtoF or FtoM, so evidently I still would'nt know what genitalia they have. Then that could have opened up conversation about the experience, the changes it brought forth, happiness/sadness, ect. or if not does it cause stress, depression, sadness, etc.

But doesn't matter now. I'm sticking to the old adage.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

But doesn't matter know. I'm sticking to the old adage.

And I'll still say it wouldn't hurt to try get off to a better start.

 

[We Never Know]

Whilst I don’t think you’re being malicious, do you honestly think it is polite or worthwhile to ask someone about their genitalia?
I mean, what would your response be if I asked if you had a penis?
Mine would be to punch you in the face, if I’m being honest lol
That could just be an Aussie thing though lol

"what would your response be if I asked if you had a penis?"

It would be "I am a male so yes". No harm no foul.

 

[Aštra’el]

Your OP asked me specifically about my genitals.

Actually, no. It appears the question was respectfully posed to any individuals who were willing to share. That obviously does not include you, who predictably threw a temper tantrum instead and turned this into another “all about me” topic.

 

[dybmh]

I'm sticking to the old adage.

I like you and respect you, but this old adage makes you sound anti-trans and makes me wonder if your question in the OP was intended to validate that.

 

[SomeRandom]

"what would your response be if I asked if you had a penis?"

It would be "I am a male so yes". No harm no foul.

Whilst I commend your openness. Not everyone is comfortable with such questions.
I’m certainly not.
Maybe because I grew up around tradies or that my folks, for all their progressive ideals, were traditional at heart. Idk.
But where I’m from, you just don’t ask people about such matters. And if you do, expect a solid right hook to the jaw.

All I ask is that you don’t let this discourage you from trying to learn. Just maybe open with a different or much less direct question?
Or ask someone in the medical field?
Folks in that field tend to be more scientific about such questions, if you get me?

It’s like asking a gay person if they were always gay.
It’s a question that’s filled with too much baggage. Not your fault. But it is what it is

 

[We Never Know]

Actually, no. It appears the question was respectfully posed to any individuals who were willing to share. That obviously does not include you, who predictably threw a temper tantrum instead and turned this into another “all about me” topic.

Yep the very next line in the OP was
"If you don't want to answer that is fine."

 

[We Never Know]

Whilst I commend your openness. Not everyone is comfortable with such questions.
I’m certainly not.
Maybe because I grew up around tradies or that my folks, for all their progressive ideals, were traditional at heart. Idk.
But where I’m from, you just don’t ask people about such matters. And if you do, expect a solid right hook to the jaw.

All I ask is that you don’t let this discourage you from trying to learn. Just maybe open with a different or much less direct question?
Or ask someone in the medical field?
Folks in that field tend to be more scientific about such questions, if you get me?

"But where I’m from, you just don’t ask people about such matters."

Mostly its a given, known without asking. If its not known, the only way to know is ask.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Exactly! We've been telling people for years it's rude to ask trans people such questions, but they still try to pry! I have no idea where people get the notion that they have the right to know such things, as if our bodies are public property. There are stats about this and most trans people don't end up getting genital surgery (although a trans women is more likely than a trans man to do it), and there's various reasons why. Chest/breast surgeries tend to be more common. The obsession with surgery is overblown by cis people sensationalizing it. Transitioning is different for everyone and doesn't consist of a neat list to check off.

Toilets and my genitals: the only times I'm thinking of either is when I'm cleaning them, using them, or a damn cis person starts acting crazy and blatantly rude (in a way that's obviously rude in any other situation).

 

[Subduction Zone]

"what would your response be if I asked if you had a penis?"

It would be "I am a male so yes". No harm no foul.

Have you lived your whole life with the feeling that sexually you are not a man? Have you face abuse for much of your life because of how you were born? I don't think so.

Now think how you might feel if you were attacked every day for being who you are. You would not suffer personal questions in the same way. I can guarantee it.

By the way. I stepped on a few sets of toes when I first learned about transgender people here. I am far from perfect. I apologized, they could see it was genuine, and we moved on.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Yep the very next line in the OP was
"If you don't want to answer that is fine."

I do apologize for this error on my part.

 

[SomeRandom]

"But where I’m from, you just don’t ask people about such matters."

Mostly its a given, known without asking. If its not known, the only way to know is ask.

Having worked with the public for many years, I must respectfully disagree lol
There’s been quite a few times when I didn’t know whether to say ma’am or sir to someone without causing offence
Just saying. I understand being curious and wanting to know. I do. But sometimes there really is too much baggage to deal with. A minority that is beaten down for long enough won’t always be open to answer happily. I speak from experience as I myself am a minority. There’s certain questions I can’t be bothered to answer anymore. I try. But I’ve just been kicked too many times. You know?

 

[We Never Know]

I like you and respect you, but this old adage makes you sound anti-trans and makes me wonder if your question in the OP was intended to validate that.

Its like this. If a know algebra and then get attacked for asking questions about calculus, I will stick with algebra.

 

[Subduction Zone]

Toilets and my genitals: the only times I'm thinking of either is when I'm cleaning them, using them, or a damn cis person starts acting crazy and blatantly rude (in a way that's obviously rude in any other situation).

My plumbing is very sensitive matter too. But that is only because I am having my bathroom redone and it is taking forever!!

 

[SomeRandom]

Its like this. If a know algebra and then get attacked for asking questions about calculus, I will stick with algebra.

I’m asking you to not do that.
I sympathise with you. I truly do.
But it’s like this.
If you truly want to broaden your horizons, are you really going to slink back to your bubble at the first sign of trouble?

I did. And I have regretted it ever since.
Don’t repeat my mistake.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Then when I don't understand and you get offeneded, you can just **** off too since you are complaining about questions being asked.

It's because you known you wouldn't like it someone casually asked you about your genitals. It's because you know you would be shamed out of the room for asking such a thing in any other situation. And you'd probably understand you had it coming if you get slapped over so casually ask a woman in anything situation about her genitals.