It's about who cares about the ultimate fate of the people of Ukraine. You're saying that as long as people stop dying in a bloody war, you don't care what happens to the people who were invaded and are being repressed by a violent occupier. The Russians could have avoided a bloody war by not starting a bloody war. The people of Ukraine are fighting for their rights to live as free individuals... clearly they are willing to sacrifice their lives in order to maintain their freedom. They BENIFIT by keeping their right to self determination. Why are the Russians willing to sacrifice their lives? In order to BENIFIT from the oppression of other people. If the Russians want to stop sacrificing their lives for that goal, they're welcome to do so at any time, by going back where they came from.
I realize that there's been a great deal of resentment and bad blood between the Ukrainians and the Russians, perhaps going back to the Soviet or even the Tsarist period. The Ukrainians have just cause to be resentful of the treatment they received under Russian and/or Soviet rule back in the day. I would never deny that. (Although, strictly speaking, the Russians also suffered under their own government as well.)
When the Berlin Wall fell, the Warsaw Pact dissolved, and the USSR broke up, I thought we were entering a new era. It seemed that the old Cold War rivalries were ending and we could usher in a new era of peace. I was hopeful and idealistic back then. I grew up in the 60s and all the calls for peace and anti-war messages. During the 70s and 80s, the prospect of nuclear brinkmanship was also foremost on my mind. But I still believed that there could be peace, there would be no need for any war between the superpowers. That's what I cared about then, and I still care about that now.
The thing is, looking back, I realize that it didn't really have to come to this. When the USSR broke up, we had a golden opportunity to establish better relations with Russia which could have been mutually beneficial. Somehow, our relationship soured, for a variety of reasons. That's also another peripheral factor in all this. If we had better relations with them, we might have been able to persuade them to restrain their aggressive impulses.
So, I do care about the people involved, but I look at this situation and other wars around the world, and it just seems like utter madness to me. Why can't people just sit down and talk about their differences like rational adults?