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What is friendship?
- Thread starter Deidre
- Start date
Timothy Bryce
Active Member
I'm still in the process of figuring that out now. I don't think I can trust anyone and I'm freaked out that certain people are conspiring to kill me.
My opinion: friendships are inherently disappointing. You promise yourself things that don't really exist and there is always a context in which someone will betray you; that's life.
I've brutally severed around 10+ "friendships" just so I can keep my own "ship" afloat. This is in the last 6 months.
Life can be incredibly ugly and vicious. So fight!
My opinion: friendships are inherently disappointing. You promise yourself things that don't really exist and there is always a context in which someone will betray you; that's life.
I've brutally severed around 10+ "friendships" just so I can keep my own "ship" afloat. This is in the last 6 months.
Life can be incredibly ugly and vicious. So fight!
Mycroft
Ministry of Serendipity
The sharing of vulnerabilities. We get close to someone the more they – and we – find ourselves able gracefully to depart from the official story of what human beings are like, and can start to show the awkward truths which underlie the cheerful facade. These are the truths with which we have been lonely for too long: how unlike ‘normal’ sexuality our sex lives actually are; how full of envy our careers are proving; how unsatisfactory our family can be; how worried we are all the time.
Revealing any of these things places us in great danger. Others could laugh; social media would have a field day. That’s the point. We can only get close by revealing things that would, in the wrong hands, be capable of inflicting appalling humiliation on us. Friendship is the dividend of gratitude that flows from an acknowledgement that one has offered something very valuable to someone: not a fancy present, but something even more precious, the key to one’s self-esteem and dignity.
Revealing any of these things places us in great danger. Others could laugh; social media would have a field day. That’s the point. We can only get close by revealing things that would, in the wrong hands, be capable of inflicting appalling humiliation on us. Friendship is the dividend of gratitude that flows from an acknowledgement that one has offered something very valuable to someone: not a fancy present, but something even more precious, the key to one’s self-esteem and dignity.
I have had a lot of trust issues too, Good Doctor.
I know how you feel. ((hug))Inherently disappointing.You could be right, and I've tried to turn the other cheek with different hurts in friendships, but friendship is a two way street. Do you have any close friends? I do, but it took such a long time to trust
This is really beautiful, Mycroft...and true. Maybe we are all afraid to be vulnerable, at the end of the day. Is vulnerability always necessary for successful friendships? Lasting friendships? (in your opinion?)The sharing of vulnerabilities. We get close to someone the more they – and we – find ourselves able gracefully to depart from the official story of what human beings are like, and can start to show the awkward truths which underlie the cheerful facade. These are the truths with which we have been lonely for too long: how unlike ‘normal’ sexuality our sex lives actually are; how full of envy our careers are proving; how unsatisfactory our family can be; how worried we are all the time.
Revealing any of these things places us in great danger. Others could laugh; social media would have a field day. That’s the point. We can only get close by revealing things that would, in the wrong hands, be capable of inflicting appalling humiliation on us. Friendship is the dividend of gratitude that flows from an acknowledgement that one has offered something very valuable to someone: not a fancy present, but something even more precious, the key to one’s self-esteem and dignity.
psychoslice
Veteran Member
I never think about it, I meet people, and some I get along with others I don't, and that's the way it should be, we are all different, just go along with it and don't think too much about it, or you will never be satisfied with either way
Gambit
Well-Known Member
Gambit
Well-Known Member
Agreed. Friendships, like everything else in this world, are impermanent. They just come and go.
I don't have close friends to know how to define friendship, but the word "friend" can also be derived to "friendly" so the more friendly the people you know and usually meet up, the closer they are to be a friend. There is also an Arabic proverb that translates to "the friend is there for you when you need them". Interestingly, there is an English equivalent proverb for that which is "a friend in need is a friend indeed".
Gambit
Well-Known Member
The Arabic proverb makes sense, but the English one doesn't.
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Hmm, I thought that "a friend in need" means when you are in need and a friend specifically come to helps you.
I guess the arrangement of words to give the rhythm affected my understanding.
Gambit
Well-Known Member
Well, to me, it doesn't convey that. I would rephrase it as follows: "A friend indeed is one who helps you when you're in need."
Gambit
Well-Known Member
Makes more sense. Too bad it loses the poetry feel to it
Okay. I'll try again:
"A friend indeed is one who helps another in need."
Aaaah, too long to be poetic for me. It does give the meaning tho.
How about: "A friend indeed is that who helps you in need."?
However, anyone could help you if you're in need, not just friends. It has to give the implication that the friend specifically, and being a friend, gets there for you when you really need them.
Friendship is willingness to run risks and go through inconveniences on other person's behalf, because that person's well being is important to one.
I mostly do not. Events decide it for me.
Lots of times. It is mostly a matter of accepting the necessity.
It varies a lot. Friendships are created almost by accident and sustained by delicate cognitive feedbacks that will not work at all consistently. They can and do vary remarkably on intensity, reliability and stability.
Curious George
Veteran Member
You have correctly translated the idiom. The problem comes from how we use prepositions, the phrase often modifies last noun or pronoun.
If you were to better structure it would read:
A friend, in your time of need, is a true friend indeed.
This way we are talking about your time of need in which your friend is a friend.
But to the op:
Friends are people with whom we share experiences and give our love and loyalty. It need not be reciprocated. We may build friendship on a reciprocation of communication and sharing, but I don't think it is necessary.
Having been audience to countless conversations about the few people that are true friends to the speaker because they would do anything for the speaker, I have chosen to instead count my friends as those for whom I would do anything.
1-It's like love and trust some people (not relatives) , and don't hurt them .
2-I don't how to respond to this question
3- help them when they need help .
4-I server/help my friends for free, in most of issues.
5- they told me , "I am good friend,they are proud of me"
I have been a rotten friend for most of my life, but I think that is typical of friends. If I could do it over again I would probably have a lot more friends, because I'd have a lower bar for them to pass. I'd also raise the bar for myself.
Mycroft
Ministry of Serendipity
Not always. But often. Intimacy is being really rather weird around someone, and discovering that, actually, that's okay with them.