What to you constitutes "modest" dress?

[crossfire]

You must be a real cutie. :hearts:

I don't think so.

Are you sure you don't go both ways? :flirt:

lol, positive!

That's called joking around (with just a dash of flirtation thrown in). Couldn't resist.

That's fine. It's not like you groped me or made a cat call or anything like that.

 

[NIX]

I don't think so.

lol, positive!




That's fine. It's not like you groped me or made a cat call or anything like that.

*glad she didn't toss her cookies my way....*

EDIT: The pre-digested ones I meant of course.

 

[Sunstone]

i merely said one can have sexual desires for a person one doesnt know based othe persons body, and that in itself does not diminish the person at all.

That's almost the very definition of reducing a person to their body, MM.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

You equaled thinking you are sexy and wanting sex with you without knowing you to not recognising you as a"full human being"

Reality is a lot of full human beings are oerfectly okay with casual sex with strangers. If you are not thats cool, but pretending the equivalence above is silly.




Well, I rarely go to beach, but when I go I mostly see men with their waist to up the knees swimsuits and women with vikinis. I assume e "usual", with some women prefering more covering swimsuits and a lot of mmen also using shirts (as long as they are not going to the sea yet, but under a sunbrella talking with family and such.

I have no problem with someone thinking I am sexy in their head. I know I'm sexy
If someone tries to have sex with me just because of what I look like that's a different story, I take offence because I've heard how guys talk about women, if a woman is sexually out there and expressive with them she's "the slutty one" if they have sex with her they have "had her" and boast about it.
I don't want to be someone's conquest and I'm not about to sleep with a guy and give him an orgasm not even knowing if he would give me one and when I don't know how he views women and women of colour for that matter. I'm not psychic.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

I am not sure what you mean.

You are saying that if a person wants to have sex with someone they barely met based almost exclusively on looks then this person is pretending the other person is not a full human being?

We rarely need other pele's "fullness" . We dont expect a taxi driver's fullness when he takes us to where we want to go. We just expect him to do just that. Sometimes one enjoys a good conversation too, okay, but mostly we pick a taxi to arrive at some other place and our main concern for the taxi driver is that s/he deliver us there for a fair price.

That of course doesnt mean we wish harm to the taxi driver, nor that we believe he is not a "full human" . Its just that we are more liekly to pick either the first taxi to come by or the nicest looking one. Nothing wrong with that.

First of all having sex with someone for free is NOT a job, it's not a requirement. We expect a taxi driver to be a taxi driver because that is his job and he earns money to pick someone up and drop them off, it's not a personal or intimate interraction!
It's the same way I would be offended if someone wanted hang out with me just purely because their friends were busy that day and they didn't want to go to the cinema on their own and not because they liked me and wanted to spend time with me personally.

 

[illykitty]

My husband and our neighbour work in offices... You wouldn't (or would) believe the disgusting things being said about women there. -_-'

What I'm trying to say though, by modesty, is that if I dress in a way that is more covering, people who respect others regardless will converse with me while the pervs don't even notice me because there's sexier fish in the sea.

I do agree it should not be all resting on women's shoulders and those men have issues but I cover more to avoid those pervs targetting me, anyway, that's how I see it.

 

[crossfire]

My husband and our neighbour work in offices... You wouldn't (or would) believe the disgusting things being said about women there. -_-'

What I'm trying to say though, by modesty, is that if I dress in a way that is more covering, people who respect others regardless will converse with me while the pervs don't even notice me because there's sexier fish in the sea.

I do agree it should not be all resting on women's shoulders and those men have issues but I cover more to avoid those pervs targetting me, anyway, that's how I see it.

I'm sorry to say, it doesn't necessarily work that way. Even wearing full coveralls while everyone else is wearing shorts and halter tops won't stop the cads.

 

[illykitty]

I'm sorry to say, it doesn't necessarily work that way. Even wearing full coveralls while everyone else is wearing shorts and halter tops won't stop the cads.

Works for me and that's good enough. This is my personal experience.

 

[crossfire]

Works for me and that's good enough. This is my personal experience.

Hey, if it works for you, kewl.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

I just say everybody should go into theatre. You can walk around naked and NOBODY CARES.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

My husband and our neighbour work in offices... You wouldn't (or would) believe the disgusting things being said about women there. -_-'

What I'm trying to say though, by modesty, is that if I dress in a way that is more covering, people who respect others regardless will converse with me while the pervs don't even notice me because there's sexier fish in the sea.

I do agree it should not be all resting on women's shoulders and those men have issues but I cover more to avoid those pervs targetting me, anyway, that's how I see it.

I think you have the right to do whatever you think you need to, to remain safe and have soundness of mind based on your experiences, no one should put you down or even question you about it.

 

[Sunstone]

I just say everybody should go into theatre. You can walk around naked and NOBODY CARES.

Sounds like my old apartment, back in the day.

 

[Me Myself]

That's almost the very definition of reducing a person to their body, MM.

Hw is this a "reduction" if the full person was never known?

They are simply taking action given what they know. We do this all the time with everyone. Including job applications.

 

[Sunstone]

We do this all the time with everyone.

You cannot legitimately argue that because something is done "all the time", something is moral.

 

[Me Myself]

I have no problem with someone thinking I am sexy in their head. I know I'm sexy
If someone tries to have sex with me just because of what I look like that's a different story, I take offence because I've heard how guys talk about women, if a woman is sexually out there and expressive with them she's "the slutty one" if they have sex with her they have "had her" and boast about it.
I don't want to be someone's conquest and I'm not about to sleep with a guy and give him an orgasm not even knowing if he would give me one and when I don't know how he views women and women of colour for that matter. I'm not psychic.

Thats cool I dont think you have to at all. The stupidity that yu talk about is common not only in guys but also in gals, the **** shame goes both ways unfortunately, and I ve had to stop more than one female friend talk as if another woman was doing anything wrong simply because she feels comfortable with her sexuality.

In any case, all that stupidity is not inherently linked to that behaviour " heard guys talking" is not "heard all the boys in the world that pick up girls in a nightclub talking"

First of all having sex with someone for free is NOT a job, it's not a requirement. We expect a taxi driver to be a taxi driver because that is his job and he earns money to pick someone up and drop them off, it's not a personal or intimate interraction!
.

Its not a job, true, but so what? Yu were arguing that having an interactiowith someone you dont know fully to saciate a need diminishes them as persons.

I am saying it doesnt and giving you an example of when you need a taxi.

You need a lift. The taxi driver can provide you the service of getting you somewhere and recieves money in exchange. With a person you find sexy in this case, you want sex, the person could have sex with you if s/he so desired and also recieve sex in turn.

Sure, it would be bad if you pretended you wanted MORE than sex and en only wanted sex, but otherwise, its just a win win situation.

 

[Me Myself]

You cannot legitimately argue that because something is done "all the time", something is moral.

Bt I havent reead a single argument that explains how anyone gets hurt, or how is it reasonably different than the way we treat any stranger with which we interact.

We dont fully know everyone of whom we need something from.

I mean here for example, peoe playing football simply know each other ang footbal. Guys saw some guys playing futbol and without knowing their names, favorite color or what not asked if they could join. Are they ignoring anones personhood because they ask to join simply so they can play? OF COURSE NOT!

Why do we pretend it magically happens if it is a try to have sex when we wouldnt say it happens on any other social interaction?

 

[crossfire]

Bt I havent reead a single argument that explains how anyone gets hurt, or how is it reasonably different than the way we treat any stranger with which we interact.

We dont fully know everyone of whom we need something from.

I mean here for example, peoe playing football simply know each other ang footbal. Guys saw some guys playing futbol and without knowing their names, favorite color or what not asked if they could join. Are they ignoring anones personhood because they ask to join simply so they can play? OF COURSE NOT!

Why do we pretend it magically happens if it is a try to have sex when we wouldnt say it happens on any other social interaction?

Did you miss this post?

If you can't differentiate between sex and a common human courtesy, I truly feel sorry for you. (Hint--acts of common human courtesy don't have laws in place to protect people from being victimized.)

Sex is something that one must be aware of things about the other person, such as whether they are of age or not. There are laws in place to protect people from being victimized by sex. Failure to notice these things contained in the law does not excuse one from these laws.

Must people dont have their age tattooed in their forehead o.o

<...>

Again, no one considers all the aspects of the person for every interaction they want to have with a relative stranger.

If you don't check out some aspects of a person you want to have sex with, you might very well be in violation of the law if you have sex with that person.

 

[Me Myself]

Did you miss this post?


Sex is something that one must be aware of things about the other person, such as whether they are of age or not. There are laws in place to protect people from being victimized by sex. Failure to notice these things contained in the law does not excuse one from these laws.


If you don't check out some aspects of a person you want to have sex with, you might very well be in violation of the law if you have sex with that person.

So is giving a drink to a girl you dont know in a bar while being the bartender.

In any case, the girl pretending to be a woman is obviously not feeling any reduction in personhood.

 

[crossfire]

So is giving a drink to a girl you dont know in a bar while being the bartender.

In any case, the girl pretending to be a woman is obviously not feeling any reduction in personhood.

Oh, now it's someone in a bar, not just someone on the street, like your earlier example?

 

[Caladan]

I can't really read all the last pages of exchange here, but just to get back to the debate, out of curiosity... did everyone here had sex only with people they planned to spend the rest of their lives with?