When Can Someone Change His or Her Consent to Sex?

[Wirey]

I completely disbelieve that there are any men who "can't stop".

Ahem (raises hand).

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Ahem (raises hand).

Please don't reveal what your other hand is doing.

 

[dust1n]

I'm going to agree with this. My reasons are:

Sex can be painful. If it becomes painful for whatever reason, there should be a right to withdraw consent. And really, this would not be too uncommon. If it is a persons first time, there can be problems either with one of the partners not being sensitive enough, or there could be a reaction to the condom, lubrication, etc. That should be respected. (Not to mention the many other instances in which pain can ensue).

Sex can also be emotionally painful. There are often cases in which one of the individuals calls out some other name while in the middle of intercourse, and that could have severe emotional consequences, and thus reasonable to withdraw consent...

I mean.. it just seems to makes... sense, right?

I really can't tell if the the opposite belief is a result of some complete misunderstanding of sexuality and lack of experience, extreme religious fundamentalism, or trolling. But I do know it's rather an insane position to hold that someone once you started having sex with someone you have consented to any and all things or should suffer is something bad happens, because it's their "responsibility."

 

[dust1n]

Agreed.

Amen.

Acknowledged.

 

[Alceste]

Ahem (raises hand).

What exactly is it that you "can't stop"?

 

[Skwim]

This isn't about how you chose your partner and whether you got permission to begin. It is about asking the other person to stop once the act has begun. As a male, I have asked to stop when something got painful and she did. But there are many other reasons to stop. It has nothing to do with your partner not deserving to have sex with you. It means that for whatever reason they want to stop having sex with you. Whether it be for a minute or for ever, you need to honor that request.

Obviously you're not entirely familiar with how RF works. When someone (me, in this case) makes a post the includes a quote from a prior post (that of Kerr, in this case) it means the poster (me) is addressing the subject of the quoted material (Kerr's). Here, let me explain it as simply as I can:

Kerr made a post regarding a male's "deservability" of sexual intercourse. He didn't think that any man who couldn't stop himself from ejaculating into a woman's vagina deserved to have sex. In response, I said I found it interesting that "[he] feel a male has to earn the privilege of having sex with a woman, i. e., be deserving of it." Of course my reply wasn't a direct response to the thread's issue, but more of a side issue. Happens all the time here. Stick around; you'll see.

 

[Draka]

Errr. Sexual intercourse doesn't always occur under cupid's arch of love, which is why using "love making" and "making love" as euphemisms for it is rather silly. If using the word "sex" or the term "sexual intercourse" is too embarrassing, I suggest the word "coitus."

"Coitus
​

(kō'ĭ-təs, kō-ē'-)
n.
Sexual union between a male and a female involving insertion of the penis into the vagina."​

Take it up with sunni. He was the one who used the term "love-making" in the first place. Did you not notice my placing it in quotations at all? I was responding to what he said and wondering as to his definition. Usually, when people talk about "love-making" they are referring to "making love" within a relationship. If I was going to talk about screwing, I would have said screwing. Still though, I would have to say the purpose of that is usually to bring mutual carnal pleasure. At least in my experience it has been. To go past that against one of the participant's wishes is to no longer bring mutual carnal pleasure. Just sayin'.

Oh, and for the record, I have no issues saying a multitude of different words for sex, most of which won't make it past the filter here. Some of which might even make you blush. :flirt:

 

[Draka]

Obviously you're not entirely familiar with how RF works. When someone (me, in this case) makes a post the includes a quote from a prior post (that of Kerr, in this case) it means the poster (me) is addressing the subject of the quoted material (Kerr's). Here, let me explain it as simply as I can:

Kerr made a post regarding a male's "deservability" of sexual intercourse. He didn't think that any man who couldn't stop himself from ejaculating into a woman's vagina deserved to have sex. In response, I said I found it interesting that "[he] feel a male has to earn the privilege of having sex with a woman, i. e., be deserving of it." Of course my reply wasn't a direct response to the thread's issue, but more of a side issue. Happens all the time here. Stick around; you'll see.

And yet you quibbled with my response to sunni's post when it came to his term and his definition of it.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

I definitely think that it should change. However, to change the law public opinion also has to change. Which means that it has to be recognized that men also suffer from this ridiculous law.

Changing the law and prosecuting offenders may mean public opinion will have to change. Women have suffered most from marriage contracts but yes men do suffer.

 

[Titanic]

just be thankful you can have sex.

 

[ron4711]

Obviously you're not entirely familiar with how RF works.

No offense, sometimes I read things too quickly and miss the intent of the message

 

[Reverend Rick]

I guess no one has ever experienced overwhelming passion before? Has your eyes ever rolled in the back of your head and you had an out of body experience?

I asked this in another thread but no one made a comment, how long is acceptable a time to stop?

If it took you a few seconds to realise what was going on and that your partner wanted you to stop, would it be rape if it took you 5 or 10 seconds to stop?


How long does it take a runner to come to a full stop if they are sprinting? A step or two right?

 

[Me Myself]

I guess no one has ever experienced overwhelming passion before? Has your eyes ever rolled in the back of your head and you had an out of body experience?

I asked this in another thread but no one made a comment, how long is acceptable a time to stop?

If it took you a few seconds to realise what was going on and that your partner wanted you to stop, would it be rape if it took you 5 or 10 seconds to stop?


How long does it take a runner to come to a full stop if they are sprinting? A step or two right?

Dat true too.

For it to be rape it needs to be purposeful unconsented. There are stuff that take a bit of time to stop and if the partner is really focused s/he may take time to realise what the other is saying.

And for springing a lot more than a step, but thats me

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

I guess no one has ever experienced overwhelming passion before? Has your eyes ever rolled in the back of your head and you had an out of body experience?

I asked this in another thread but no one made a comment, how long is acceptable a time to stop?

If it took you a few seconds to realise what was going on and that your partner wanted you to stop, would it be rape if it took you 5 or 10 seconds to stop?


How long does it take a runner to come to a full stop if they are sprinting? A step or two right?

For gods sake. It's rape when you KNOW your partner wants you to stop and you continue. Overwhelming passion? Please!

 

[Alceste]

I guess no one has ever experienced overwhelming passion before? Has your eyes ever rolled in the back of your head and you had an out of body experience?

I asked this in another thread but no one made a comment, how long is acceptable a time to stop?

If it took you a few seconds to realise what was going on and that your partner wanted you to stop, would it be rape if it took you 5 or 10 seconds to stop?


How long does it take a runner to come to a full stop if they are sprinting? A step or two right?

I don't know - "ouch, get off me" gives me a pretty immediate change of attitude. After all, if I'm trying to give my partner pleasure, why would I have trouble stopping at the moment he or she indicated what I'm doing isn't working?

Count to ten seconds while inflicting pain on your genitals and then tell me if you think that's a fair amount of time. Maybe borrow some dentures for the exercise and clamp them down.

 

[Reverend Rick]

For gods sake. It's rape when you KNOW your partner wants you to stop and you continue. Overwhelming passion? Please!

Get real, sure you ask someone to stop and they say huh? Then you repeat please stop, and the person quits, this might take a couple of seconds. Men are not machines nor do we communicate well at all times.

Now if you said stop and they continued for 30 seconds or a minute, yes that is rape, I agree. Is one more stroke rape? two?

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Get real, sure you ask someone to stop and they say huh? Then you repeat please stop, and the person quits, this might take a couple of seconds. Men are not machines nor do we communicate well at all times.

Now if you said stop and they continued for 30 seconds or a minute, yes that is rape, I agree. Is one more stroke rape? two?

You get real! You're a grown man and you need someone to break it down consent for you to the very second?

 

[Reverend Rick]

From what I see here, Women want to be in control of the situation 100%. Thats fine, but a car going 100 MPH takes longer to stop than a car going 5 miles per hour.

If you don't understand that it speaks volumes about your sexual experience.

I can see this now, "Your honor this man gave me 700 stokes and I only approved of 699 of them, send him to jail!".

 

[Reverend Rick]

You get real! You're a grown man and you need someone to break it down consent for you to the very second?

LOL, you crack me up. If I was that picky about sex, I would buy a vibrator, it has an off and on switch.

I have been married for over three decades, my wife has told me what she likes and dislikes. I respect her wishes and we don't have a traffic light over our bed. :no:

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

From what I see here, Women want to be in control of the situation 100%. Thats fine, but a car going 100 MPH takes longer to stop than a car going 5 miles per hour.

If you don't understand that it speaks volumes about your sexual experience.

I can see this now, "Your honor this man gave me 700 stokes and I only approved of 699 of them, send him to jail!".

Yeah we want 100% control over our sexual freedom and right not be raped. If we don't understand your weak excuses it's because we obviously have a lack of sexual experience and we just want to send men to jail.