When is it accetable to hit a woman back? Redefining self-defense

[Averroes]

I lost a friend last night to domestic violence. The interesting part is he is a man. I mentioned his gender because as a man myself, both he and I grew up with the notion that men aren't supposed to hit women. But after last night, I am not so sure

A brief background.....

My friend was in an argument with his girlfriend at their apartment. Apparently, from what police has told me and the family, my friend was leaving his girlfriend for an unspecified reason. From what I know, they both were on the lease so he was going to move out and live with his mom but continue to pay rent until the lease was up. As he was gathering his things to leave she became argumentative and physical. He did what most men do and just walked away. Apparently it got to the point where he had to go outside and ask for help because she started throwing things at him (e.g. Irons, frying pans). When he finally spotted a neighbor he asked that neighbor to call the police. As soon as this happened my friend's girlfriend came running out the house and attacked my friend. The neighbor panicked and ran away while my friend struggle to restrain her. Somehow she got free ran back in the house. My friend started walking away to get help and like a movie this girl came running out and threw a skillet and it struck him in the back of the head. He died at the scene.

I feel a bit upset that culturally speaking we often see women as weak not just physically but emotionally thus is the reason why parents encourage their boys to not hit girls. But honestly I feel that in matters of self defense I feel if women are trying to attack a male, a man has every right to defend himself against male or female. However this is where it gets tricky. My friend was an MMA fighter and so him hitting her probably would've resulted in him being locked up even if he was defending himself-even if its one punch.

I think self-defense at least by legal standards is meant to protect oneself from bodily harm, but should we encourage men to use self-defense only against other men or would we define this on a general basis? I personally feel if my wife or girlfriend tried to hit me I would restrain her and try to leave or call the cops as my friend did. But I felt like if she continued to assault me as she did my friend I would probably slap the **** out of her, then call the cops.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

Sorry about your friend.

Personally, I would have no problem restraining someone from harming me, but I would never strike a woman, regardless of the situation.

 

[Amill]

When it gets to the point where a woman is purposely putting my health or a loved one's health in serious jeopardy, swing away.

 

[JacobEzra.]

I am sorry to hear about your friend. May he be at peace.

As with your question. I think it is fair enough that if a women is trying to really hurt you, to then restran them. Only if life threating like a women with a knife trying to stab you, should you knock her out like a man.

I have met a few people who hit their women when she was acting crazy like you described, only to get locked up. So since I do not want to get locked up again, I would jsut run :run:Or better yet, stay away from crazy women.

 

[Father Heathen]

If someone struck me, I would reflectively strike back.

 

[savethedreams]

Depends if Rihanna is going through your phone or not, then if she is hit her.... ooops nobody is suppose to know i'm the real chris brown... *runs*

 

[Manfred]

The second she starts to act like a man, she'll get treated like one.
That may be easier said than done though, as I've never had to hit a woman.

 

[Onkara]

Sorry to read this news!
perhaps we should begin by stating that violence is never right between any person. This then highlights how her act of violence is the real wrong doing and your friend was a strong man mentally in his choice of actions.

Personally I feel the way we act can not be easily predicted until the actual situation is on top of us, so the question of acceptability becomes a matter of intuitive reactions, rather than morals or gender.

best wishes!

 

[Orias]

To answer your question simply, I would never strike a woman...without a few mental gymnastics and reasoning. And considering my thirteen years of Tae Kwon Do experience I can offer that self defense is only "self defense" when one's life is in danger, only then can you strike, choke or cause harm to someone. But if you kill them, well then you are pretty much screwed unless there are other eye witnesses to provide otherwise.

If she is coming at me with a knife in a narrow hallway and I am not able to get it from her or restrain her then it would be different, maybe a quick jab to the jaw or kick to the shin to put her on the ground. But otherwise I would take the less conflictive or violent path, if there is one.

 

[Walkntune]

When is it accetable to hit a woman back? Redefining self-defense

When she becomes king at a prom.....
Not making light of your story and I am sorry but equality seems to be used more for manipulation then justification.

 

[ChristineES]

If a woman is being violent and throwing things, I think the man should be able to defend himself.
I am very sorry at the loss of your friend.

 

[Reverend Rick]

You can block punches and try to run away if possible. You should make every attempt not to hit her, but if you feel your life is in danger especially if she has a weapon, knock her lights out!

 

[Manfred]

Wait, is it acceptable for a woman to hit a man in the first place?

 

[Mr Spinkles]

Wow, that is tragic. I am so sorry for the loss of your friend.

I think it would have been perfectly acceptable for him to defend himself.

 

[Falvlun]

Hitting people should never be anyone's go-to option, regardless of the gender of those arguing. If you are in danger, then yes, you should use reasonable force to protect yourself.

The difference between men and women is, generally speaking, a women hitting a man won't likely do much damage; a man hitting a woman is much more likely to cause serious injury. Also, in regards to self-defense, a man usually has size as an advantage against a woman, allowing him to restrain his assailant or escape more easily. A woman may not have these options.

How I see it, anyway. My condolences for your friend.

 

[Levite]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend.

I have always thought that self-defense transcended gender. In normal circumstances I would never hit a woman. But then, in normal circumstances, I would try never to hit a man, either. I would simply try to avoid violent confrontations and fights.

But if someone is attacking you, it seems ridiculous not to defend yourself simply because your attacker happens to be one gender or the other.

 

[not nom]

oh man I'm sorry about your friend as well.

I hope this isn't too insensitive to say "what if", but I was thinking if only he hadn't turned his back on her... because the way you described it, he didn't see she was throwing something at him. if she had ran at him with a knife instead (and intent to kill in her eyes), he would probably have used martial arts instinctively. if you know what I mean?

I have always thought that self-defense transcended gender.

I agree, I think it really just depends on the threat. women aren't by definition less strong than men in all cases.

 

[sadiq]

This is terrible, I'm more than sorry for your friend.

 

[Kathryn]

Wow, what a tragedy. I am so sorry about your friend. I hope that woman goes to jail for murder.

When ANYONE resorts to physical violence, I say meet them on the playground with equal force. Everyone has the right to protect themselves.

Then the next morning, file for divorce and get the hell away from that person. There is absolutely no room for physical violence in any relationship.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

That girl better be arrested...Sorry to hear aswell.