When is it accetable to hit a woman back? Redefining self-defense

[Storm]

Self defense is ALWAYS acceptable!

 

[beenie]

I am very sorry for the loss of your friend.

Of course my first instinct was to say that a man should never hit a woman, but in this case...a matter of life and death is different than, "she smacked me so I punched her" type things we hear every day.

Yes, once she started escalating the violence to throwing deadly weapons at him, he had every right to do whatever it took to save himself...unfortunately he did what most good men would do, and she blitz-attacked him.

I hope she lands in prison for 2nd degree murder at the least. It won't bring your friend back, but at least she wouldn't get away with it because she's a "woman".

Sad all around.

 

[Trey of Diamonds]

I feel if women are trying to attack a male, a man has every right to defend himself against male or female.

Totally agree but the situation you describe is a very difficult one. The woman was obviously not trying to kill your friend, that doesn't excuse her actions but it does limit what your friend was able to do about it. When a woman is attacking a man with the intent to cause physical harm or death then the man is free to defend himself. But in a case like this the woman is not intending to cause actual harm but is intending to intimidate and possibly cause some pain. I'm sure she will say that she had no intention of hitting your friend in the head and it might even be true. In a case like this you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. If your friend had taken action he would have become the bad guy immediately, a fact the woman may well have known and been trying to use.

I'm very sorry for the loss of your friend.

 

[waitasec]

it's called self defense for a reason...
i am very sorry for your loss...

 

[Alceste]

What a terrible story. Of course I think it would have been OK for your friend to defend himself. As an MMA fighter he probably would have been able to defend himself in a way that wouldn't have caused permanent injury to anyone. My brother got the tar kicked out of him by a woman in a bar once and he is a kung fu instructor who smashes bricks with his bare hand. He just refused to hit her back while she was hitting him repeatedly in the face with her shoe. I was thinking "why not at least BLOCK or something". OTOH, I suppose a person who can smash bricks with their bare hand can also fracture arm bones with his bare hand.

As a woman, of course I think it's OK to hit a woman who is assaulting me, and I have done so. I think it's fine for men to do the same, but men with their greater natural strength may need to be more mindful of ensuring the measure of defense is proportionate to the threat, and it may be preferable to depend on restraint (grappling and locks) rather than blows.

 

[beenie]

I agree with Alceste. Joint locks would definitely be something an MMA fighter should be able to do, and without causing permanent damage.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

They should make it so a woman can't hit a man and a man can't hit a woman... Or something some people somehow don't think it will bring peace, nobody should hit anyone.

 

[Trey of Diamonds]

They should make it so a woman can't hit a man and a man can't hit a woman... Or something some people somehow don't think it will bring peace, nobody should hit anyone.

I agree with the concept but goes against our nature. Competition and conflict are as much a part of us as the need to eat and sleep. Remove them and you remove a part of our humanity. It's like Captain Kirk said, "I need my anger".

 

[jarofthoughts]

First; my deepest condolences.
I truly hope she will get what she deserves by the justice system.

Wow, what a tragedy. I am so sorry about your friend. I hope that woman goes to jail for murder.

When ANYONE resorts to physical violence, I say meet them on the playground with equal force. Everyone has the right to protect themselves.

Then the next morning, file for divorce and get the hell away from that person. There is absolutely no room for physical violence in any relationship.

I fully agree with what Kathryn wrote above.
While I have not hit anyone in anger since I was 13, I do reserve the right to protect myself and others from harm should the need arise, a right backed up by law, at least in Norway.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

I agree with the concept but goes against our nature. Competition and conflict are as much a part of us as the need to eat and sleep. Remove them and you remove a part of our humanity. It's like Captain Kirk said, "I need my anger".

Not sure how it helps us survive but if you think so go ahead and beat people to death..

 

[Songbird]

Wow, that's an awful story. I'm truly sorry for your loss. It seems like everyone agrees self defense is always acceptable and transcends gender (as Levite put it).

It seems law enforcement is biased toward women because most domestic violence is perpetrated by men. Which is tragic in cases where men feel helpless to defend themselves out of fear of legal repercussions.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

I'm sorry for your loss, man.

 

[-Peacemaker-]

So sorry about your friend

 

[Me Myself]

I think self-defense at least by legal standards is meant to protect oneself from bodily harm, but should we encourage men to use self-defense only against other men or would we define this on a general basis?

Everyone knows women are more worthy of respect than men so no, women are special and they should be able to hit us with iron until we are dead. (...no)


The second she is throwing stuff at me she deserves whatever my fight or flight insicts throw at her.

O probably would advance with my arms in front and make a lock (is this the name in enlgish? "lock"? like in martial arts?) to put her on the floor.

In the floor I would use a special xhoke that makes oxygen stop flowing to the brain much sooner than what would kill you (you are left unconcious but well). I jknow the choke itself is not harmful at all because one time a friend at Brazilian Jiu jitsu asked me if he could do that to me and he did and I passed out.

I would probably tie her up while she is unconcious and call the police.

Hopefully, this is what I would do, but I can´t tell for sure because it hasn´t happened to me yet. Maybe I would be more violent.

To take advantage of a cultural predilection in this way is not only wrong, but sadic.

So she deserves what she gets.

 

[Me Myself]

The woman was obviously not trying to kill your friend

nonsense. We have a moral right to be inteligent. Or at least not that damm stupid. You can kill someone with a good hit of a frying pan. Does it take rocket science? No. You knock down first you explain the woman later that frying pans to the head might be lethal(...if you feel so inclined..)

 

[Mathematician]

I'm not sexist. If the situation required it, I'd whack a woman in the face just as soon as I would a man. I told an abusive woman this once and she quickly left me alone. I've had way too many women in my life try to ruin my life and health to give two hoots about that type of chivalry. I'm a passive fellow who just wants to enjoy life. If you're going to intrude on my life like that, I'm going to hurt you.

If you give someone an inch, they probably will take a mile.

 

[Mathematician]

Wow, that's an awful story. I'm truly sorry for your loss. It seems like everyone agrees self defense is always acceptable and transcends gender (as Levite put it).

It seems law enforcement is biased toward women because most domestic violence is perpetrated by men. Which is tragic in cases where men feel helpless to defend themselves out of fear of legal repercussions.

Most domestic violence is perpetrated by women, but the most violent examples are caused by men.

Male Victims of Domestic Abuse

A University of Washington study recently found women were nearly twice as likely as men to perpetrate domestic violence in the past year including kicking, biting or punching their partner, threatening to hit or throw something at their partner, and pushing, grabbing or shoving their partner.

 

[Averroes]

Thanks for the well wishes.

Update****

The D.A apparently is pushing for second degree murder. However they told us that she is probably going to plead insanity due to have a baby (post-partum depression) from a previous relationship I believe the child is about a year old. The funeral is tomorrow, and the family is a mess.

 

[Averroes]

What a terrible story. Of course I think it would have been OK for your friend to defend himself. As an MMA fighter he probably would have been able to defend himself in a way that wouldn't have caused permanent injury to anyone. My brother got the tar kicked out of him by a woman in a bar once and he is a kung fu instructor who smashes bricks with his bare hand. He just refused to hit her back while she was hitting him repeatedly in the face with her shoe. I was thinking "why not at least BLOCK or something". OTOH, I suppose a person who can smash bricks with their bare hand can also fracture arm bones with his bare hand.

As a woman, of course I think it's OK to hit a woman who is assaulting me, and I have done so. I think it's fine for men to do the same, but men with their greater natural strength may need to be more mindful of ensuring the measure of defense is proportionate to the threat, and it may be preferable to depend on restraint (grappling and locks) rather than blows.

Yea. That's what I don't understand that this dude knows take downs and locks so I don't understand why hejust didn't do it. My only guess is that he felt that the slightest injury on her would land him in jail cause the law will take her side.

 

[Averroes]

I'm not sexist. If the situation required it, I'd whack a woman in the face just as soon as I would a man. I told an abusive woman this once and she quickly left me alone. I've had way too many women in my life try to ruin my life and health to give two hoots about that type of chivalry. I'm a passive fellow who just wants to enjoy life. If you're going to intrude on my life like that, I'm going to hurt you.

If you give someone an inch, they probably will take a mile.

Your right. Growing up there were a lot of women who tested guys and dared them to hit them. Of course when that happened their reaction is "I'm telling my big brother." Now, its "I'm calling 911." Now daring someone to hit them is one thing, but being attacked is another.