You believe that we become separate from each other when we learn that we will die.
No, I did not say that. I said existential
fear is born when after we have come to identify ourselves egoically, and realize one day we will be no more, the fear of the death of our self-aware "me", not just the body.
Reduced, you say we grow ignorant to the connection all being share by becoming knowledgeable. Perhaps I am slow-witted, but I cannot follow this logically.
This may stretch common understanding here, but the way in which we are aware of the connection with all things functions on an unconscious level. As an infant, or any life-form at a precognitive level, that 'knowledge' is always there. It doesn't leave us as adults either. It is always there, but they are just unaware of consciously.
What happens is that as our conscious minds become more and more self-aware, we begin to become more and more differentiated from the world and others. We have moved into a world of subject/object duality, a world a separations. As we move up this ladder of self-awareness into higher stages of development, the more we become fixated into this dualistic world, the less we know how to respond to the intuitive nature of the subconscious world.
But it is there, always there, buried as it were beneath the debris of the ever-chattering waking mind flitting about in the world of mind-objects. As we still the chattering mind and set aside the world of mind-objects, this now higher conscious mind can hear the subconscious mind directly. The consciously self-aware waking mind peers into a world beyond concepts and duality into both the primal ground of which we are connected, and the unrealized potentials latent in all things; the Source and the Summit, the Ground and the Goal, like a loop from itself and to itself in a process of awakening consciousness.
In this sense, we connect consciously, with eyes wide opened to this. Whereas animals and infants, though aware of this as we are, it is on the unconscious level. They are asleep. And as they begin to awake, at a certain point, we realize we are naked and alone in the world as that self-reflection sees its isolation, caught between two-worlds; a world of ignorance, and a world of pure awareness. As Plotinus said well, "Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts."
I believe we become ignorant to the connection we have with other beings when we observe and take part in selfishness.
In a sense, yes. But understand that selfishness is a natural, and healthy part of ego development in humans. It is how a child is able to develop a sense of self a world of what is mine and what is not mine. The child has to first see who he is, in order to then later in development move that circle around his self wider and wider to include others.
Healthy ego development, which is necessary and good in order for humans to function, moves from a purely narcissistic self awareness in the beginning in order for it to begin to know itself at all, to identify itself with the family group, then later the peer group, then later to its tribal group, to its ethnic or national group, and so on, up to even more advanced identification with the global community, or the cosmos itself.
Selfishness in adults is unhealthy, unless of course it is part of a regression therapy to relearn a necessary and healthy stage of development that was denied them early on, in which case without that that would be simply unable to move beyond it into higher stages of their development. But someone who is capable of moving beyond narcissism, to remain stuck in it is a dysfunction, or a pathology that prevents growth to the next stage. They indeed experience isolation because they are stuck at an infantile stage of development! How many do we know like this?
I think the important thing to understand is that ego is not bad, nor is narcissism. They are good at a certain stage of development, and a hindrance at another. Put it in terms like this.
Is it stage appropriate? If so, then it is good. If no, than its not.
You are right that to expand our circles begins to open us to that Unity. The circle is taking in more. The highest forms of this, so far as we can know at this point, is not a dissolution into unawareness, but a marriage of mind and spirit to that Unity. It is true Knowledge, with eyes wide open. It is ego, transcended and included into the highest states of human awareness.
Reduced, I say we grow ignorant by learning ignorance.
That's true, but we cannot go backward. We have to grow forward to full Awareness.