Why are Christians so sexually insecure?

[pwfaith]

There's no reason to distinguish it by the label 'casual' then, since we have such 'relationships' with various people already, without that moniker. For example, your boss, your mailman.

'Casual' in current usage still implies a romance. And a romance which denies sexuality is doomed to fail, since romance requires communication, and sexuality is an integral part of communication.

Hmmm I don't know. I don't have a 'relationship' with my mailman at all, beyond "thanks for the mail" if/when I see him. However, a casual relationship would be more one of going to lunch together with someone of the opposite sex whom you have no romantic feelings for. Or like you said, your boss. If I worked and had a male boss I would not go to lunch alone with him, doing that imo would be considered more than mere aquantanace and forming a close relationship/friendship. But I would consider our relationship casual b/c we don't really interact unless necessary at work or the very surface level conversations of weather/family/ect.

(I'm not a fan of close/friendship relationships between genders, but that's a whole nother debate )

 

[ChristineES]

Sex without love, to me, is unnecessary. Condoms fail- I have known pregnant women who used condoms. I held these beliefs even before I became a Christian. And what about the emotional attachment that may result? It has happened, to friends of mine who thought they were in love with someone just because they had sex with a person- and the person didn't love them- it caused these friends of mine distress.

 

[waitasec]

being irrationally afraid to eat bacon while having sex is demonstrative of sexual insecurity.

i don't find that sexy

 

[waitasec]

Sex without love, to me, is unnecessary. Condoms fail- I have known pregnant women who used condoms. I held these beliefs even before I became a Christian. And what about the emotional attachment that may result? It has happened, to friends of mine who thought they were in love with someone just because they had sex with a person- and the person didn't love them- it caused these friends of mine distress.

life is full of torment...
there is no way to avoid it...


but thats not to say that life is also fun.

 

[no-body]

If I worked and had a male boss I would not go to lunch alone with him, doing that imo would be considered more than mere aquantanace and forming a close relationship/friendship. But I would consider our relationship casual b/c we don't really interact unless necessary at work or the very surface level conversations of weather/family/ect.

(I'm not a fan of close/friendship relationships between genders, but that's a whole nother debate )

You've pretty much given a great example of sexual insecurity.

 

[Kathryn]

ever heard of condoms?


so with the peace of mind of using contraception can you give us a real psychological benefit?

Providing a statistic of contraception not working hardly counts by the way.

thanks

Ever heard of a condom breaking?

Ever heard of scabies?

Ever heard of getting sexually involved with someone you don't know well, and then all hell breaking loose in your personal life?

If not - keep on treating sex casually and some of these issues may hit closer to home than you find comfortable.

 

[ChristineES]

life is full of torment...
there is no way to avoid it...


but thats not to say that life is also fun.

If I know that something I do would cause me misery later, I think I would do without that thing for fun and find something different that is fun that wouldn't cause misery later. But then, I tend to want to avoid torment that I can prevent.

 

[no-body]

Ever heard of a condom breaking?

Ever heard of scabies?

Ever heard of getting sexually involved with someone you don't know well, and then all hell breaking loose in your personal life?

If not - keep on treating sex casually and some of these issues may hit closer to home than you find comfortable.

Every time I pull my car out of the driveway there is a great chance I might have an accident, I better stop driving.

 

[ChristineES]

Every time I pull my car out of the driveway there is a great chance I might have an accident, I better stop driving.

You would have less danger of being hurt in an accident if you wear a seat belt. And you would have less danger of crashing if you didn't speed or text while driving or drive recklessly. We are talking about precautions here. Having sex with multiple partners would be the same as driving without a seat belt, the way I see it.

 

[Kathryn]

Every time I pull my car out of the driveway there is a great chance I might have an accident, I better stop driving.

You don't have to stop driving, you just have to drive responsibly.

But yes, the more you drive in unfamiliar environments, the higher your risk of accidents.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

Every time I pull my car out of the driveway there is a great chance I might have an accident, I better stop driving.

If that's true, then you probably should stop driving.

 

[pwfaith]

You've pretty much given a great example of sexual insecurity.

Has nothing to do with insecurity. Has everything to do with common sense and safeguarding my marriage. I've known far too many marriages end and/or put through hell b/c of a "friendship" that started out innocent and ended up not so innocent. One doesn't have to be insecure in their own sexuality to fall prey to temptation and destroy their marriage and life. That's not to say there aren't sexually insecure people whom this happens to, only it's not a qualification. I have known men who have said they were completely happy with their wife and sexually satisfied, they made a very bad choice one night while out with the boys and it ruined their marriage.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Has nothing to do with insecurity. Has everything to do with common sense and safeguarding my marriage. I've known far too many marriages end and/or put through hell b/c of a "friendship" that started out innocent and ended up not so innocent. One doesn't have to be insecure in their own sexuality to fall prey to temptation and destroy their marriage and life. That's not to say there aren't sexually insecure people whom this happens to, only it's not a qualification. I have known men who have said they were completely happy with their wife and sexually satisfied, they made a very bad choice one night while out with the boys and it ruined their marriage.

Oh darn...I'm tempted all the time with with both genders...

I should probably never meet with anybody to make sure I don't slip.

 

[no-body]

Has nothing to do with insecurity. Has everything to do with common sense and safeguarding my marriage. I've known far too many marriages end and/or put through hell b/c of a "friendship" that started out innocent and ended up not so innocent. One doesn't have to be insecure in their own sexuality to fall prey to temptation and destroy their marriage and life. That's not to say there aren't sexually insecure people whom this happens to, only it's not a qualification. I have known men who have said they were completely happy with their wife and sexually satisfied, they made a very bad choice one night while out with the boys and it ruined their marriage.

If you're going to cheat, you're going to cheat no matter who you are friends with. This sounds as effective as putting a hijab on a woman to keep men from being tempted.

But still I think Christs "If your hand offends you cut it off" is an insane ideology to begin with.

 

[pwfaith]

If you're going to cheat, you're going to cheat no matter who you are friends with. This sounds as effective as putting a hijab on a woman to keep men from being tempted.

But still I think Christs "If your hand offends you cut it off" is an insane ideology to begin with.

I disagree. I think people can put themselves in the wrong situations. I think it's very realistic. Temptations are real. Being tempted is not wrong. Giving into it is. I prefer not to put myself into a situation where giving into it could happen, when possible. I also prefer not to give my husband a reason to doubt my faithfulness. Yes yes I know if our relationship is strong, he shouldn't. No marriage is strong all the time. That's unrealistic. Trust is HUGE in our marriage and I never want to do anything to cause that trust to waiver. Thankfully he feels the same way. I have been there and had that trust waiver and questioned my husband's faithfulness (thankfully it was all a misunderstanding, all his fault ) but I prefer to never put him through that or go through it myself again. That's not to say we can't have acquaintances or friends of the opposite sex We just do not build deep intimate friendships with people of the opposite sex.

I highly recommend Hedges by Jerry Jenkins to fully understand where we are coming from Here is a blog review of the book JOLLYBLOGGER: Review of "Hedges" by Jerry Jenkins

 

[no-body]

JOLLYBLOGGER: Review of "Hedges" by Jerry Jenkins

A great example of Christian sexual insecurity, thank you.

Never be alone with a member of the opposite sex to whom you are not married.
Avoid certain kinds of touching members of the opposite sex to whom you are not married - i.e. watch who and how you hug.
Avoid all flirtation.
Don't compliment members of the opposite sex, or at least be very reserved in complimenting them. In other words, say things like "I like your hair," or "nice dress," but not "wow, you are beautiful."

Words fail.

 

[pwfaith]

A great example of Christian sexual insecurity, thank you.

Words fail.

You are certainly entitled to your opinion I disagree.

 

[waitasec]

You are certainly entitled to your opinion I disagree.

here's my opinion,

if i rely on other people to tell me what i can or can not do in order to keep me from staying faithful to my husband....i'm doomed to be unfaithful.

 

[Pegg]

seeming that Christianity developed from Paganism why are most Christians so hung up on the sex issue? Correct me if I"m wrong but I'm sure this isn't the case with Paganism.

For instance, pre-marital sex is NOT banned in Paganism, right?

I know you can interpret the Bible in many ways but the general consensus among most Christians is that Pre-marital and homosexuality is a big no no (even though Jesus certainly never directly mentions pre-marital).

This is a big turn-off (excuse the pun) to Christianity for me which is a shame as some of the philosophy is good.

Surely men and women were made with biological instincts so what's the problem with the Christians and what are they scared of?

unlike in paganism, we have rules governing sexual relations

 

[Sunstone]

I wish I had more temptations to give in to.