Why are Christians so sexually insecure?

[rusra02]

Has nothing to do with insecurity. Has everything to do with common sense and safeguarding my marriage. I've known far too many marriages end and/or put through hell b/c of a "friendship" that started out innocent and ended up not so innocent. One doesn't have to be insecure in their own sexuality to fall prey to temptation and destroy their marriage and life. That's not to say there aren't sexually insecure people whom this happens to, only it's not a qualification. I have known men who have said they were completely happy with their wife and sexually satisfied, they made a very bad choice one night while out with the boys and it ruined their marriage.

Well said!

 

[Kathryn]

I disagree. I think people can put themselves in the wrong situations. I think it's very realistic. Temptations are real. Being tempted is not wrong. Giving into it is. I prefer not to put myself into a situation where giving into it could happen, when possible. I also prefer not to give my husband a reason to doubt my faithfulness. Yes yes I know if our relationship is strong, he shouldn't. No marriage is strong all the time. That's unrealistic. Trust is HUGE in our marriage and I never want to do anything to cause that trust to waiver. Thankfully he feels the same way. I have been there and had that trust waiver and questioned my husband's faithfulness (thankfully it was all a misunderstanding, all his fault ) but I prefer to never put him through that or go through it myself again. That's not to say we can't have acquaintances or friends of the opposite sex We just do not build deep intimate friendships with people of the opposite sex.

I agree wholeheartedly with this, PW.

My husband works all over the globe. He's a handsome, outgoing, and frankly charming man. He's gone for weeks at a time.

Meanwhile, I'm keeping the home fires burning. I'm also an outgoing, friendly person who for whatever reasons many men find attractive.

We determined a long time ago that we need to lay out some boundaries in order to safeguard our marriage.

We don't go out partying with our friends and co workers when we're alone.

We don't get involved with online chat.

We don't invite or allow a friend or coworker of the opposite sex into our home or hotel room when we are alone.

Our lives are an open book - each has full access to the other's email, Facebook, cell phone, websites, etc - not that we ever bother to check up on the other, but my point is, there are no secrets.

Porn has no place in our relationship.

When he's home and we have the opportunity to spend time together rather than be apart, that time together takes TOP PRIORITY. Every other social or work related demand is put aside.

 

[839311]

the sex issue?

Ewww...

:tsk:

 

[sojourner]

And to think that that is how God made us...

Imagine the horror of something created to be so free that it is subject to the same permutations that made it that way! Imagine!

 

[sojourner]

Conservative Christians make up the majority, and I can guarantee the majority of conservative Christians do NOT agree with that statement at.all.

Hence, the OP...

God created sex to ideally be between a married man and woman.

And you know this ... how, exactly?

As someone said earlier, responsibility. I agree with that. Does being married automatically mean a happier family? No. But in my belief the ideal is a loving mother and a loving father so that a child grows up with both dimensions in their life. I do believe a child ends up missing a great part developmentally without one or the other in their life. In discussing this on another site, another thing that came up was STD's. STD's would be practically nonexistent if premarital sex did not exist. We wouldn't need our 12 yr olds getting vaccines for STD's that cause cancer and having all these adverse side effects from it if people weren't so "whatever" about sex. Babies are having babies b/c of this "have sex whenever, where ever, do whatever you want" mentality our society has taken on.

And how does this lack of responsibility translate to homosexuality? Can homosexuals not be monogamous and responsible?

What about Sweden? Sweden is far more liberal and sexually open than the US -- and has far fewer problems with the issues you mention. In what way have "conservative Xian values" helped them?

I think your premise is patently wrong here.

 

[sojourner]

As I said, God's design is for sex to be within the confines of marriage and statistics show it is more beneficial to us as individuals, couples and as a community when we follow His design.

Apparently, "God's design" also allowed for multiple wives and concubines. Read your bible sometime.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Ah, soj....I adore you, man. :hug:

And I stand by my statement. Some of the most incredible lovers I've known were (and still are) Christian.

I don't think they themselves were insecure at ALL.

 

[sojourner]

The Bible is quite clear that fornication and homosexuality are sins. (1 Corinthians 6:9,10)

The biblical writers had no concept of sexual preference. Your modern interpretation of what was written long ago is incorrect.

• AIDS, and other STDs
• Unwanted pregnancies, many ended by aborting the unborn child
• Single parent families, with children often raised in poverty
• Parents unready for the responsibility of child-rearing, resulting in child neglect and abuse
• Emotional distress,Depression, and Suicide
• Harm to the family of those committing such acts

These things are bad, but not all are limited to fornicators and homosexuals. Many instances of child neglect and abuse come from wedded families.

So true Christians will refrain from fornication and homosexual conduct,

True Christians also refrain from foisting their unwarranted and misguided opinions on others...

 

[sojourner]

In case of the premarital sex issue, the Church does not allow it because we believe that it's sacred, hence, should be done through sanctification/blessing of marriage. In the case of homosexuality, my view about it is that the Church doesn't actually condemn this people, but the act of homosexuality. We do not "attack" these individuals; we "attack" the issue.

That's such a false approach! When you attack the act, you are attacking the person. Homosexuality isn't about some sinful act, it's about people who are sexually attracted to each other. It's about how one is oriented. One's sexuality is a highly personal thing -- and inescapable, like the color of one's skin. Are blacks sinful because they're black? What about when they engage in black cultural acts? Are those acts sinful because they're part of black culture?

The RCC seriously needs to embrace post-modernism.

 

[sojourner]

You can blame Paul for the prudishness.

If it's just their own genitals, I wouldn't say it is insecurity I can respect wanting to wait till marriage. It's when they try to tell society what to do with its genitals that I have the problem.

With Paul it was gentiles not "genitals."

 

[sojourner]

:redxeople are afraid of the Human body.

And that largely comes from Paul's treatment of Platonism: Body=bad/spirit=good.

 

[sojourner]

There was nothing, God created the institution of marriage with Adam & Eve

:biglaugh::biglaugh:

Habeas corpus: Show me the body. I wanna see the proper certificate properly filed and on record in the Eden County Courthouse. Who was the officiating clergy? Who were the witnesses? Every legal marriage needs witnesses!

The story of Adam and Eve had nothing to do with marriage.

 

[not nom]

Habeas corpus: Show me the body.

I was just going to say, that's what makes me sexually insecure.. everybody just wants my body :sad:

 

[sojourner]

Ah, soj....I adore you, man. :hug:

And I stand by my statement. Some of the most incredible lovers I've known were (and still are) Christian.

I don't think they themselves were insecure at ALL.

This goes back to my statement about Sweden. Insecurity is bred when we are taught to think that bodies are bad. American culture is rife with this sort of puritanical nonsense. Sweden is not. Hence, less sexual problems. When bodies are good, we can be proactive. When bodies are bad, we are helpless.

 

[not nom]

When bodies are good, we can be proactive.

may this help those who need help ^^

[youtube]dHCkheMECeQ[/youtube]
Toe Jam - YouTube

 

[MysticSang'ha]

This goes back to my statement about Sweden. Insecurity is bred when we are taught to think that bodies are bad. American culture is rife with this sort of puritanical nonsense. Sweden is not. Hence, less sexual problems. When bodies are good, we can be proactive. When bodies are bad, we are helpless.

I agree. Bravo!

(and wait a bit so I can frubal you again)

 

[McBell]

Imagine the horror of something created to be so free that it is subject to the same permutations that made it that way! Imagine!

thank you for furthering my point.

 

[Alceste]

I agree wholeheartedly with this, PW.

My husband works all over the globe. He's a handsome, outgoing, and frankly charming man. He's gone for weeks at a time.

Meanwhile, I'm keeping the home fires burning. I'm also an outgoing, friendly person who for whatever reasons many men find attractive.

We determined a long time ago that we need to lay out some boundaries in order to safeguard our marriage.

We don't go out partying with our friends and co workers when we're alone.

We don't get involved with online chat.

We don't invite or allow a friend or coworker of the opposite sex into our home or hotel room when we are alone.

Our lives are an open book - each has full access to the other's email, Facebook, cell phone, websites, etc - not that we ever bother to check up on the other, but my point is, there are no secrets.

Porn has no place in our relationship.

When he's home and we have the opportunity to spend time together rather than be apart, that time together takes TOP PRIORITY. Every other social or work related demand is put aside.

It's interesting how different couples build trust and intimacy differently. We haven't got any restrictions on what we can do whether together or apart. I even shared a flat with a close male friend for a month making a film in another city. I would never do anything to hurt him and he knows it. We make no effort to avoid temptation. We just trust each other to have enough backbone to do the right thing regardless of the circumstances.

 

[Majikthise]

Trust is one of the most important aspects of a relationship, but respect is also just as important.

 

[sojourner]

thank you for furthering my point.

so, in other words, you're looking for a life that has very limited possibilities?

Interesting!