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Why are Incels such hateful people ?

Massimo2002

Massimo2002

Active Member
Brickjectivity said:
I think public education is letting a lot of people down. I'm not surprised, however, that a web site designed to let people vent and call themselves 'Incel' has a lot of negative conversation. Most likely its not how they always talk.
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So you think that they do talk like this in real life ?
 
Massimo2002

Massimo2002

Active Member
JustGeorge said:
What gets me a bit(and I might be wrong), is that it seems to be upset not over not being able to attract women... but anger over not attracting a certain type of woman.

I wonder, if some of the movement is a response to how communications have changed. It seems more and more common that people don't date from a pool of people they know, and friends of friends, but rather through online dating services. While I've seen successful matches from this(have a few family members who this worked for), it removes some of the humanity from these experiences and makes it more like 'product'. Being as the incel movement seems most prevalent in younger men, I wonder if this push of 'attraction' being more like marketing than relationship makes it hard to relate to women as... well, human.

Just pondering...
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Your observation is right on the money sadly millennials and my generation z are becoming through no controllable fault of our own dehumanized by 21st century Electronic technology.
 
Massimo2002

Massimo2002

Active Member
Brickjectivity said:
I believe we enjoy hearing other's complaints, so long as they are entertaining enough. Its similar to the reasons why people listen to rumors. After hearing only one side we nevertheless feel informed, unless we are anxious or have experience. Some people who tend more towards anxiety will be more likely to see problems with the one side, but most people will feel fine. Anxiety is such a curse when hearing one side only. ;)


I think incels are the result of the anxiety surrounding marriage. Most incels are probably older, but there are plenty of young ones. I think a good place to look for causes is Japan where young people are opting out of marriage. People have seen how unhappy married life can get, however without marriage or civil unions relationships get a lot harder to establish.

Also nobody is taught to dance, and families put a lot of religious strictures on their kids. Its like pressure to be something you are not confluxed with pressure to be honest. Families have this crazy belief that they can genuinely make their children believers, and there is a lot of emphasis on acting like a believer. Go into almost any church. You must act as if you are the biggest believer on the planet, or you are a space alien in there. And nobody dances. I mean the alternative is a dive bar. That's it. You meet people at church or in a bar. Those are your choices.
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You are wrong meeting people can happen anywhere and at any moment outside it's not only relegated to a church or a bar.
 
Koldo

Koldo

Outstanding Member
JustGeorge said:
That's kinda what I thought...

I admit what I know about the movement could fit on the head of a pin, but what I've run across seems to suggest its made up of men who are angry because supermodels(well, high maintenance women) aren't interested in becoming intimate with them. Because of that, they end up hating women in general(and men who have an easier time with them).

Yes, uniting in anything over anger and hate will only bring forth angry and hateful people...
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That's not it. Supermodels have always been out of most male's reach. What bothers incels in general is that they perceive themselves as having a much harder time, than their parents had, to date women that would have been within their league if they were living decades ago.

Since online dating became a thing, it became much easier for women in general to get male attention from people outside their social circles, thus allowing them to have a wider number of alternatives. And since female hypergamy never ceased to be a trend (if anything it is even more of a thing nowadays), this made dating life significantly harder for young males.
 
JustGeorge

JustGeorge

Imperfect
Staff member
Premium Member
Koldo said:
That's not it. Supermodels have always been out of most male's reach. What bothers incels in general is that they perceive themselves as having a much harder time, than their parents had, to date women that would have been within their league if they were living decades ago.

Since online dating became a thing, it became much easier for women in general to get male attention from people outside their social circles, thus allowing them to have a wider number of alternatives. And since female hypergamy never ceased to be a trend (if anything it is even more of a thing nowadays), this made dating life significantly harder for young males.
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Ah, I see. Thanks for further clarifying.

Has there been any advantages at all for men with the onset of online dating, generally speaking?
 
Stevicus

Stevicus

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
Koldo said:
That's not it. Supermodels have always been out of most male's reach. What bothers incels in general is that they perceive themselves as having a much harder time, than their parents had, to date women that would have been within their league if they were living decades ago.

Since online dating became a thing, it became much easier for women in general to get male attention from people outside their social circles, thus allowing them to have a wider number of alternatives. And since female hypergamy never ceased to be a trend (if anything it is even more of a thing nowadays), this made dating life significantly harder for young males.
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This is a good point. The online culture has ostensibly affected dating and social life in many different ways. Or even just the spread of cellphones.

I saw a picture of people sitting around a bar, but no one was talking to each other. Everyone was glued to their phones.

Back in the 70s and 80s, the term "incel" didn't exist, although it would probably seem different because there was no online dating (although personal ads existed). I don't know if it was more difficult back then than now. Social attitudes seemed different, although they were in a state of flux as a result of the changes that had already been going on, in terms of civil rights, sexual mores, equality, etc. The old rules were being thrown out, but the new rules were still a work in progress. I think the youth back then honestly didn't care much about rules and just wanted to have fun.

Nowadays, people seem to have in their minds about how their lives are "supposed to be" and trying to conform to some mold by comparing their lives to others and see how they measure up. There's also a fear that they're "missing out" on something. The internet may give them a glimpse into a world and lifestyles they wouldn't ordinarily see in their own real world.

I recall reading that television was a contributory factor in some of the urban upheavals and other disturbances during the 60s, since more people among the lower classes were getting TVs and starting to see just how poor they actually were. I've heard a lot of people say they grew up poor but didn't realize it at the time. Or at least, it didn't figure into their worldview or their perception of life around them.

So, this could be the case with the incels, who might see a world of wonder and infinite pleasure at their fingertips, but somehow, it's still out of their reach, which makes them frustrated and bitter.
 
Massimo2002

Massimo2002

Active Member
ChristineM said:
Basic all people are unimportant. Just one person of 8 billion + people.

Some people get themselves noted for something or other, fame for 15 minutes until the press find something else to sell their news
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But why are most people useless according to you ?
 
Massimo2002

Massimo2002

Active Member
ChristineM said:
Unimportant is not useless.
Why are they unimportant? They don't do anything to get them noticed on the world stage. Trust me on this, it's more often than not a good thing.
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That doesn't sound like a good thing because unimportant to me sounds like being useless and every human should want to make some sort of higher impact upon this world or on other humans or both.
 
ChristineM

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
Massimo2002 said:
That doesn't sound like a good thing because unimportant to me sounds like being useless and every human should want to make some sort of higher impact upon this world or on other humans or both.
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Depends on the impact, often enough i can impact friends and neighbors, even the local village. It's important locally but unimportant on a larger scale.

You, for example, could say "good morning" to a passing hobo, is it unimportant? Not to the hobo, it'll probably make his/her day.

We can't all be astronauts, presidents etc, as i said earlier you are one of over 8 billion people. But remember, among those people,you are unique
 
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