Rainbow Mage
Lib Democrat/Agnostic/Epicurean-ish/Buddhist-ish
This is like asking- why are women attracted to gay men?
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Why are Some Men Sexually Interested in Lesbians?
- Thread starter Sunstone
- Start date
This is like asking- why are women attracted to gay men?
Twig pentagram
High Priest
It's all the same to me.
I don't think it's generally true that who people are attracted to is based on who would be interested in having sex with them. A hot woman who only has sex with other women is still a hot woman.
Also, I think there's sometimes a bit of "I know she doesn't like men normally, but I'm not a normal man - I'd be sexually irresistible to her AND her girlfriend"-type thinking going on.
Skwim
Veteran Member
I think men are interested in lesbians for the same reason some men visit prostitutes or ogle strippers, what's going on upstairs in the female head isn't important. It's the female body and what such men imagine they might be doing with it that's important. As for being interested in a lesbian simply because they're homosexual, this is something I've never heard of, and imagine is quite rare. Of course there's always those who see such people as a challenge: "I
was able to turn a lesbian into a heterosexual sexual animal."
Father Heathen
Veteran Member
Men like the fake lesbians in porn, which caters to them specifically, more so than the real ones. Of course you'll also have girls who just act bi at parties and such simply for the attention factor.
Aquitaine
Well-Known Member
As Smoke pointed out earlier, a lot of guys find Jessica Alba hot - and yeah, she ain't gonne be interested in them, so it's not really about being attracted to people that won't be attracted to you.
I suppose it's because guys find Women attractive, so the concept of two Women making out is kinda like a bonus - because it's not one - but two!
I'm friends with a lesbian couple who're both attractive. Fashion-speaking, one of them is more of a lipstick lesbian, the other is the more "checkered shirt, baggy pants and dyke haircut" type - and it's great when they make out........ because it just is!
So there!
I suppose it's because guys find Women attractive, so the concept of two Women making out is kinda like a bonus - because it's not one - but two!
I'm friends with a lesbian couple who're both attractive. Fashion-speaking, one of them is more of a lipstick lesbian, the other is the more "checkered shirt, baggy pants and dyke haircut" type - and it's great when they make out........ because it just is!
So there!
I'm rather astonished that more people don't care whether or not their partners are sexually interested in them. I would think that people would be averse to a sexually indifferent partner. In my experience, having sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex with you is about as close as sex will ever get to making you puke.
Smoke
Done here.
I would imagine that straight men who fantasize about lesbians also fantasize that the lesbians are interested in them. What they really need, I guess -- if they want to make their fantasies a reality -- is to go find some nice bisexual girls.
But then, some people are happy just to watch, too.
There is a huge difference, on the one hand, between simply looking at Jessica Alba and thinking, "She's beautiful", and, on the other hand, feeling or actually experiencing Jessica Alba's sexual indifference to you while the two of you are in bed together. I can see what you and Smoke are saying about finding a lesbian who you are merely looking at to be pretty or beautiful. But I do believe that neither you nor Smoke have any experience of someone sexually rejecting you in bed if you or Smoke naively think that's on the same emotional level as looking at a lesbian. It's simply not.
I hope I'm not misrepresenting you or Smoke's position here.
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That would be my guess too, but from what people have been saying in this thread, it would seem that at least some men simply don't care one way or the other whether their partner is interested in them. That surprises me.
Smoke
Done here.
I think the fact that a lot of men are willing to get women drunk so they'll have sex with them shows that some men don't care whether their partners are really interested in them. I don't understand it either, though.
It's kind of the same thing with prostitution. If I had to pay somebody to have sex with me, that would ruin it for me. But it's obvious that everybody doesn't feel that way.
The Neo Nerd
Well-Known Member
But that's not exactly a likely scenario either. It's not like the lesbian woman, confronted with the straight guy's advances, is going to respond with "all right, I'll have sex with you... but I won't enjoy it."
I don't think that many guys who fantasize about a lesbian are really thinking of the scenario you suggest. By the time the fantasy involves heterosexual sex, the ship's pretty much sailed on plausibility. It's not really that much less implausible to imagine that the woman will be a willing (or even enthusiastic) partner.
I suppose a way to understand why so many guys have fantasies of sex with lesbians is to recognize that it must be very few guys have actually had sex with lesbians.
Perhaps they fantasize that the lesbians are actually bi. Or they just like seeing females, and two females are better than one. They get to see female sexuality without naked males in the picture.
It may just be the aesthetics of it for some men. I find some actors to be incredibly beautiful (like Ryan Reynolds
). I don't want to have sex with someone I don't know, so it's a purely aesthetic trigger. Like the OP, I don't understand at all the desire to have sex with someone that does not feel the same desire in return.
I know a girl that is intensely attracted to gay men. Not just in the sense that she likes to have gay men as friends (which a lot of women seem to), but in the sense that in addition to that, she is extremely sexually attracted to gay men. She can't articulate the reasons to me.
I don't think sexuality is meant to be logical. Can a male explain why, exactly, he is attracted to a boob? Why not the elbow? Probably because the breasts are a primary secondary sex difference between the genders. It's got a logical background but the result is simply that they are attracted to them.
It may just be the aesthetics of it for some men. I find some actors to be incredibly beautiful (like Ryan Reynolds
). I don't want to have sex with someone I don't know, so it's a purely aesthetic trigger. Like the OP, I don't understand at all the desire to have sex with someone that does not feel the same desire in return. I know a girl that is intensely attracted to gay men. Not just in the sense that she likes to have gay men as friends (which a lot of women seem to), but in the sense that in addition to that, she is extremely sexually attracted to gay men. She can't articulate the reasons to me.
I don't think sexuality is meant to be logical. Can a male explain why, exactly, he is attracted to a boob? Why not the elbow? Probably because the breasts are a primary secondary sex difference between the genders. It's got a logical background but the result is simply that they are attracted to them.
It's real simple Phil, I see lots of sexy women I would enjoy having sex with. I would say that the feeling is not mutual with many of them gay or straight.
Having the hots for unobtainable women is commonplace with men.
Does having sex with a bi-sexual woman count?
EnvisionsFutura
Visionary Revolutionary
So far, I'm hearing a lot about the physical reasons a man would be attracted to a lesbian. Yeah, she's got the biological cunterparts a man needs for his man parts to fulfill.
What about pondering a bit deeper than skin?
What about the personality aspects of a lesbian in comparison to a heterosexual female? When I think of lesbian or gay, I think of someone who MAY be more comfortable with their masculine, feminine and sexual side. I've had very strong attractions to certain gay men, finding them to be quite confident, openly expressive, in touch with their hip gyrations while dancing, (ohhhhhhhm nom nom XD), friendly. I've seen this in certain lesbians too, active strength of character for example. Some heterosexual males and females are quite insecure with their sexual identity among many other aspects of themselves and others. Some homosexuals too.
I want to address others beyond strict homo or hetero sexual though. Generally someone who is comfortable with who they are, physically, mentally, emotionally, and sexually, among other aspects, is quite attractive methinks. Perhaps many lesbians display this, and thus they glow with something quite desirable that not only one wants from them, but wants within themselves (confidence, zest for life, etc)
add more, anyone, I kinda ranted this together like a mosaic of words and ideas.
What about pondering a bit deeper than skin?
What about the personality aspects of a lesbian in comparison to a heterosexual female? When I think of lesbian or gay, I think of someone who MAY be more comfortable with their masculine, feminine and sexual side. I've had very strong attractions to certain gay men, finding them to be quite confident, openly expressive, in touch with their hip gyrations while dancing, (ohhhhhhhm nom nom XD), friendly. I've seen this in certain lesbians too, active strength of character for example. Some heterosexual males and females are quite insecure with their sexual identity among many other aspects of themselves and others. Some homosexuals too.
I want to address others beyond strict homo or hetero sexual though. Generally someone who is comfortable with who they are, physically, mentally, emotionally, and sexually, among other aspects, is quite attractive methinks. Perhaps many lesbians display this, and thus they glow with something quite desirable that not only one wants from them, but wants within themselves (confidence, zest for life, etc)
add more, anyone, I kinda ranted this together like a mosaic of words and ideas.
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