Why do some atheists have to be so insulting and mean?

[stvdv]

I wonder when someone complains in general about being mistreated by an entire group of people, what they are doing to contribute to the reactions they seem to be receiving?

I can explain that out of my personal experience [how it happened that I got in a similar situation]:
I had a narcissistic father, and my feelings were not allowed. I had become a pleaser, always nice [didn't know that it was possible to say "no"]. Took me quite long to get grip of my feelings. "Bad" people see their chance, I didn't say no. I discovered I had all leechers around me. Universe works perfect I see now; I got plenty of opportunities to work on my issues. But only when I saw it. In the inbetween phase I also saw that I was kind of attracted to this kind of people [Jung of course could easily explain this behaviour].

This is one scenario that shows how someone can endup "being mistreated by an entire group". Reason is simple "I needed to learn to say NO, and not only say it but do it". I was the one who always forgives. Now that is finished. I tell them once my limits, if they cross it if they are lucky 1 extra warning but that's it. Took me a long time. But works perfect. Nobody never took me serious, because I didn't take myself serious.

So it's correct that I created it myself, by not taking myself serious, letting others walk over me. In the process to discover this, I have seen that many people were in the same situation. So I very well understand how all this happens, and also how to get out of it [solve it]. Not easy for the one who has to get out of this situation, and others who are "normal" I understand they don't understand it's such a big deal to say "NO".

 

[Trailblazer]

Can I suggest that if you want a real answer, asking your question in a place where nobody is familiar with the situations you describe isn’t the best place to do it?

That is no doubt true. I was just upset when I posted that and I did not want to mention the specifics. It is just a couple of atheists who were mean to me, not any more than that. They certainly do not represent the group as a whole. Arrogance almost always leads to meanness when you disagree with these kinds of people. Believers can also be arrogant and mean but you can call them out on it because they know it goes against their scriptures. With these kinds of mean atheists anything goes because they have no real morals. It is all about self, knowing everything, false pride and saving face. That could just as easily apply to a believer but they are not the bulk of people who I talk to.

It seems like what you’re doing here is inviting people to paint atheists with a broad brush.

No, not at all. I said "some atheists" not atheists or all atheists. Most atheists are just great, Imo.

 

[A Vestigial Mote]

Wine is produced from grapes.

vegetation
noun
1. all the plants or plant life of a place, taken as a whole

If you wanted to get me on a technicality, you should have gone after fungus.

 

[Trailblazer]

I am very familiar with what the OP is describing.

Thanks. You probably do. It is nice to know I am not alone. That is the main reason I posted this thread, I felt so hurt and so alone. I trusted someone and then they stabbed me in the back and lied about me on a public forum where I had been locked out so I could not explain what really happened. This is immoral and unjust... There are no more words....

I think atheist are more prone to behave this way simply because they have no God to answer to.
But there are many atheists who are very nice and very moral, luck of the draw.

 

[Trailblazer]

If you post on forums of this nature you have to expect your beliefs to be challenged.

I have NO problem with my beliefs being challenged. I have a problem with a forum owner telling me what my intentions are and accusing me falsely and insulting me on a public forum where that is against their own forum rules.

I have problem with people who are dishonest and two-faced and blame other people for what they are doing and can offer no evidence to support their accusations, since there is none. I have a problem with being the target of vicious hatred and unfounded insults towards me and my religion.

I have NO problems with agnostics and atheists who do not act this way. I love them to pieces.

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

I think atheist are more prone to behave this way simply because they have no God to answer to.

 

[Trailblazer]

She didn’t really give any details on that side of things.

Speaking for myself, I’ve never been in a position to even comment on someone’s arguments for God unless they were making an argument for God at me, which in real life is always unwanted.

In real life I can understand that, but what about on a religious forum run by an atheist, a forum that is supposed to be for BOTH believers and nonbelievers?

 

[Trailblazer]

I’m not assuming anything. I’m just pointing out one possible explanation that fits the facts we have so far.

Are you assuming that @Trailblazer wasn’t pushing her religion on people who didn’t want it?

I NEVER push my religion and I never even talk about it except on a religious forum where it is allowed.

At the time, I was just talking about God on a religious forum run by an atheist who blows his top every time he does not "like" what I say about God... If he cannot take the heat he should not run a kitchen that is supposed to be for BOTH believers and nonbelievers.

 

[Trailblazer]

Online?

Yes, on a religious forum, or so it is called.

 

[Jayhawker Soule]

In real life I can understand that, but what about on a religious forum run by an atheist, a forum that is supposed to be for BOTH believers and nonbelievers?

If you have an issue about the administration and/or moderation of this site I encourage you to gather your evidence and present your case in the appropriate feedback forum rather than continue with this silly whining.

 

[Trailblazer]

I think, if you can, try to pick your debates. Your feelings are credited; you have that right to feel that way. Another way to think of it, if you are a god believer give it god. We cant control others but with god (or so have you) we control how we react and see others in the light of our faith moreso than feelings.

Yes, thanks, that is what I try to do. I have no desire to control anyone but this person has to control me to keep me from talking about God or my religion... Then why am I on a religious forum?

Depends. For example, it makes no sense for me to say I need no god. Thats like saying I dont need to believe Nothing to live a good life. Since god doesnt exist, what am I exactly not needing.

Some atheists online have that view you mentioned. Probably agnostic or atheist with a grudge.

Maybe it is because that is the only way they can voice their dislike of beliefs, since American society generally does not accept atheists. But why should I have to pay for that? I did nothing wrong, nothing against the forum rules. I am nice to everyone no matter what they believe or disbelieve. I look only for the good in everyone. But when the forum management humiliates me and lies about me on a public forum and then locks me out, that is wrong. But all I can do is walk away. That is what I did, but it still hurts because I trusted that person and he stabbed me in the back. I am not going to change who I am for a forum. I am a trusting person, but I need to face the fact that some people cannot be trusted. He proved that over and over but stupid me, I went back for more hoping it would be different this time. I am so naive.

I think a lot of it is online in my opinion. Do you live around atheists?

No, my husband is a Baha'i and most of my coworkers are Christians.

Course youre not stupid (ignorant). I know youre venting. Those are my thoughts.

Thanks, you are kind.

 

[Trailblazer]

Atheists are people too. They love, they hate, they work, they hope. And some of them are mean.

Just like some theists are mean. Some people are mean.

Now, mean atheists will denigrate theistic beliefs and say that theists are stupid. Mean theists will denigrate atheistic beliefs and say that atheists are stupid and immoral. Mean atheists will call ideas they don't agree with ignorant and superstitious. Mean theists will call ideas they disagree with immoral and a danger to society. mean atheists will compare God to garden gnomes. Mean theists will compare atheists to Satan.

Let's all try not to be mean, OK?

Thanks. You pretty much covered everything except one thing. When mean atheists come up against a religion that is not superstitious and actually makes sense, they are like guy who just lost his overcoat... They are running scared because they have no way to refute that religion... That makes them mad and then they get mean, like a mad dog... Then the insults start flying because they have to knock me down to raise themselves up and prove they were right after all...

This is all psych 101 stuff but they do not have a clue about psychology, since they think it is just fake science... Besides that they totally lack self-awareness so they cannot understand what is happening to them which causes them to blame me for everything they are doing wrong...That is called projection.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Yes, thanks, that is what I try to do. I have no desire to control anyone but this person has to control me to keep me from talking about God or my religion... Then why am I on a religious forum?

Maybe it is because that is the only way they can voice their dislike of beliefs, since American society generally does not accept atheists. But why should I have to pay for that? I did nothing wrong, nothing against the forum rules. I am nice to everyone no matter what they believe or disbelieve. I look only for the good in everyone. But when the forum management humiliates me and lies about me on a public forum and then locks me out, that is wrong. But all I can do is walk away. That is what I did, but it still hurts because I trusted that person and he stabbed me in the back. I am not going to change who I am for a forum. I am a trusting person, but I need to face the fact that some people cannot be trusted. He proved that over and over but stupid me, I went back for more hoping it would be different this time. I am so naive.

No, my husband is a Baha'i and most of my coworkers are Christians.

Thanks, you are kind.

I've been on forums like that. I sometimes pop by a christian forum with this setup. They have sections for non Christians but if you have opposing respectful views against the trinity and sexual orientation and gender identity you get a warning. They consider JW and mormons not christian,which is an insult. They litterly tell me JW is false and feel because they are on a christian forum they have the rights to be rude. Never head of such a thing. I think the owner used to be here when she branched off. Same user name. Coinsedence? Who knows.

I don't know. I work with a hardstone christian. We became friends and talked about personal stuff. I trusted her. I found she puts me in a category and judge who I am by definition of her faith. Nice woman but religiously, she snapped when I asked about her belief. She said that's what atheist do make debate. I live with, neighbor with, work with, in the environment with,and state of Christians. You should have saw my face when I found they have Buddhist temples here.

Anyway, do you have an out? What I do is collage my feelings, journal, and listen to music. Sometimes I paint other times draw or color. Some ideas?

 

[wandering peacefully]

I can explain that out of my personal experience [how it happened that I got in a similar situation]:
I had a narcissistic father, and my feelings were not allowed. I had become a pleaser, always nice [didn't know that it was possible to say "no"]. Took me quite long to get grip of my feelings. "Bad" people see their chance, I didn't say no. I discovered I had all leechers around me. Universe works perfect I see now; I got plenty of opportunities to work on my issues. But only when I saw it. In the inbetween phase I also saw that I was kind of attracted to this kind of people [Jung of course could easily explain this behaviour].

This is one scenario that shows how someone can endup "being mistreated by an entire group". Reason is simple "I needed to learn to say NO, and not only say it but do it". I was the one who always forgives. Now that is finished. I tell them once my limits, if they cross it if they are lucky 1 extra warning but that's it. Took me a long time. But works perfect. Nobody never took me serious, because I didn't take myself serious.

So it's correct that I created it myself, by not taking myself serious, letting others walk over me. In the process to discover this, I have seen that many people were in the same situation. So I very well understand how all this happens, and also how to get out of it [solve it]. Not easy for the one who has to get out of this situation, and others who are "normal" I understand they don't understand it's such a big deal to say "NO".

It is so sad when parents abuse their children like that. Even when it is only emotional which can be worse than physical abuse. It causes so many unnecessary hardships and difficulties for children and their attempts at a healthy growth into adulthood. So sad. And so wrong. Nothing like having the only people who are supposed to care and nuture you to instead cause you torture and trauma.

So it turns out some become the bullies and some become the ones who are unable to stand up to the bullies depending on personalty.

You did well to get to the point of being able to say no and walk away. And to stand up against them when necessary. Others remain victims or bullies their entire lives.

The best day to ever arrive will be the day all parents treat their children well with love and unconditional kindness, honesty and compassion. If that is all children know that is the adults they will become without having to battle and overcome their way to get to that point on their own.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

I am a trusting person, but I need to face the fact that some people cannot be trusted. He proved that over and over but stupid me, I went back for more hoping it would be different this time. I am so naive.

Ha. You're not the only one. I sometimes try to be the same as before around her. She reminds me every time she gets mad at me over a text or ask for favors for two years and had the courage to say no. I trust too easily.

 

[Trailblazer]

Edit: if I'm being guarded and suspicious with @Trailblazer, it's because her OP started this thread in a pretty negative direction.

Do you understand how the OP could be taken as pretty rude itself?

I was just hurt. You have NO IDEA what this atheist did to me so you have no context,
In light of that I do not consider what I said to be rude.

I know no other atheists that are as arrogant and insulting as this man, and he runs a forum.

He does not like me because I talk about my beliefs on a religious forum no less... He says I can talk and then he says I broke forum rules because I talked . He says I found fault with everyone except myself but I find fault with nobody. Rather, I am constantly defending myself from his false accusations, saying what I meant by what I said when I did not mean it that way at all and the post does not even say it.

The evidence is all in the posts. I ask for evidence of what I have been accused of and he ignores me because there is no evidence. Then locks me out and blames me for everything that happened, insulting me by posting lies about me on the forum.. But he can do it because he owns the forum.

Mind you, I trusted this person and considered him a friend because that is the kind of person that I am. I never insulted him or what he disbelieves. I look at the good in everyone and not the bad. But sometimes we just have to face reality. I deserve an apology but I will never get one. Evidence is evidence. It is unjust to accuse someone without any evidence. It is dishonest.

 

[Trailblazer]

I didn't see it as rude per se but, rather, as a rhetorical softball trolling for confirmation.

No, it wasn't that.
I was hurt, and I was looking for comfort from the kind people here, not confirmation that I am right... I like atheists very much, but this atheist is just arrogant and mean. There is only one other atheist I ever felt this way about and I have been posting to atheists day and night for five years.

II was also looking for feedback because I do not think I am always right, like the atheist I was posting about.

 

[Trailblazer]

Still, the question ...

Why do some atheists have to be so insulting and mean?​

is no more answerable and no more useful than is the question ...

Why do some theists have to be so whiny and shallow?​

or

Why do some vegans have to be so pompous and judgmental?​

I should have posted that differently but we all make mistakes in how we post something, especially when we have just been dragged through hell... Does your religion teach forgiveness?

Only GOD and my husband knows what that atheist man has put me through for the last four years. The question is why I ever tolerated that kind of abuse... The answer is that I tend to look at the good in everyone and hope they will change and stop insulting my beliefs and me and coming at me for doing nothing wrong, but some people never change.

If I sound a little brusque that is because I cannot be less than honest, and that is what it is that bothers people who are not honest. This is psych 101 stuff.

 

[Trailblazer]

Are you complaining about atheists in particular, for some reason?
Like,that they are worse than christians, buddhists, moslems or
etc?

If not, then why did you post this?

In the, you know, "how you treat your fellow human" dept.

No, I was not complaining about atheists in general, just one atheist in particular.
I love atheists in general. I love everyone but it is difficult to love someone who lies about you and stabs you in the back.

 

[Trailblazer]

It sure read like "they are bad coz they are atheists".

People read the same posts differently according to how they would relate to the same thing that was posted. All people project their own thoughts and feelings onto others but the more self-aware they are the less they do it, because they own their own thoughts and feelings instead of blaming someone else for them.

But I can understand how the OP could have been taken that way... I said "some atheists" but I should have said "an atheist" since it was really only one.