I don't believe in the existence of God... so I don't pretend to deserve or expect anything from Him.
The ONLY way I can be convinced is by some real intervention in my personal life that is inter-subjectively verifiable and directly attributable to God. That's it. That's what it's going to take. End of story. I don't feel I deserve it... I don't expect it. I literally believe that such an event CAN'T HAPPEN.
Well, good for you. I mean that in all sincerity. Nobody should think they deserve or expect anything from God.
Some real intervention in your personal life that is inter-subjectively verifiable and directly attributable to God is a possibility. I know that because I know atheists to whom it happened and they are now the most faithful believers.
How did this happen to them? Well, as their stories go they had been atheists their entire lives and it finally came to a point where they felt a need for God... They cried out and God answered their call by providing proof. I had a similar experience, the difference being I already half believed that God existed before my experience; but after that experience I knew for certain, so now I am in it for the long haul.
That's likely the position this other atheist you talk about also takes, but he likely brought up the idea that God should communicate directly to everyone as a very simple way to display that, if He truly wanted to, God could make everyone believers. And I would agree that under these conditions:
1. God loves all people
2. God wants everyone to return to Him
3. God does not let people who don't believe in Him return to Him.
4. God has the power to accomplish just about anything or literally everything
5. God wants to be at all fair in his dealings with humans, and not give certain humans advantage over others (see #1)
... given those conditions, yes - yes it DOES make sense that God SHOULD appear to everyone. Short of that, it is proven that if He exists, He doesn't care all that much, and according to the written documentation, He doesn't mind playing favorites.
All those conditions are true, but God does not give anyone an unfair advantage. By sending a Messenger that
everyone can recognize God levels the playing field. It really is the only way to play a fair game. One has to prove their desire to know if God exists by being willing to do the homework God assigns, searching out and then researching His Messenger.Nothing in this life that is worth having comes without effort. Why should knowledge of God be any different?
If God communicated directly to everyone some of those people would be undeserving of knowing God exists, they would be unworthy. Some of them might not even care if God exists, so why should God communicate to them if they do not even care about God?
God does not care if you believe in Him for His sake, only for your sake.
“Consider the mercy of God and His gifts. He enjoineth upon you that which shall profit you, though He Himself can well dispense with all creatures.” Gleanings From the Writings of Bahá’u’lláh, p. 140
God does not need you or your belief, but God will still love you, because God loves everyone, believers and nonbelievers.
Look at it this way. I COULD NOT GIVE ONE FLYING CRAP whether or not I have a relationship with God. I literally do not care. There is not one shred of my being that needs whatever that relationship supposedly is, nor is there anything I feel I could benefit from such a relationship, given what I can perceive of God's activity in the place I dwell (a place I like to call "reality"). I don't care. Don't need it. Don't want it. Couldn't care any less. SO... if God wants a relationship with me... He has to come to me. Note - I am not saying I want/desire/need/care/give-a-crap/etc. - that's NOT what I am saying. I am saying GOD HAS NO CHOICE TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME unless He seeks it, and I comply. Done.
Contrary to what some Christians believe, God will never come after you for a relationship because God has no need for a relationship with
any of His creatures. In fact, God could just as easily dispense with all of them, IF He did not love them.
“Your Lord, the God of mercy, can well dispense with all creatures. Nothing whatever can either increase or diminish the things He doth possess. If ye believe, to your own behoof will ye believe; and if ye believe not, ye yourselves will suffer.” Gleanings From the Writings of Bahá’u’lláh, p. 148
The proof that God loves us is that God
does not dispense with us:
3: O SON OF MAN! Veiled in My immemorial being and in the ancient eternity of My essence, I knew My love for thee; therefore I created thee, have engraved on thee Mine image and revealed to thee My beauty.
The Hidden Words of Bahá’u’lláh, p. 4
Your attitude, which is not too dissimilar to the attitude of my atheist friend in the OP is precisely WHY you will never have a relationship with God. God has zero interest in having a relationship with someone who COULD NOT GIVE ONE FLYING CRAP whether or not He even exists.
God’s Love is like a channel that has to be open at both ends, your end and His end, in order to flow. If you do not even care if you have a relationship with God, God’s Love can never reach you.
4: O SON OF MAN! I loved thy creation, hence I created thee. Wherefore, do thou love Me, that I may name thy name and fill thy soul with the spirit of life.
5: O SON OF BEING! Love Me, that I may love thee. If thou lovestMe not, My love can in no wise reach thee. Know this, O servant.
The Hidden Words of Bahá’u’lláh, p. 4