Okay. So let me back up first. I left Christianity 4 years ago, and I won't get into all the reasons why, as it might bore you. lol But I just felt like I was going through the motions. The Bible was illogical, and the path eventually led to an atheistic stance. But, I was never a hardcore atheist, perhaps agnostic. Always felt hope for something more, but not entirely believing anymore. Jesus was definitely out of the picture, I mean, I hadn't prayed to Him, or felt anything at all about Him. I just felt indifferent after a while, and you know how it is...you go through life, and things happen, and it causes you to wonder if something else exists. I looked at Buddhism, which is pretty awesome actually. Then, Islam. Then, Deism. Went back to atheism. And decided to just remain there. Wondering, but not believing.
Then, about three weeks ago, this tremendous heat...like a rush of heat went through me out of the blue. And it hurt my hands almost. I know this sounds insane. I was sober. lol I'm not a believer in these types of things, but this happened. This feeling, I felt it. And then this rush of peace and inexplicable joy came over me. And I said Jesus' name, like out of nowhere. And then for the rest of the day, i prayed, and felt like He was right there. And NOTHING has been the same ever since. I know, this sounds insane. I think about it and laugh, because I had let go of the whole Jesus story. To think of Him in a different light, now is remarkable. I no longer just read about Him, or pray to Him...I actually have experienced Him. His love. That is the only explanation for this peace. And He came to bring us this new life...new way of viewing life. And I'm not all caught up in the afterlife etc...but, I do believe in heaven, and I never did when I was a Christian the first time around.
I see people in a different light. People I dislike, but I see them with spiritual eyes now. I sound like one of 'those' people lol But, I'm not insane...this happened. Something happened outside of me, and changed my life...and now, I wish to read the Bible again, and when I do...it's with new eyes. Still much of it is a bit out there lol But, I've read stories of people online, who have had similar experiences as me, and they say the nearly identical things...that this world is sort of meh, after something like that happens. I mean, I love those in my life, and am grateful for my work, and friendships and health, etc. But, all of that is not enough...it pales in comparison to this experience.
Thank you for letting me share this with you.