My heart says I want to grant you all that. My heart and brain says there might still be something to this God thing that I don't understand. Care/harm is not the only pillar of morality you know? I honestly believe those 3 things you mentioned could degrade society. What about the morality of the herd?
Although I wish you had used another word than "herd," that is in fact an extremely good question. And it needs a very thoughtful answer -- so I am not going to give you a glib one. I think we might even find a way to some common ground.
But in order to not do a cheap job, I'm just going to point out something about human nature that I think is extremely important, then reserve the rest of my answer until I have more time.
We are a "social species." Humans need and totally rely on our relationships with others of our kind for our very survival. This is true of other social (or better, "eusocial") animals on our planet. And yes, we are a eusocial species.
But we are different from all the other eusocial critters we share our world with. Ants, bees, termites -- they can't behave otherwise than they are programmed. The soldier defends until (s)he dies. The bee stings in response to a threat, even though it necessarily means her own death. The queen (important sounding job!) lies there and lays eggs endlessly which can't be much fun.
But you and I -- though we know how much we depend on other humans -- we can default. We can cheat, reneg in playing our cards. There's a cost, but we're intelligent so we think we can calculate our odds of getting a bigger payoff than the cost.
And we can be -- so much unlike other social species -- individual! And what we find, if you look at the history especially of the modern world, that when we learn to let each of us be who we are, and contribute to the "herd" (as you put it) in our own way, then every member benefits -- the whole gets "richer" (not meaning money necessarily, but in terms of overall societal benefit).
True morality requires that you think about all of that. Do I need you to pay your taxes, as I do? Certainly! That benefits us all. Do I need you to like the same art that I do? Of course not -- there's art enough for everybody. So do you need me to make babies (I'm way too old, anyway)? Not at all -- there are more than enough of us doing that.
So you can think about this: what is it about how other people express their sexuality that is important to YOU? What makes my life with my lover a "moral" question for you, anymore than what makes you life with whomever you love a "moral" question for me? Because I can promise you, I haven't spent a moment of my life wondering about what your love life is like.
I think you need to spend a little more time thinking about what "morality" really means.