The reason I pray to God, despite thinking he is cruel, is the hope that I can get God to change his mind.
Also, the practice of asceticism and prayer for me has been euphoric, blissful, peaceful, and made me more kind, charitable, meek, and humble.
I used to be a sociopath, a criminal, and a drug addict... I'm none of those things anymore, and have a very deep sense of compassion, and it came to me through prayer and meditation.
if I was an atheist, I would be thinking about suicide all the time.
I attempted suicide a year ago, breaking my back in two places, breaking my ribs, breaking my arm, breaking my pelvis, cracking my knee, tore my Meniscus in two knees, tore my ACL, and had a concussion...
The attempt was largely because I gave up on God and felt hopeless.
I believe that the reason I am not in a wheelchair for the rest of my life, is because of divine intervention.
I felt the presence of Supernatural Spirits in a very powerful way, while I was bedridden and rehabilitating.
But I'm aware, that it could all be delusional.