That is the opposite of the truth as I do not rely upon the Baha'is for anything. I only have one good friend who is a Baha'i,
@Truthseeker, since I met him on a forum over 10 years ago, and he has since followed me from forum to forum.
In my time of sorrow over the loss of my husband I do not turn to the Baha'is because I know that all I will get is platitudes about how good God is or Baha'i scriptures and that is the very last thing I need. Please note that I turned to
@Nimos to tell my story becaue I trust him with my feelings and I know I will get some good advice from him because I consider him very logical and intelligent.
The sad fact is that the only people who are available to help with grief and loss issues are secular counselors and churches because the Baha'is have no resources for me, only platitudes. The best they can say is "he is in the Abha Kingdom now" as if I am supposed to be comforted by that. Nothing could make me feel worse. What I need are friends to talk to who understand, not religious platitudes.
I have a counselor I talk to every two weeks but we are not talking about grief, but rather what I am going to do with my life now. I do not really feel that sad about the loss as much as not knowing how I am going to live alone for the rest of my life, since I never lived alone except for one year before I was married. Before that I lived with my mother. It is not that I cannot take care of myself, it is something else, and I need to figure out what it is. It helps to talk to other people, but religious people are the worst people to talk to since all they say is that I need to rely upon God, but it is not God who can help me, it is people.
I went to one secular grief group run by social workers and that was okay but not that helpful, since only one person in the group had not lost a spouse.. Then I went to a widows group at a church and that was not very helpful either since they only talked about activities they were doing in their lives now, not about their widowhood. Then I went to a grief-share group at a church and I will be attending sessions there weekly because they understand grief and are organized and helpful. It is Bible-based but they don't talk much about God or the Bible, Although there is a workbook that has Bible verses, that is only a small part of the time spent. There is sharing of feelings and about a third of the time is spent watching a video about grief and it is based on actual research, what people actually go through and how to handle it.
The fact that unbelievers tell me that they feel hopeful without gods or the promise of an afterlife is completely irrelevant. They feel hopeful because of what they have in their lives that gives them hope, family, friends, activities they enjoy, something to live for. I don't have those things so I do not have hope. Why make it all about God? This is not about God except in a particular context, that I hope that God has a better fate in store for me since I don't seem to be able to effect any positive changes via my free will alone.
Why do some atheists always have to make this a contest between believers and nonbelievers?
I am not 'hoping' that my religious beliefs will do anything for me and they do not constrain my options in any way. If anything constrains my options, it is having so many cats, as
@Nimos pointed out.
When I said "so far many of the responses further illustrate my belief that without God there is no hope" what I was implying is that people are not helping me, so I have to depend upon God. It is true that some people actually try to help me, people like
@Nimos, but most other people just throw scriptures at me or they tell me I don't need God at all. How is that helpful in solving my immediate problems?
That's true, but I don't see anyone rushing to my door to try to help me. I have to go out and seek help, and I am doing that now, the best way I know how to. I also seek help on this forum because it is more convenient and there are a lot of caring and intelligent people here.
Pretty well actually, since I believe that God guided me to go out and seek help in the groups I mentioned.
No, I did not go to believers, I went to
@Nimos, who is my longtime friend. I already know hat I will get from believers and I am not interested.
When I said "thus far I have not seen any attempts to debate
it, only people making fun of me for my feelings, just because I have hope in God. That is not a debate, it is an assault"
it was referring to debating what is below the first paragraph of my OP, namely fate vs. free will. I was not referring to what I wrote in my first paragraph, which is just my feelings. I even said "I am not making a claim, I am only expressing a feeling." How do you debate feelings?
In a way you are when you say "Yes, she feels that she needs to cling to her life raft of a belief" since you are implying that I cannot swim without a life raft, because I cannot stand on my own two feet.
No, I have no life raft. I just have faith. A life raft is what keeps one from drowning, and I am drowning despite my faith. I am not actually drowning but I sometimes feel as if I am drowning. There is a difference.
I could say the same exact thing about nonbelievers, except that their life raft is self and the material world pleasures and everything that they derive from them. I could say you have a psychological dependence upon them, and you would certainly have withdrawal symptoms if they were taken way.