Your new neighbor is a child molester.

[michel]

My children would never be out of my sight.

I agree; I voted 'other' because I would probably accept his claim that he is cured, good enough for me. I would try to become friends with him, and help him, but my kids would never be out of my sight.

 

[jonny]

I prefer my amiable yet somehow medieval approach.....

I think I could combine that with my approach. I'd invite the guy to come around the neighborhood with me and introduce him to everyone. That would be much more effective than passing out the fliers.

 

[Nehustan]

or you could combine all the ideas, and if he molests the children, invite him for a barbecue....

(my first idea was serious, this is joke, as I believe only God may punish by fire. Just so nobody thinks I'll cross the line or anything!!!)

 

[jeffrey]

I agree; I voted 'other' because I would probably accept his claim that he is cured, good enough for me., but my kids would never be out of my sight.

Michel, I appreciate what your saying, but I don't think I could. Your a better Christian then me, again! I could not get out of my mind what has happened in Idaho and Florida.

 

[Bishka]

If he was a convicted molester, I'd knock on his doors, explain that there have been rumours about him in the neighbourhood, and that I thought that rather than talking behind his back I'd come and speak to him. I'd listen to his explanations, ask him if he himself had been abused etc., generally try and lend a sympathetic ear. I'd tell him that everyone in the community would hope that he will have a happy time and that we hope his stay is fine and 'trouble free'....then I'd leave...oh yeh but before I'd left and still with the same welcoming a social manner I'd say 'Just one last thing...you lay a finger on any of our children' still smiling...not forced 'I'll make sure that before its reported I'll lynch you till you're nearly dead, drag you around the neighbourhood from the back of a car, then gut you in the street, what I like to call 'Hung, Drawn and Quartered' still smiling 'remember you need anything just let me know.'

(P.S. I think I'm going to call this the 'friendly neighbour approach' ©®)​

I pretty much agree with you. I'd let them know what was going on and tell them that they would never be around my children without me present.

 

[Flappycat]

You have a new neighbor, and you find out he's just got out of prison for multiple counts of child molestation. He's done is time. He claims he's cured. How would you treat him, especially if you have kids.

I'd probably bother him for a while with probing questions, probably have little other interaction with him unless he initiates it, really much like I'd do with any neighbor. If I had kids, they'd probably be far too busy to spend much time in the yard (I like how my sister's turning out, and her parents barely gave her a moment's rest all through her childhood with all the extra-curricular activities).

 

[Smoke]

It would be a matter of complete indifference to me. No kids, no plans to have any, and very little interest in socializing with the neighbors regardless of who they are. (Unless Kenny Chesney moves into the neighborhood.)

 

[jamaesi]

I voted for the first option when I meant the third. D:

But Squishy (my cockatoo) counts as my child so there.

But are we being bigoted? The guy did do his time, paid his debt to society...

I'm fine with being called a bigot over this. If by wanting children protected from someone who has proven themselves to be a threat makes me a bigot, then I'll print that on a t-shirt and wear it around the street.



People can claim whatever they want until their blue in the face- but I would rather have children be safe from abuse. I'm not too worried about the child molesters feelings. If he wanted compassion perhaps he shouldn't have been raping children.

 

[Sunstone]

I hate to say this, but I would be inclined to run him out of the neighborhood, cured or not. That's not kosher with my other values, but I would hate myself if he molested one of my kids, or any kid. So, I'm in the "take no chances" camp.

 

[Sunstone]

I hate to say this, but I would be inclined to run him out of the neighborhood, cured or not. That's not kosher with my other values, but I would hate myself if he molested one of my kids, or any kid. So, I'm in the "take no chances" camp.

The only way I could see letting him stay is if there were no kids in the neighborhood.

 

[michel]

The only way I could see letting him stay is if there were no kids in the neighborhood.

Not necessarily addressed to you, Sunstone, but to all who have replied.

So, basically, we are saying once a convicted, a pedophile can never be trusted again ? Isn't that a pretty hard inditement ?

 

[Beck63Don]

I hate to say this, but I would be inclined to run him out of the neighborhood, cured or not. That's not kosher with my other values, but I would hate myself if he molested one of my kids, or any kid. So, I'm in the "take no chances" camp.

You are just about the most intolerant, dumbest, piece of sh*t I've come accross on this forum. My brother is a pedophile who has never molested a child and never will. You'd judge him on that one thing alone, and not take into account anything else about him. Are you really so blinded by his pedophilia that you can't have any compassion for someone like him? Blindness like that is the same thing as stupidity. My brother is a moral, intelligent man who doesn't need you or people like you making his life hell just for something he was born with and can't change. He's committed no crimes and never will. You're a high and mighty mod so you'll probably censor my post, but you SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!

 

[jamaesi]

So, basically, we are saying once a convicted, a pedophile can never be trusted again ? Isn't that a pretty hard inditement ?

Being molested is rather "hard" too.

 

[Beck63Don]

Not necessarily addressed to you, Sunstone, but to all who have replied.

So, basically, we are saying once a convicted, a pedophile can never be trusted again ? Isn't that a pretty hard inditement ?

Frubals to you Michel for being reasonable and compassionate! I'm sorry for calling you a bigot in that other thread. You're not a bigot.

 

[jamaesi]

You are just about the most intolerant, dumbest, piece of sh*t I've come accross on this forum. My brother is a pedophile who has never molested a child and never will. You'd judge him on that one thing alone, and not take into account anything else about him. Are you really so blinded by his pedophilia that you can't have any compassion for someone like him? Blindness like that is the same thing as stupidity. My brother is a moral, intelligent man who doesn't need you or people like you making his life hell just for something he was born with and can't change. He's committed no crimes and never will. You're a high and mighty mod so you'll probably censor my post, but you SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!

This thread is about CONVICTED CHILD MOLESTERS.

Not your brother. Not pedophiles.


Shame on you for being judgemental and intolerant yourself.

 

[Green Gaia]

So, basically, we are saying once a convicted, a pedophile can never be trusted again ? Isn't that a pretty hard inditement ?

I'm all for giving people a second chance. But the stats will show that most who commit sexual crimes against children will do it again if given the opportunity. It's a compulsion with them, they can't stop. It's not like the guy who robs a liquor store because he's high.

I am not willing to take chances with my kids or anyone else's. They should never be allowed to be alone with children ever again.

 

[Nehustan]

You are just about the most intolerant, dumbest, piece of sh*t I've come accross on this forum. My brother is a pedophile who has never molested a child and never will. You'd judge him on that one thing alone, and not take into account anything else about him. Are you really so blinded by his pedophilia that you can't have any compassion for someone like him? Blindness like that is the same thing as stupidity. My brother is a moral, intelligent man who doesn't need you or people like you making his life hell just for something he was born with and can't change. He's committed no crimes and never will. You're a high and mighty mod so you'll probably censor my post, but you SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!

LadyMoon your brother is NOT a paedophile. That's like saying my brother is a murderer, but he has never murdered anyone. If he has admitted to a problem that HE has identified before any child has been damaged, he is not a paedophile in my mind. A guy with urges he has managed to control (may God bless him) maybe, but a beast who damages children for the rest of their life, he is certainly NOT that. All respect to your brother, and I know I will not be alone in this statement.

 

[Sunstone]

So, basically, we are saying once a convicted, a pedophile can never be trusted again ? Isn't that a pretty hard inditement ?

Of all the issues we discuss on this forum, none of them give me more trouble than the issue of what to do about convicted child molesters. A large part of me wants to give them a second chance. I'm generally speaking all in favor of giving people second chances. But the crime of molesting children is so heinous, and the recidivism rate for those who do it is so high, that I think it's necessary in a practical sense to suspend my values in the case of pedophiles and err on the side of extreme caution when dealing with them. This is not an issue on which I'm arrived at a view that I'm comfortable with. Far from it. But I've arrived at a view that I think is necessary.

 

[Fluffy]

The guy did his time so further punishment or taking any steps to antagonise him would be unjustified, I feel. I personally would not have a problem with him based just on this knowledge but would judge him the same as with other people.

Mental disorders that lead to rape or molestation, are, for the most part, uncurable, only treatable so if he told me that he had been cured then this would immediatly earn points against him since he would either be deluded or lying. Either way I would tell him that I understand that it is difficult for him to control his urges and that therefore I think it would be best if I removed the temptation for him. I would trust him about as much as I would anybody who had an uncontrollable disorder, he does not need to have a conviction to his name for me to protect my children in this way.

I believe I would be acting in his best interests as well as everyone elses. I would also offer as much help as was reasonable to help him control his urges.

LadyMoon your brother is NOT a paedophile. That's like saying my brother is a murderer, but he has never murdered anyone. If he has admitted to a problem that HE has identified before any child has been damaged, he is not a paedophile in my mind. A guy with urges he has managed to control (may God bless him) maybe, but a beast who damages children for the rest of their life, he is certainly NOT that. All respect to your brother, and I know I will not be alone in this statement.

The medical community full heartedly disagrees with your first statement. Lady Moon's brother is indeed a pedophile by her description. I fail to understand why people continue to ignore this important fact that is readily available in any psychology journal.

 

[jeffrey]

Michel, maybe it is hard on him, but how would you explain it to your child, grandchild if you let your guard down only to have them molested? What would you tell your child? I'm sorry if it hurts his feelings, but my kids well being... or even their life is far more important. Compassion is a good thing... showing compassion to your own kids 'safety.