Something willful with the INTENT of making her feel shame for her actions, personna, clothing, etc.
I can't find that comment on the website. I'd like to see it underneath the photo it was attached to. Regardless, my first impression is "stupid and immature", not misogynistic and "hateful".
It was photoshopped onto the t-shirt in one of the pictures. I stated that the comments below found nothing wrong with it. I disagree that such a comment is not hateful, but that it's supportive of violence against "sluts."
You have to understand, I live on YouTube and watch makeup tutorials daily. I see far worse daily on makeup and cooking channels. People are stupid.
And like I said to FH, you have to understand that I live for the stage, and I have been the target of reviews in our local media. People are people. Misogyny is misogyny.
My situation is different. Standing in line at a grocery store, unprovoked and NOT drawing attention to myself to have someone make a snide remark at me for the PURPOSE of being an ******* is different than a woman who goes out of her way to submit a photograph of herself scantily clad to a FestivalSluts Facebook page.
Circumstances are quite different.
I didn't directly contribute or submit to the source of my frustration and upset.
Isn't it always different when it becomes a personal story?
Well first, there's a debate earlier in the thread that questioned whether or not the women in the photographs willingly submitted their photos. You're under the assumption that they all did, and that assumption has been put under scrutiny.
Second, some would say (I wouldn't say this) that you appearing in public by itself appearance alone is inviting comments. There's a whole thread on fat-shaming that addresses the phenomena in our culture, and that the people who justify their behavior does place the onus on men and women like you who they see as not taking responsibility for your behavior. There are people who would suggest if you let yourself go like that, then what do you expect when you walk out in public?
It's a pretty sad position to take, IMO, by saying that you deserve your treatment, when you yourself say that you did nothing to invite such comments. I'm across the board with the live and let live mentality, and challenging others who think they're justified with NOT letting others live and just live.
I'm consistently saying that you are living your life, that you ought to be free from disparaging comments and harassment just because you're living your life and enjoying who you are. I find the same defense ought to be applied to women who flip their tops up for a camera. Both of you are in public. I'm on stage. So all of us are living freely with our choices. That is what I defend.
If such a page is going to exist, it can only exist if women pose for photographs, and photos are submitted. Willing participants make this page a reality.
Women are a part of that reality. We don't have the right to not be offended. Genuine abuse and unlawful acts are a different animal over offensive comments.
I'm sure people felt justified in screaming at the suffragettes, at women who entered the work force and attained positions of power, at women who convinced their religious organizations to begin ordaining women, and women who got on the pill for the purpose of preventing a pregnancy. Women who walk around with condoms in their purses. Women who decided to wear bikinis. Women who decided to march for the E.R.A.
I'm not focusing on the feelings of women, but the perpetuation of the attitude that women
deserve the disparaging comments by bringing it on themselves. I'm not telling people that they should never be allowed to speak against feminism, but instead I'm challenging the motivation as to what aspects of feminism they feel so justified in offering. And when it comes to women taking their tops off or breastfeeding in class in front of students, I'm not telling people to never speak their minds, but I'm challenging what is motivating the hostile reactions to women who are living their lives as freely as they believe men do.
Herein lies the problem with the perpetuation of ****-shaming. Feministic movements cannot control that the term "****" will continue to be deemed negative within parts of our culture. There's nothing that women can do to change that.
Stop right there....why do you think there is nothing women can do? Where is the acceptance of the status quo coming from?
We can blame men for being misogynists for calling us sluts, but, what happens when we label ourselves "****"? How does that impact our efforts towards equality? And what messages does this give society, when we, as women, represent and live the stereotypes that we resent men and others for imposing upon us?
I go past resentment. I speak up and tell men and other women who practice ****-shaming against others that they're speaking from a position of intolerance. I don't sit back and whine about being helpless. I challenge their positions. I back it up with parallels to other issues of equality - whether it's women, blacks, queers, indigenous people, etc.
Also, as I'd stated before, I wear the term "whore" like a badge of honor rather than to let such a term carry its power over me. But I also challenge people perceptions of what "whore" means to them, and what they believe society should expect from "whores". Freedom? Social exile? Or targets of assault?
Education is important. Misogyny is a beast that we all need to fight together. But, I do believe as a feminist that women need to acknowledge that there are women who wear stereotypes like costumes and it hurts forward progress.
Like the power-hungry ***** CEO. The backward-thinking submissive wife. The virginal girl-next-door. The man-hating dyke who never shaves and wears a butch haircut. There are plenty of stereotypes that exist in feminism and that exist as cultural targets of harassment. Instead of telling women that they're only hurting progress of feminism just because they actually dress or act the stereotype that hurts us, why not fight for their freedom to choose and to change their minds whenever they wish?
I'm not insinuating in any way a restriction of expression for the fear of what others might say about us. To the contrary. We can't be sluts unless we self identify and project as sluts. Part of "**** shaming" lies in how women view themselves and project their own individuality and sexuality and I won't give men or other women for that matter but so much credit for good reason. Women themselves helped to create this "****". Women need to bring this "****" down, if she's an oppressive force to our forward progress.
I agree that women are the biggest contributor to ****-shaming. But where we part ways is the distinction of responsibility. I don't think "sluts" are responsible, but those who target women who they think act like "sluts."
I'd described before that I head to a local dairy Mennonite farm to pick up local dairy. But I head directly from the dance studio to pick up our milk. I am in a major rush every trip, because I go from the studio ALL the way out in the middle of nowhere to pick it up, so my change to wear something "appropriate" in the eyes of the Mennonite farmers is not a choice I'm willing to make. I go in my dance clothes, which is typically a camisole tank top and yoga pants. The farmers conduct business, but the reactions they give when they see me dressed the way that I do is one of alarm.
If they were to make disparaging comments about the manner of dress (which I assume is one where I'm dressed like a "whore" for showing too much skin and displaying too much of my figure), I wouldn't find it warranted. They may be free to speak, but I'm free to tell them they're speaking from a position of intolerance. I'm a dancer and a choreographer and a business owner, so I'm busy, and I'm just living my life. Think what you want about me, but let's just keep it simple and realize I'm buying your dairy products.
I also had the studio located for a year in a building owned and operated by a very outspoken Christian who had a fitness studio that is Christian-focused. They didn't proselytize, but they certainly created a lot of attention when they would go into a Tim Tebow position to pray before each group workout. It's unconventional, but undeserving of ridicule. I've defended THEIR actions as well and have told some of my friends to back off.
On that note...I need to get to the studio. Got a full day on Saturday with classes and rehearsals. If it's any worth, Dawny, I've enjoyed this conversation with you so far. I respect people who hold radically different positions than me and who challenge me on my positions. Especially when the same people are open to my challenges to their positions. I look forward to more conversations between us in the future (hopefully later on).
