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Are there Reasonable Moral Grounds to Oppose Open Relationships and Marriages?

M

Manfred

Member
painted wolf said:
They also don't help people take you seriously as someone with a mature opinion.

wa:do
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Well I'm not a very mature person, but what I say I mean. I'm extremely careful as to what I let out, too. I understand now I don't have much in the way of substance to offer the more mature, serious folk on the subject at hand. So I'll excuse myself from this thread, and I'll try to stay on topic the best I can from now on. If anyone needs me, I'll be searching for the other dummies on this site to hang out with.

*Open marriage isn't marriage at all, it's a mutual acceptance of the perversion of unity; it's the easy way out imo.
 
Drolefille

Drolefille

PolyPanGeekGirl
MysticSang'ha said:
Welcome to RF! :foryou:

And kudos to you for jumping in so soon to a hot topic like this.

My husband and I have an open marriage. We tried the monogamy model, and it made us miserable. I know that given the climate toward polyamory and the cultural preference toward hetero monogamy, it would seem backward to say that our marriage has MUCH more intimacy and respect than during our monogamous stretch.

We've been dancing down Polyamory Lane for about 5 years now. And because of how happy we are, and how we continue to grow stronger as a couple, I'd say that our decision to be open IS morally sound.
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Thanks for the welcome :D (and the flowers)

I've been in one of my relationships for almost 3 years. He's married, and they both can and have had outside relationships. My second relationship has lasted for about six months, and is is somewhat similar in that he's also married, but in his case his wife has no interest in outside relationships so it's kind of a one way thing, but it's something that they negotiated fully long (like 12 years) before he and I got together.

Also going through a breakup with a couple that sucks because they weren't honest/open/communicating as they needed to be, and I think the problems that arose could have been avoided or dealt with had there been communication. Just like any relationship that ends. (Although it is weird going through a breakup while still having two SOs.)

Anyway, I went back through the thread, and while it seems people have a lot of logistical, legal, or practical concerns - or of course personal objections- I don't see really any actual universal moral disagreements. By which I mean, plenty of it's against X religion, or personal ethics or etc. but no It is wrong like stealing is wrong because of Y.
 
Shadow Wolf

Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber & Business Owner
I need to understand a person's moral convictions first before I can explain to them why they're wrong, silly. It seems the majority of this sites members are filthy hippies, but I aim to remedy that. You're welcome.
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Morals are nothing more than what society says they are. As for filthy hippies, I guessing you've never known anyone who participated in the Hippie movement and still lives it.
You can try to explain what is wrong with my life. As for open relationships, it's rare that any one person can fully satisfy their partner's sexual desires and needs, and you don't have to have love to have sex. It's nice to be close and intimate with someone you love, but it's also nice to have sex for no other reason than it's on your mind and someone else's mind.
 
Reine

Reine

Member
Manfred said:
I need to understand a person's moral convictions first before I can explain to them why they're wrong, silly. It seems the majority of this sites members are filthy hippies, but I aim to remedy that. You're welcome.
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It's hard to believe that you think you have the moral right to call someone a filthy hipple. Jesus even warns us of calling someone of our own faith a fool, but here you call people that may not even have a religion, or have a religion that differes from your own a filthy hippie. Why do you feel you have this right, or the right to chastise those who are not even part of your beleif system?
 
Walkntune

Walkntune

Well-Known Member
*Open marriage isn't marriage at all, it's a mutual acceptance of the perversion of unity; it's the easy way out imo.
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For shallow people anyways. Doesn't work well for those with depth.
 
Songbird

Songbird

She rules her life like a bird in flight
Walkntune said:
For shallow people anyways. Doesn't work well for those with depth.
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If anything (though I wouldn't even declare this firmly), the opposite is true.

It takes so much communication, openness, and emotional intelligence to handle a healthy open relationship, shallow people couldn't make it work.
 
Shadow Wolf

Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber & Business Owner
It takes so much communication, openness, and emotional intelligence to handle a healthy open relationship, shallow people couldn't make it work.
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It takes all that and a great deal of trust in your significant other. To shallow person, or someone who is prone to jealousy, it is simply something that cannot work. It also shouldn't be thought of as something that can save a failing relationship. It can help to relieve sexual frustrations, and eliminate the temptation of wondering, but it has to be within a good relationship. I'm sure many good relationships could be saved though if it wasn't such a taboo, as people could satisfy their desires while communicating to their significant other and wouldn't have to keep it a secret that devastates relationships and families should it be discovered.
It works in my situation because we can both separate love and sex, and we know that at the end of the day we will be in our own bed together, in each others arms. And nothing beats looking into your lovers eyes while you profess your love for eachother during love making.
 
M

Manfred

Member
Reine said:
It's hard to believe that you think you have the moral right to call someone a filthy hipple. Jesus even warns us of calling someone of our own faith a fool, but here you call people that may not even have a religion, or have a religion that differes from your own a filthy hippie. Why do you feel you have this right, or the right to chastise those who are not even part of your beleif system?
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Familiarize yourself with the finner points of sarcasm/flirting. Don't bring me back into this thread, please.
 
Reine

Reine

Member
Manfred said:
Familiarize yourself with the finner points of sarcasm/flirting. Don't bring me back into this thread, please.
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I try not to be sarcastic or flirty ... but I could give it a try :cool::flirt:. Why don't you want to be brought back into the thread?
 
Reine

Reine

Member
The Lion posted this: Are there Reasonable Moral Grounds to Oppose Open Relationships and Marriages?

1. There are moral grounds to oppose things that we think are damaging
2. What would opposition include or not include, if it was to be done in a functional way?
 
idav

idav

Being
Premium Member
Reine said:
The Lion posted this: Are there Reasonable Moral Grounds to Oppose Open Relationships and Marriages?

1. There are moral grounds to oppose things that we think are damaging
2. What would opposition include or not include, if it was to be done in a functional way?
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Functional isn't always optimal.
 
Drolefille

Drolefille

PolyPanGeekGirl
Reine said:
The Lion posted this: Are there Reasonable Moral Grounds to Oppose Open Relationships and Marriages?

1. There are moral grounds to oppose things that we think are damaging
2. What would opposition include or not include, if it was to be done in a functional way?
Click to expand...

Does one just have to think it's damaging or does there have to be evidence that it is damaging? Does one's personal lack of desire to participate in one equal a moral objection to anyone else's choice to participate in one?

(I don't know if you're just restating or actually arguing a point, but I thought I'd throw those out there nonetheless.)
 
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