Ask an Atheist, Get a Snide, Sarcastic Response

[linwood]

Dear idea,
Your comments regarding truth in humor are spot on! The fact that many religious people believe these ridiculous things about atheists is, indeed, the main thrust of the thread. Confirmation that a religionist is ignorant enough to believe these moronic lies supports the truth of the farcical humor of this thread. Score one for the truth of humor, and you're welcome for the laughs.
Sincerely,
ATS

Now that`s snide!!

I have a long way to go.

 

[The Neo Nerd]

Now that`s snide!!

I have a long way to go.

Don't worry grasshopper you'll get there it jsut takes time.

-Q

 

[Kilgore Trout]

3 questions
1. Now that Atheists are able to overturns Bush’s “conscience rule”, will Christian doctors be fired, put in jail, or killed outright for refusing to perform infanticide?


2. Communist atheists have done a near complete job of successfully killing most Christians in China, North Korea, Cuba, and Vietnam. Now I know that these things take time because they are best done gradually (“The safest road to hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts. - C. S. Lewis) but seeing how we have been on this road for quite some time now, how much longer before the atheists communist controlled UN takes over the world (if they have not already don so), starts enforcing “hate speech” laws which prohibit the preaching/practicing/gathering of all Christian denominations within those remaining areas in which Christianity is still practiced?


3. One more question – Once atheists are successful at tramping out all of the Christians (through “hate crime” laws, pro-abortion laws, and the communist NWO) What form will the worldwide survival of the fittest/Darwinian ethnic cleansing take place? Will it be fast and painless through the use of atomic warfare? or a slow gradual road to hell? Or a combination of the above?


Just wondering what my kids have to look forward to.
Thanks for the answers!

Dear idea,
Your fantasies about christians being fired, jailed, and tramped out are a delightful thought, but, unfortunately, nothing more than a fantasy!

1) I would imagine that overturning this rule will result in people actually doing the job they're paid to do, regardless of their primitive superstitions. Additionally, where I live, in the US, we have laws against murder, so that anyone who commits one is imprisoned, regardless of their superstitions or lack thereof.

2) This is a good point and essentially highlights the inefficiencies of communism. An atheistic capitalist country would have been successful in wiping out all the christians long ago. Just imagine what could be accomplished when you take to great things - capitalism and atheism - and put them together.

3) Ha - this is a trick question, as once all the christians, and other superstitionists, are tramped out, no ethnic cleansing will be necessary. Evolution will be able to take its natural course, unhindered by those created it by it, yet refuse to accept the truth of it.

 

[idea]

I`m pretty sure anti-abortion doctors don`t now nor will engage their profession in the area of abortion or birth control so your query is..meaningless.

If Christian doctors are not being forced to act against their conscience, then why was this law estabilished? And why is it now under fire / being removed?

The UN isn`t able to distribute humanitarian aid without screwing it up.
I don`t think they`ll be taking over the world anytime soon.

The goal of the UN is not to distribute humanitarian aid. The goal of the UN is to establish the NWO - to take over the world. They do this by withholding aid/"screwing up" in delivery, disarming local populations, and then pulling out troups to allow communist regimes to take over while they talk about what is happening over cups of coffee. Inefficiency in responding to crisis situations is a great tool for taking over the world.

Yeah them damn atheists are everywhere!!

The 7% or so in this country have really been able to trample down the other 90% of religious people at an alarming rate!
:biglaugh:

7% - well, it only took 4.7% in China, 3% in Vietnam, although Cuba has us beat with 11.7%.
Communist Nations

That's the great thing about communism - minority rule - amazing how 4.7% of the population - a few million - can rule the other billion or so isn't it? And seeings how Atheists are in the minority, this is just the sort of thing they need to get a leg up in the world.

 

[idea]

Dear idea,
Your comments regarding truth in humor are spot on! The fact that many religious people believe these ridiculous things about atheists is, indeed, the main thrust of the thread. Confirmation that a religionist is ignorant enough to believe these moronic lies supports the truth of the farcical humor of this thread. Score one for the truth of humor, and you're welcome for the laughs.
Sincerely,
ATS

you did not answer the questions. How long before Armageddon breaks out? Only asking because I’m actually looking forward to it will usher in the second coming of the Lord, and begin the thousand year millennium period.

The Millennium is going to rock!

MILLENNIUM.

See also Hell; Second Coming of Jesus Christ

The thousand-year period of peace that will begin when Christ returns to reign personally on the earth (A of F 1:10).

People will not lift up sword, neither learn war any more, Isa. 2:4 (2 Ne. 12:4; Micah 4:3). Land that was desolate is become like the garden of Eden, Ezek. 36:35. They lived and reigned with Christ a thousand years, Rev. 20:4. Because of righteousness, Satan has no power, 1 Ne. 22:26. I will dwell in righteousness on earth a thousand years, D&C 29:11. When the thousand years are ended, I will spare the earth for a little season, D&C 29:22. The great Millennium shall come, D&C 43:30. Children of the righteous will grow up without sin, D&C 45:58. Children shall grow up until they become old; men shall be changed in the twinkling of an eye, D&C 63:51. In the beginning of the seventh thousand years, the Lord will sanctify the earth, D&C 77:12. They live not again until the thousand years are ended, D&C 88:101. Satan shall be bound for a thousand years, D&C 88:110. The Millennium is described, D&C 101:23–34. For a thousand years the earth shall rest, Moses 7:64.
(Guide to the Scriptures | M Millennium.:Entry)

http://www.adherents.com/largecom/com_communist.html

 

[idea]

An atheistic capitalist country would have been successful in wiping out all the christians long ago.

PS - a country which wipes out all christians - or any group - is not a capitalist country. It is a communist one.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

Dear Gentle Readers,
If you are not the Snide Atheist, nor are asking the Snide Atheist a question, please refrain from posting in this thread. Or else, we'll have to sick the dogs on you and possibly give you a wedgy.
Sincerely,
Hugh J. Doosh
Editor

 

[monta]

you did not answer the questions. How long before Armageddon breaks out? Only asking because I’m actually looking forward to it will usher in the second coming of the Lord, and begin the thousand year millennium period.

The Millennium is going to rock!

Jesus isn't laughing with you :no:​

 

[Kilgore Trout]

you did not answer the questions. How long before Armageddon breaks out? Only asking because I’m actually looking forward to it will usher in the second coming of the Lord, and begin the thousand year millennium period.

The Millennium is going to rock!

Dear idea,
Huffing paint apparently caused you to end up in an extremely long coma! I hate to be the one to tell you, but the millenium happened almost a decade ago. It sucks that you missed the party, but don't worry, there will be plenty of spray paint and brown paper bags around this New Year's as well. Enjoy!
Sincerely,
ATS

 

[linwood]

If Christian doctors are not being forced to act against their conscience, then why was this law estabilished? And why is it now under fire / being removed?

Because pharmacists were refusing to do the jobs they were hired to do.
Distribute drugs according to doctors prescriptions.

I don`t work for the Catholic church because I have ethical differences that keep me from doing so.

If you have ethical problems distributing birth control then I think a carreer in pharmacy is an idiotic path to invest in and you deserve what you get for choosing such an idiotic path.

The goal of the UN is not to distribute humanitarian aid. The goal of the UN is to establish the NWO - to take over the world. They do this by withholding aid/"screwing up" in delivery, disarming local populations, and then pulling out troups to allow communist regimes to take over while they talk about what is happening over cups of coffee. Inefficiency in responding to crisis situations is a great tool for taking over the world.

Sure and my point is that the UN is such an inefficient politically tied up organization it can`t reach any goal it sets.
The NWO is a pipe dream.

7% - well, it only took 4.7% in China, 3% in Vietnam, although Cuba has us beat with 11.7%.
Communist Nations

That's the great thing about communism - minority rule - amazing how 4.7% of the population - a few million - can rule the other billion or so isn't it? And seeings how Atheists are in the minority, this is just the sort of thing they need to get a leg up in the world.

Do you live in the US?
Atheists have 0 political clout here.
Nada,naft, none.
Stating that atheism is taking over the country is ...assinine.

Atheism isn`t capable of such a thing.

Dogma is necessary to subvert the will of the people.
That takes a secure, established philosophy.
This is a thing that atheism doesn`t nor can ever have.

 

[rojse]

Dear Snide, Sarcastic Atheist,

As an atheist, I've been trying to get into the spirit of things by participating in orgies and committing all sorts of sin, but I don't really see the point any more. Can you help me out?

 

[monta]

Dear Snide, Sarcastic Atheist,

As an atheist, I've been trying to get into the spirit of things by participating in orgies and committing all sorts of sin, but I don't really see the point any more. Can you help me out?

Rest your thumbs ATS- I think the answer to this one is obvious

 

[rojse]

Rest your thumbs ATS- I think the answer to this one is obvious

What is that?

 

[Ozzie]

Dear Snide, Sarcastic Atheist,

As an atheist, I've been trying to get into the spirit of things by participating in orgies and committing all sorts of sin, but I don't really see the point any more. Can you help me out?

Hint: your blowup doll is really an icon.

 

[Daemon Sophic]

Dear atheist,

How is it, as the freely sinning baby-killer that you are, with all those laws and morals to crush under your Gestapo heel each day, that you can always have the time to answer all of our inane questions with such grace and humility?

Awaiting enlightenment,
your pious servant :bow:
DS

 

[Jackytar]

Dear Snide Atheist,

An atheist once told me that the best way to load babies into an incinerator is to use a pitchfork. That way you can tell the dead ones from the live ones (the live ones make the pitchfork shake in your hands). My question is, why did he care?

Jackytar

 

[Kilgore Trout]

PS - a country which wipes out all christians - or any group - is not a capitalist country. It is a communist one.

Dear idea,
Apparently magical underwear doesn't protect one from embarrassing ignorance! Wiping out christians is neither capitalistic, nor communistic, but merely prudent. Once you get an infestation of religionists in your country, it is extremely difficult to get rid of them all. Before you know it, you have a bunch of delusional half-wits annoying everyone with their magical tales. If I want to engage in some fantasy fiction, I'll just read some Tolkein. At least his stories are internally consistent and entertaining.
Sincerely,
ATS

 

[Kilgore Trout]

Dear Snide, Sarcastic Atheist,

As an atheist, I've been trying to get into the spirit of things by participating in orgies and committing all sorts of sin, but I don't really see the point any more. Can you help me out?

Dear rojse,
If your nose wasn't attached to your face, I bet you'd forget to do your line! No help is required - you're doing it correctly. The point is that there is no point. Living a life of selfish, hedonistic pleasure is simply to help divert us from the soul-crushing fact that life has no purpose or meaning. If you find yourself wondering what the point is, then you need to step it up. One cannot ponder the pointlessness of life when one is passed out from gulping down a liter of Jack Daniels.
Sincerely,
ATS

 

[Morse]

Dear idea,
Apparently magical underwear doesn't protect one from embarrassing ignorance! Wiping out christians is neither capitalistic, nor communistic, but merely prudent. Once you get an infestation of religionists in your country, it is extremely difficult to get rid of them all. Before you know it, you have a bunch of delusional half-wits annoying everyone with their magical tales. If I want to engage in some fantasy fiction, I'll just read some Tolkein. At least his stories are internally consistent and entertaining.
Sincerely,
ATS

Dear Atheist,
Who exactly thought you had the intellectual capacity to advise so much as a rusty tire iron?

Regards,
Morse

 

[rageoftyrael]

Dear Morse,

Your mom!

yours truly,
rageoftyrael